Massages seem to be the way forward, put some slow sensual erotic music on, candles, deep breathing against their back usually gets me in the mood and him too, try some edible candles, where you can lick the wax off after, fun for the both of you, or edible lube, use firm hands, your tongue anything... a feather tickler might work too.
Me and my boyfriend tried tying eachother to the bed with our dressing down ties, and i bought some edible body candy from Poundland (cheap i know but o well) it was the popping kind, i trailed it from his nipples on a sexual adventure to his armpits then towards his belly button and down to his cock, he loved it. the popping feels nice on the nipples and the clit/bell end.
Put a blindfold on them and do what you please.
I learnt massage at college, maybe an evening class in this might help situations, but massage is quite easy if youre willing, work on the shoulders, kiss their back or areas that arent usually bare or touched much. Slap their arse a little, not hard, just little spanks.
Try whatever feels natural and sexy to the both of you... speak softly and enjoy x