Constantly Horny :(

oh hunny :( its not sounding too good for you, perhaps theres something bothering her (totally unrelated - work, uni, friends, family, anything) it could be getting her down and shes lost her drive, it could be anything though try keeping an eye out to see if theres anything that particuarly stresses her out or upsets her, even the slightest signs of depression CAN affect sex drive (not saying she is depressed - just that there may be something getting her down?)

I mentioned feeling the same, constantly needing sex - well iit seems my mind and body are playing different games, weve had sex tce in the last few weeks and neither time did I come (or get anywhee near) and both times just hurt.  but getting him turned on is hard enough never mind thinking about working myself up too so im still craving sex and intimassy but its just not happening :( am I really asking fo too much? :/ perhaps i need a woman :( x

Im gagging all the time but i miss having itamicy with someone - pants

Apologies for bumping an old thread - this seemed an interesting issue.

Chel - I hope things have resolved themselves since July, and that you and your girlfriend now have a harmonious sex life.

From my own experience, and those of friends, I suspect that this is for some reason a particularly common issue in lesbian relationships.

I've always had a much higher sex drive that my girlfriend, which has occasionally led to stresses within our relationship. In fairness, she has a normal sex drive, while I have a very high one. Often I feel I need sex so badly it almost hurts, like I'm ill, like there's something wrong with me. I masturbate for relief, but that's not enough - I need her body, I need communion with her.

In turn, I feel unwanted while she feels too pressurised to have sex; she's hardly likely to enjoy making love if she's doing it under duress.

  hey guys - sorry to bring up an old post! so... nearly 8months later and it hasn't changed - but now i have a smaller sex drive because i'm called a sex pest for having one.... in fact, i don't enjoy sex much because the whole time i'm worried that she's only doing it because

Its a serious case of LESBIAN BED DEATH!! <- obviously a well researched topic and that of course that is its professional, theorized name!!

Our relationship is amazing.... apart from the lack of sex. In fact, it isn't even a lack of sex - it's a lack of feeling wanted. I feel loved... don't get me wrong! I know she adores me... but I don't feel attractive or sexy in any way, shape or form where she perves over other girls and jokes about who she'd like to sleep with.... and that's what hurts i guess!

 I share the feeling.....

Sorry to see you are still struggling Chels :( x

There is probably no easy solution, but one thing I can say is that having a high sex drive does not make you a bad person.  Making bad decisions because you are too horny to think straight, that is another matter though.

I hope your OH finds a way to make you feel wanted again.  The only advice I can offer is to make sure she knows that it is effecting your self esteme.

Hey Chel1s8,
 

After reading one of your older posts on this thread, I’m a little concerned.

It sounds like you have put a hell of a lot of effort into your relationship and yet nothing is being returned back to you. And I’m not just talking about sex but other things like when you treat her to candle lit baths and massages and she has no response to them. This can only be hurtful and damaging to your confidence and self esteem. Does she ever do nice things for you?

It comes across as everything being one sided. You have been mature enough to chat to her about how you feel and why you feel that way….. yet now you feel like you have to stop because she makes you feel like you have to. What’s worse is you then apologise for your feelings! You haven’t done anything wrong! Babe, you need to really sit down and consider if this relationship is more damaging and doing you more harm than anything else.

If you want to make it work with her, then I suggest writing a letter. Sometimes we can express more in writing than we can in words (face to face).

I would also explain to her that her making comments on women she would like to sleep with while you are out together is a massive NO NO!

I think this stems from more than sex drive. This is more about how she makes you feel that then impacts your sex life.

Also would just like to say, if that is you in your pic, you are extremely beautiful and attractive and so you should feel sexy and attractive.

xxx

Miss teach&nurse wrote:

Hey Chel1s8,
 

After reading one of your older posts on this thread, I’m a little concerned.

It sounds like you have put a hell of a lot of effort into your relationship and yet nothing is being returned back to you. And I’m not just talking about sex but other things like when you treat her to candle lit baths and massages and she has no response to them. This can only be hurtful and damaging to your confidence and self esteem. Does she ever do nice things for you?

It comes across as everything being one sided. You have been mature enough to chat to her about how you feel and why you feel that way….. yet now you feel like you have to stop because she makes you feel like you have to. What’s worse is you then apologise for your feelings! You haven’t done anything wrong! Babe, you need to really sit down and consider if this relationship is more damaging and doing you more harm than anything else.

If you want to make it work with her, then I suggest writing a letter. Sometimes we can express more in writing than we can in words (face to face).

I would also explain to her that her making comments on women she would like to sleep with while you are out together is a massive NO NO!

I think this stems from more than sex drive. This is more about how she makes you feel that then impacts your sex life.

Also would just like to say, if that is you in your pic, you are extremely beautiful and attractive and so you should feel sexy and attractive.

xxx

i agree with miss tbh sounds like its a bit one sided from what your saying, im not saying she dosnt love you, but does sound like shes the one with a bit of a problem (dont mean to sound harsh) afterall your VERY attractive and beautiful, you sound like a lovely girl and you constantly want sex. you sounds like the perfect partner if im honest ;) so dont feel down.

xx

I love sex, everything about it, i crave it, i'm literally gagging for it!  Although, I did go to the Dr's about this, due to other issues and was diagnosed with depression, I knew I was depressed, everything going on around me pointed to that and I chucked everything I had into sex.

Not saying you are depressed but it was a stress release, I didn't want to admit that something was wrong, so I dived into sex.

It sounds like a 1 way relationship to me, I think you need to sit down with your GF and talk the relationship through.

sex nerver hert anyone its healthy and like you sead a stress relief if you get the wrong doc you will walk away depressed go outside smell the tress dirt bark your alive

whyt not get a educational dvd watch it and have sex i think it works great find that orotic feeling and go with it with or without your partner no one can satisfy somebody all the time never ever my relasionship was a little flat for 10 years not enough sex but i love my partner and now we are maniacs spelling.      my hormone levels are crazy and so are hers but i still need more than her

try to find new ways to masturbate stop start method erotic videos you will be a new lady with the added sex of your partner. Stop start for 30 minutes stop just before orgasam then start again when you decide to orgasam your eyes will water your body will feel great then and for ages after and no stress try somthing new

i am exactly the same discover new was to erouse your self,education videos i find great, and rub that clit

 I'v had a problem with sex for many years now and have been to see a doctor because I was addicted to sex. Having a partner and a baby slowed me down a little but recently my partner had to sit me down and say look, it's too much. He said he dreaded coming home on a night because it meant he would have to have sex with me and honestly he made me feel like a perverted freak. So what did I do.. I chose to no grope or molest him and put a barrier up. Not the best option but in my circumstances it was.. and it worked. It was hard at first but the longer I went without sex the less I wanted it and thought about it. Now HE comes on to ME and although it's still not as often as I'd like I have to respect his wishes too.. If you have no ties then you have a chance now to get out there and find someone you are compatible with.. before you end up like me when it's too late! I keep myself busy through the day to take my mind off it because if I don't then I just end up wanting to masturbate all day and get frustrated with my baby. I'v also had depression for nearly 6 years and am on anti depressants.. which can affect the sex drive massively. Although I feel down a lot, having sex is my release so I get very irritable when I can't have it. I am still seeking help for this but in the meantime.. keep yourself occupied and as Miss teach&nurse said.. try writing a letter. I use to use letters all the time when I first got together with my partner and I have got to say it really does make a difference. Good luck! And you are a beautiful girl so chin up! Xxx

lady.gasm.X I know that feeling,  I can go weeks with not wanting it, then suddenly switch to weeks where I'm a fiend!!

 I think it just depends on your mood, your social life, surroundings, also I think your menstrual cycle can affect your sex drive.. when I am on I am like a wild beast! Lol. But there's days when I just can't get into it and days where it's all I can think about xx

 I think the thing about sex addiction is that you use sex to fix your emotional needs, and you need to try and tackle that. Having being on both ends of the spectrum, if I'm not feeling like it and I feel pressured, it makes me feel even less like it, and I know the other peson wants it so I feel guilty, and angry that I shouldn't have to feel guilty, and it all spirals in to a sex free zone where everything they do feels like they want sex. I also never feel like sex if I am feeling angry, or if there is some need I have that the other person isn't meeting.

Generally though, The more I get the more I want. I could quite happily have sex 7 or 8 times a day. Most men aren't up for that much. That would be a minimum amount for me for self pleasure. I find my sex drive goes through the roof when I feel insecure or stressed (but not angry, or not angry at the person I want to have sex with anyway), and I know that is my way of externalising an emotional need. Sometimes, to just lie with someone and feel they are close to me and without any candles or kissing or fondleing is just enough to make me feel at peace. When I'm in a stable relationship, and in a good place emotionally, I even out at about 2 or 3 times a day, 4 or 5 days a week. I can take a couple of days off to catch up on sleep and still feel content and wanted, especially if he lets me touch him during sleep. 

lilac_vix wrote:

 I think the thing about sex addiction is that you use sex to fix your emotional needs, and you need to try and tackle that. Having being on both ends of the spectrum, if I'm not feeling like it and I feel pressured, it makes me feel even less like it, and I know the other peson wants it so I feel guilty, and angry that I shouldn't have to feel guilty, and it all spirals in to a sex free zone where everything they do feels like they want sex. I also never feel like sex if I am feeling angry, or if there is some need I have that the other person isn't meeting.

Generally though, The more I get the more I want. I could quite happily have sex 7 or 8 times a day. Most men aren't up for that much. That would be a minimum amount for me for self pleasure. I find my sex drive goes through the roof when I feel insecure or stressed (but not angry, or not angry at the person I want to have sex with anyway), and I know that is my way of externalising an emotional need. Sometimes, to just lie with someone and feel they are close to me and without any candles or kissing or fondleing is just enough to make me feel at peace. When I'm in a stable relationship, and in a good place emotionally, I even out at about 2 or 3 times a day, 4 or 5 days a week. I can take a couple of days off to catch up on sleep and still feel content and wanted, especially if he lets me touch him during sleep. 

This explains is perfectly. Also I think the sex addiction is a way of self pity for a lot of people who have been abused. It is similar to cutting and can become a danger if it is not acknowledged. Usually with se addiction the person will try newer and more danerous ways to get the hit they want and if it involves having unprotected sex or meeting strangers for sex then the person in question needs help

nice pic, my sex drive is much higher than my wifes im the same as you and i love her to bits and wouldnt be without her or cheat

I know how you feel, my wife gives me about 10% of what I need in bed. I am always horny and can't find a way to make it better. I don't want to masturbate anymore, I am not able to finish most of the time because it gets old. My wife only wants to have sex in the same positions, she refuses to receive or do oral, same with masturbation. I feel like there is no way to satisfy myself. She won't even let me buy sex toys anymore and I got rid of all my old ones a little while back. It makes me feel depressed and lonely a lot. If I try to bring the subject up she gets angry...