• Anyone unsure about their sexuality?

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    Roxy Roller [sign in to see picture]
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    So...

    This is kinda complicated and I'm sure anyone reading this will be like 'what the fook', but here goes. I need some advice really, your honest opinions are much appreciated :)

    I have been with my BOYfriend for over three years now. I've had relationships with girls before, but I really do love my boyfriend. For about a year I've stopped having sex with him and we hardly ever do it... because, to put it bluntly, cock doesnt do it for me anymore hahaha.

    We had a break a couple of months back, and I met this girl, we had sex but it wasnt anything serious- I don't want a realationship with her even now.

    The hard thing is, my boyfriends friends are my friends, theres a massive group of us and I love being around them all, including him.

    I really do think I'm a full on carpet muncher.

    PLEASE HELP :(

    1310474253
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    People on these forums are often more aware of their sexuality than the general population. Personally, I would consider myself almost gay, except that I am with a man. Most of the time I find women generally more attractive and sexy than men. I do believe there are different ranges of sexuality and what sex you generally prefer.

    There is nothing wrong with being honest to your boyfriend, you could just say you think its time to move on. In the long run, that is much better than living a lie.

    If you are gay then thats fine, if you are bisexual then thats fine. I am sure you will meet a man or woman that is perfect for you and until then, have fun experiementing.

    Good luck!

    MM xx

    1310474811
    Roxy Roller [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for that, MM. :) It's probably gonna take a long while to figure it out. Only time will tell eh...

    1310475004
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Roxy Roller wrote:

    Thanks for that, MM. :) It's probably gonna take a long while to figure it out. Only time will tell eh...

    Your welcome, glad you found it helpful.

    Exactly and have fun doing it!

    1310475609
    mrbumps [sign in to see picture]
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    the cheating thing i dont agree with, break or not. but people get hurt in relationships all the time but this is one thing i would say dont tell him, just break up and leave it as that. if you tell him you could very well give him a complex which isnt fair. it would be very cruel. imho

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    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    I consider myself as straight, but a bi curious. I do occassionally think of a woman when masturbating, although it is pretty rare. I have never been with a woman. All my relationships were obviously with men. I am currently in still relatively fresh relationship (about 7 months now) and I would never cheat on my partner, not even with woman. Love him too much for that. But sexuality is pretty hard to say for sure, as I think large percentage of people, especially women, have bisexual fantasies.

    One thing is that emotions and sexuality may not work too well together at times. Last summer I was really attracted to a friend, until we kissed and I just knew it would not work sexualy. Luckily we are still friends and both in happy relationships!

    I think you will have to decide if you think the relationship will or will not work. In the second case I think you may have to let your boyfriend go his way. After the breaking it will take time to fully heal on both sides and at first the contact afterwards will be a bit timid. Good if you have a good friend support network, you may need them.

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    Pixieking [sign in to see picture]
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    It's also worth remembering that sexuality can be quite a fluid thing, so just because now you feel like you are only Into girls, it doesn't mean you were lying or indenial when you were first interested in him.

    On the up side to this, there is no saying that you both couldn't adapt to being friends. I guess it just depends on how he feels towards you.

    1310486059
    mrbumps [sign in to see picture]
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    heh, how did he manage a year....

    i get antsy after a few days. id never put up with that lol.

    you might be lucky, hes prolly having an affar and might be understanding /shrug

    1310487789
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    mrbumps wrote:

    heh, how did he manage a year....

    i get antsy after a few days. id never put up with that lol.

    you might be lucky, hes prolly having an affar and might be understanding /shrug

    Its possible to be without it for a year. A friend ended up having risky pregnancy, so they could not have sex with her husband from the 6th month onwards. And after severe complications during childbirth, she got so badly injured it took many months, maybe even more, to be able to do it again, and that was with pain, so her partner was incredibly patient. I think if you love the person and you know he/she are having problems.. its possible. Masturbation plays a key part in surviving.

    1310497261
    Leon Bellmont [sign in to see picture]
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    We are what we are and it is within our nature to be. I personally am struggling with possibly being attracted sexually to boys as well as girls so I kind of understand what you’re going through sort of. I guess the only advice I can give is follow your heart, though the truth is often more difficult it is best to be honest first with yourself and then with the boy in question. He obviously loves you and accepts you for who you are and im sure he will understand if you choose to tell him. Hope it helps hun and good luck.

    1310514053
    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
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    mrbumps wrote:

    the cheating thing i dont agree with, break or not. but people get hurt in relationships all the time but this is one thing i would say dont tell him, just break up and leave it as that. if you tell him you could very well give him a complex which isnt fair. it would be very cruel. imho

    But on the flip side, what do you say if you do break up? If my boyfriend suddenly announced he was gay and it was over between us, I wouldn't take it personally, I'd just accept that that's the way he was. One person alone cannot turn another gay.

    If you don't tell him, then your only option is to say nothing, in which case he'll spend the rest of his life wondering what it was he did wrong (or get hurt when he later finds out). Alternatively, you can lie, which is just wrong. In either case, it's likely that he'll find out sooner or later anyway.

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    atlanta [sign in to see picture]
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    I am bi. Regretfully I have concluded that being in a stable relationship means that I have to forgo the "other side". I still masturbate thinking about men but in general we manage to get along. It's not easy is all I can say. On the other hand men (in general ) I think are more tolerant of the idea of a mate being bisexual than woman are of their hubby being bi. Maybe I'm wrong. Hope you can work it out. xxx

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    pimpstress [sign in to see picture]
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    MasqueradeMinx wrote:

    People on these forums are often more aware of their sexuality than the general population. Personally, I would consider myself almost gay, except that I am with a man. Most of the time I find women generally more attractive and sexy than men. I do believe there are different ranges of sexuality and what sex you generally prefer.

    There is nothing wrong with being honest to your boyfriend, you could just say you think its time to move on. In the long run, that is much better than living a lie.

    If you are gay then thats fine, if you are bisexual then thats fine. I am sure you will meet a man or woman that is perfect for you and until then, have fun experiementing.

    Good luck!

    MM xx

    I second that!

    1310547459
    Roxy Roller [sign in to see picture]
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    mrbumps wrote:

    heh, how did he manage a year....

    i get antsy after a few days. id never put up with that lol.

    you might be lucky, hes prolly having an affar and might be understanding /shrug

    Haha, i see where youre comin from. But then again I had to practically be his carer when got into sniffing horse tranquiliser every day. Not saying i'm getting even, im not like that, but hes not exactly an angel either haha :)

    1310553680
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    I do echo what others have said. Being in a relationship is unfair to you both.

    You need time to develop as a person and explore your sexuality and he needs to be allowed the freedom from the relationship that's more or less come to a natural end.

    Telling him that you feel unsure of your sexuality and that it's not fair that he's caught in the middle is probably the best course of action.

    I know you share common friends but could you see some of them on a one to one basis for a while if things with your ex gets awkward? looking positive about it, it could be a great opportunity to strengthen friendships

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    sam [sign in to see picture]
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    hi, i'm a lesbian but 8 months ago i cam out of a 7 year relationship with the only man i had been with. i thought i was a lesbian when i was a teenager but denied it as i felt it was wrong. at 18 i met my ex and i liked him but never really liked the sex but not ever had been in a relationship before i didn't know what to expect and i thought i would learn to like it. During the 7 years i went from thinking i was cured and therefore straight to bicurious to bisexual and then i decided that actually i was a lesbian.

    it took awhile for me to come to this conclusion and i believe if your unsure you need time to explore your feelings and find the person you truely are without dragging anyone else into it. Its not fair on your partner and i know my ex was unable to move on for awhile because he thought i was going through a phase and i'll soon be back.

    i sympathise with you of not knowing, it is difficult and can lead to depression and anxieties. dont focus on the labels just be you.

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    Roxy Roller [sign in to see picture]
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    Sam, thanks so much for that. you are very brave, that must have took some balls to do what you did. how is life now youre out and proud?

    I still havent split with him, I tried to the other day but he just pretends it hasn't happened. He said he will never speak to me again if I split up with him. Also most of my friends are his friends, so Im afraid of being alone most of the time.

    Roxy

    1313448572
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't let him bully you into staying if you are unhappy, if you want to end things then you have every right to.

    You will not be alone and you will soon find out who your real friends are, besides you will make more friends.

    It is better to be a little lonely and not living a lie than to stay and be unhappy.

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