• How do I word this ?

    1307283911
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    I really want to tell someone who by nature is a very gentle person that I have a fantasy about them coming over to my place and controlling me from the moment they arrive in all ways ;

    (I must add , we have slept together a few times )

    Ordering me to get their drinks , rub their shoulders , sit a certain way if they find it more attractive , correct me on my manners etc then for it to lead on to them directing it in a sexual way , them deciding what I should do to them or recieve .

    I am craving some "Mind Controle" from them . But I don't know how to word this direct and clearly without sounding off putting .

    All ideas welcome please .

    1307284142
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    How well do you know them? What would be the consequences if they didn't like the idea?

    I don't think it's a problem that the other person is very gentle in nature. I'm a similar type, but I have no difficulty being firm, stern and dominant in a play scenario.

    1307284326
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    I know them pretty well , we have been friends for quite a while . I dont think we would fall out or anything like that . I think the worst he would do is say no but I wont know until I ask , and I just dont know how to ask .

    1307284344
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, I would suggest you try talking to them about fantasies as such. See if they would like to be dominating.

    Try to hint at how you would like someone to be in control.

    Perhaps try watching something like the secretary, something subtly sexy and dominating.

    1307284497
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with MM. Tell them that you want to bare your soul about some fantasies that you've been having. I'd find that a pretty irresistable offer! You can then gradually introduce the idea that you'd like to play them out.

    1307284554
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    I think that may be a good idea

    xL-Yx

    1307284823
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Secretary could be considered just a sexy video.

    Otherwise, he may just not be the dominating type. Some people aren't. Would you be able to dominat him instead?

    1307284957
    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
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    I'd agree - start by having a general conversation about it and then elaborate about what you'd like specifically if he seems open-minded to the idea.

    You say you've slept with him a couple of times - did he show any controlling tendencies then?

    Angel x

    1307285007
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    Not really DRA .

    I will have a chat , more focused on fantasies .

    Thanks all

    xxxx

    1307285249
    silverdrop [sign in to see picture]
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    "I'm feeling really foolish and a little embarassed about this, but I have a sexual fantasy about you and me where..." (details follow) "... and it makes me so hot every time I think of it, that I'd love it if you'd be willing to explore it with me."

    Sharing your fantasies with someone is very emotionally vulnerable, even if you have been physically vulnerable with them before. But it can also bring you closer and make the sex much hotter. Be sure and use the opportunity to ask about his fantasies too.

    1307285268
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Lookin - Yummy wrote:

    I could dominate him , I have done in the past and he has liked it . But without sounding selfish , although I know I probably do , I would like just one time to be submissive .

    It doesn't sound selfish.

    I agree with angel, did she show any dominating tendances? Even small things like controlling movements and depth. If he has then it will be much easier for him to dominate.

    1307285269
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Lookin - Yummy wrote:

    I could dominate him , I have done in the past and he has liked it . But without sounding selfish , although I know I probably do , I would like just one time to be submissive .

    It doesn't sound selfish.

    I agree with angel, did she show any dominating tendances? Even small things like controlling movements and depth. If he has then it will be much easier for him to dominate.

    1307285475
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    silverdrop wrote:

    Sharing your fantasies with someone is very emotionally vulnerable, even if you have been physically vulnerable with them before. But it can also bring you closer and make the sex much hotter. Be sure and use the opportunity to ask about his fantasies too.

    That is so true!

    1307286363
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    silverdrop wrote:

    "I'm feeling really foolish and a little embarassed about this, but I have a sexual fantasy about you and me where..." (details follow) "... and it makes me so hot every time I think of it, that I'd love it if you'd be willing to explore it with me."

    Sharing your fantasies with someone is very emotionally vulnerable, even if you have been physically vulnerable with them before. But it can also bring you closer and make the sex much hotter. Be sure and use the opportunity to ask about his fantasies too.

    Thats a very good way to start the chat . Thank you . xx

    1307286636
    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
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    Lookin - Yummy wrote:

    silverdrop wrote:

    "I'm feeling really foolish and a little embarassed about this, but I have a sexual fantasy about you and me where..." (details follow) "... and it makes me so hot every time I think of it, that I'd love it if you'd be willing to explore it with me."

    Sharing your fantasies with someone is very emotionally vulnerable, even if you have been physically vulnerable with them before. But it can also bring you closer and make the sex much hotter. Be sure and use the opportunity to ask about his fantasies too.

    Thats a very good way to start the chat . Thank you . xx

    I was thinking that - that way if he is uncomfortable or doesn't really like the idea you can just back-off with "well, you know what I'm like"

    And that way you'd probably plant the 'seed' in his mind too

    Angel x

    1307295257
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think you should read too much into the lack of any indication so far of interest in dominance.

    Just taking myself as an example, I don't think anyone who knows me would describe me as domineering. I'm generally quiet and placid, and I prefer to negotiate and co-operate in the interests of harmony rather than impose myself on events. That doesn't mean, though, that I'm unable to take a firm line if need be. Indeed, if I'm given permission to do this for altruistic reasons, then I'll jump at the opportunity!

    There are some fantasies that I know that my wife enjoys but which she's too reserved to ask for explicitly. What seems to work is for me (with her permission) to make her go through with them. That way, she can relax because she can imagine that it's all my fault for being "nasty" and "forcing" her.

    I guess this is "soft dominance" in the sense that I'm only reflecting and responding to my wife's own needs for dominance rather than indulging my own. I really enjoy taking that responsibility, though, and it's possible that the "very gentle person" described by Lookin - Yummy is just the same.

    1307363193
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for that Cuddly Hubby .

    I just wanted to say that he came to mine last night and we did have a chat. I started it in the way suggested on here and it went quite well . I managed to tell him what I would like and he seemed interested to know more . He then asked me why I want this , considering that a past relationship of mine wasnt nice , to put it one way . Oddly , I then clammed up and had a bit of difficulty explaining why and how this would be different as I know it would be in a caring way etc so him being the cheeky chappie that he is , laid me on the floor , straddeled my legs , removed my socks and mixing betwen playfully & sensually tickled my feet ( Anyone who knows me will know this is one of my biggest turn ons) this in turn relaxed me , between laughter and I was able to relax and tell him . The outcome was that he said he needed a bit more guidance / knowledge , I even introduced him to LH whilst he was here , he said he would have a think and when he felt confident enough he would happily try it . Thanks to me being quite turned on , we then ended up goin upstairs ..... And he pleasured me intensley

    Thanks to you all for your comments and opinions .

    xL-Yx

    1307363769
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    As I said sweetie, really really glad it went well!

    It can be a little daunting for someone new to domination, what to say, what to do, how hard to spank etc. Hopefully once he has done some research you will both have a lot of fun and a very pleasurable experience that will be repeated.

    xx

    1307368645
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    hmm i think talking about it with him would be a good idea.

    could you find some erotic fiction that's similar to what you wants and get him to read it. theres tonnes at literotica.com.

    As others have said roleplay would be fun, secetary and boss, dr and nurse, drill seargent and squaddie, french maid.

    maybe explaining to him that theres no "one true way" to dominate would help. there's a guide on lovehoney http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=7433

    1307381212
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks SL.

    I hadn't thought of drill seargent & squaddie

    xx

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