• Anal....do you think it's a big deal...???

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    Miss Pussycat [sign in to see picture]
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    Only had anal once and I have to confess to being very drunk. Always turned hubby down when he has tried or suggested it, however whilst playing I have tried a few toys and have to confess to actually liking something up there, just got to work out how to tell hubby now.

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    sovereign [sign in to see picture]
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    My girlfriend told me she would do anal last night, so i looked forward to thr moment, w lubed up as we are told to but i enteered she orgased and i went soft before coming so what now, im annoyed that i didnt stay in her pussy and she pleased, just goes to prove its not the perfect end to making love to your gf/partner and if you not confident then stay with what you are.

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    maccess [sign in to see picture]
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    great advice!

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    phabandphoxy [sign in to see picture]
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    OMG!!! you made me laugh out loud at your brilliant explanation of "its not meant to go there either" ... still laughing whle I am typing .... soo funny. Made such an intimate, close and nerve racking experience quite funny

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    no big deal just very nice

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    hornygal12 [sign in to see picture]
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    I personalley think anal is amazing, but if you feel a bit apprehensive I would suggest using some small anal toys and work your way up to having full on anal sex with your boyfriend. Because, believe me, anal is unforgatable and fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    totally agree with you there HG

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    phabandphoxy [sign in to see picture]
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    Janny and Mr Sarcastic ... very good and caring advice from you both. I hve a pushy OH who is desperate to try Anal. So we tried playing around at the weekend and I realised he didnt have a clue what he was doing as it was very painful and no lube was used (got caught away in the moment as we were in a 69 position). He told me he had done and experienced it before but from what you are all saying you have to use lube and he didnt and I didnt have a chance to say about it because he just went straight for it. Very uncomfortable moment in time!

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    phabandphoxy wrote:

    Janny and Mr Sarcastic ... very good and caring advice from you both. I hve a pushy OH who is desperate to try Anal. So we tried playing around at the weekend and I realised he didnt have a clue what he was doing as it was very painful and no lube was used (got caught away in the moment as we were in a 69 position). He told me he had done and experienced it before but from what you are all saying you have to use lube and he didnt and I didnt have a chance to say about it because he just went straight for it. Very uncomfortable moment in time!

    and that sort of put's people off what should be a very nice experience ..plonker or what

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    sharry [sign in to see picture]
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    Of course it's a big deal... sorry but he's an insensitive prat! Why not ask him to be the receiver ie) get a dildo and use it on him anally and see how big a deal it is.

    You need to be comfortable and fully relaxed and very turned on to be able to enjoy anal (in my limited expereince anyway). Take it at your own pace not his. There's loads of advice in threads on this forum about starting out. Start off with fingers (or smaller) and plenty of lube and work up to larger things. Take it slowly otherwise you may have a bad experience that will put you off forever.

    He may have had anal sex in the past but don't forget the other person may have been more expereienced with it and their own personal tastes may have leaned more towards it than vaginal. Everyones desires are different.

    All the best and don't let him bully you.

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    kelly_michelle [sign in to see picture]
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    The best thing i can say is do some research. There are some guides and threads on here which are really good. Reading about it may take some of the fear factor away. Anal sex is very different from vaginal sex in the sense that your bum is used to expelling things, not taking them in, so you do need to get yourself used to it. Definitely recommend he try being the receiver, might make him stop and think about what he is doing at least (and hey, he might like it so it could be a way for him to get his anal fix if you aren't keen).

    Also, try experimenting by yourself, with fingers or small toys (make sure they have a flared base or similar so they can't go fully inside you). That way you can guide him a little better.

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    Draig [sign in to see picture]
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    I personally do feel its a big thing, its a really diferent type of orgasim. I find it stronger hence more enjoyable then V ones. My OH has never been pushie about it (if anything its me whos the pushie one) and no one has the right to be. The bit about lube most of the time we dont use it (not recomending that for everyone) we've found if im turned on enough its not needed. But agree with all the posts of get yourself in the right mind set or it aint gonna work, also have a play yourself to get used to the feel of it, it does feel odd when it goes through the first muscle.

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    must admit i dont allways use lube cos of the same thing and she does like it rough and hard sometimes cos she's so turned on

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    Draig [sign in to see picture]
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    exactly my point, when Im in that mood its got to be hard, fast and as rough as he can be. Its part of the excitment

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    Liquidsugar [sign in to see picture]
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    Draig wrote:

    exactly my point, when Im in that mood its got to be hard, fast and as rough as he can be. Its part of the excitment

    I find a bit of spit normally does the job ^-^

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    phabandphoxy [sign in to see picture]
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    a question guys?? Does it eventually stop feeling as if you want to go to the toilet when you slide a finger or vibrator up? I just feel as if I want to go! and another embarassing question for you experienced peeps .... does your bum go back to normal when you are finished having anal or does it stay really large? silly question ... I know... but I like my bum and hole to remain tight and keep stuff in!!

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    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    phabandphoxy wrote:

    a question guys?? Does it eventually stop feeling as if you want to go to the toilet when you slide a finger or vibrator up? I just feel as if I want to go! and another embarassing question for you experienced peeps .... does your bum go back to normal when you are finished having anal or does it stay really large? silly question ... I know... but I like my bum and hole to remain tight and keep stuff in!!

    phabandphoxy there is no such thing as a silly question, and your bum will go back to normal cant answer the other bit because it doesnt make me want to go. But I have regular habits and always leave at least an hour afterwards before having sex

    Hope that helps

    xGGx

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    phabandphoxy [sign in to see picture]
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    ghostgirl wrote:

    phabandphoxy wrote:

    a question guys?? Does it eventually stop feeling as if you want to go to the toilet when you slide a finger or vibrator up? I just feel as if I want to go! and another embarassing question for you experienced peeps .... does your bum go back to normal when you are finished having anal or does it stay really large? silly question ... I know... but I like my bum and hole to remain tight and keep stuff in!!

    phabandphoxy there is no such thing as a silly question, and your bum will go back to normal cant answer the other bit because it doesnt make me want to go. But I have regular habits and always leave at least an hour afterwards before having sex

    Hope that helps

    xGGx

    Thank you for not making me feel silly and thanks for explaining a few things for me ... the going an hour before helps as well and Im glad my wee bum will go back to normal whew!! The thoughts that enter your head eh!

    Thanks again ... Hugs P&P x

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    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    The 'needing to go' thing is mostly psychological: your bum would normally only feel stretched if it was filled with poo, so your brain links the sensation to the about-to-poo alarm. A lot of it is probably tied into your concerns a la the second question. Bear in mind that what feels like a gaping chasm is not necessarily going to leave you with fecal incontinence, even temporarily. If you're concerned that any waste there is just going to fall straight out, you're going to be much more on edge and leap to the loo at the slightest implication that you might have anything on its way out.

    It also depends on if your fella is coming inside you, or if you're using a lot-a-lot of lube, or even if you're one of those who tends to get a decent mucus build-up naturally. The more fluids that are up there sloshing around (because they will be trickling where gravity commands them, even if they're staying behind the door so to speak) will add another stimulus to the already paranoid rectal readings. A lot of it is just getting comfortable with both the feeling of your body after the act, and with the various sensations that are perfectly normal so that you can recognise and distinguish, and let your mind sort the poo from the goo.

    As I mentioend, the stretched sensation is a lot more intense than it actually is. After a good session, you will find your sphyncter muscle is more relaxed (try poking at the area around the anus from the outside, gently, both before and after, it'll be much more squishy and soft). However, it's still 'awake', so you can tense it, and it will naturally convulse if stimulated: that's where some of the plesure during penetration comes from, as well as how it 'locks' waste in against gravity. Bear in mind how, even once good and stretched, if you tense up, even an average cock or dildo will be uncomfortable. That's because the muscle is still capable of tensing and tightening. If you're playing with super-large toys, then yes, there may be enough of a stretch that temporarily you'll be looser than would be ideal, but if you are worried, try lying on your stomach or some other position where gravity will work against any waste that might be making its way down, and just relax while your body comes down from the work-out.

    Regardless, that is temporary. There are always horror stories about how someone had anal sex a lot and then ended up in nappies at age 40, but honestly, I've not seen any that weren't 'a friend of a friend of a guy who posted on some random mesage board', and given the number of porn stars who take large toys or multiple cocks on a regular basis, and show no signs of deterioration, I think you'd be hard pushed to create permanent problems as long as you're being sensible about it (ie not stuffing razor blades up there or anything mental).

    If the stretched-out feeling lasts a long time (as in into the next day) or is actually painful, then you might be suffering from not-enough-lube syndrom. I used to never use lube (I know, I know, young and stupid) and, although I got away with it because I'm naturally quite gooey and so had a certain amount of natural mucus to ease things, and I was relaxed enough that there was not so much fighting muscular clenching, I would find that afterwards it felt like someone had shoved a melon up there, and that would take more than a day to go away, all the while being painful to poo, and uncomfortable the rest of the time.

    Sorry! Very long. >_<
    TL;DR = You'll be fine, just relax, calm the paranoia, and check you're using enough lube. x

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    BashfulBabe wrote:

    The 'needing to go' thing is mostly psychological: your bum would normally only feel stretched if it was filled with poo, so your brain links the sensation to the about-to-poo alarm.

    Being a pedant - is it physiological or psychological if stretch receptors in the walls of the rectum are stimulated by the stretch and relay the information across the nervous system giving that sensation?

    I would imagine it's difficult to get away from the feeling of defecation when the stretch receptors are stimulated but you can add precautions (passing a movement not long prior to the event and cleaning thoroughly) to help rest your mind. Although (and forgive me because stretch receptors aren't an area I'm knowledgeable on) I guess it's possible for receptors to become desensitised with time and practise so maybe it does improve?

    Adx

    As for the length of time it takes to feel back to normal - I think BB has got it covered!

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