• Being thankful

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    sexilegs [sign in to see picture]
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    Im not sure if im in the wrong but my partner complains that im never grateful. I think we have great sex, cos we look after each other and he praises me if he enjoyed his blowjob later on , but and im being serious if i have four orgasms in one session, he says i never compliment him or praise him later. I never thought much about it. What do others think?......

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    cuteguyuk [sign in to see picture]
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    as a guy, i'd say he'd love it if you did get 4 orgasms, u should say that was amazing...he'd love it! we men love to know we made the woman cum that much!

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    cuteguyuk [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes Avrielle, you put it very well, it's not thanking that's necessary, just words and actions that make the other person feel wanted!

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    MrSarcastic [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeh saying thank you for sex seems odd and if i had someone saying it all the time if im honest it would drive me batty in the end and asking them why they say it after every session? Sure i would look over at my OH (when i have one) have an awesome smile say i loved her and give her a nice gentle kiss before either falling asleep or snuggling up and chatting and personally i think thats enough. Would i like to hear i gave a woman x orgasms.. sure! But not everytime just everynow and again when she had a REALLY good time.

    I guess some people are just more "needy" than others though... As Avrielle has said maybe you need a chat, or make sure he notices a praise im not too sure cuz im not too fussed lol.

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    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    to be honest, if I ever gave a woman 4 orgasms in a session, I wouldn't be asking for a Thank You. I would fall asleep with a smile on my face after having thanked myself :)

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    He's telling you that he needs some sort of verbal affirmation. It doesn't matter what the rest of us think. He needs to hear it in words from you.

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    cheer_up [sign in to see picture]
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    I've never even really thought about this before.

    If I give him oral or sometimes even after full sex, he'll say "thank you", but if he didn't it wouldn't bother me. I'm actually more into it because he sounds so cute when he says it. I say thank you as well, but that's generally after he's put a lot of time and effort into my pleasure, thereby delaying his own.

    I don't feel the need to say "thank you", I just do, and I doubt he'd care if I didn't. Personally, I'd say the orgasms are praise enough - he must be doing something right!

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    rach74 [sign in to see picture]
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    if after a really good time i will say that was great, fantastic etc but i dont say thank you, to me saying thank you means its more like a chore/job and someone thanking you for doing it, OH used to say it when we first started going out after i gave him oral and i used to get cross, now i hear things like bloody hell that was excellent or just heavy breathing and comment of WOW, which i much prefer than someone saying thank you, i say thank you to OH for putting bins out not giving me orgasms

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    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    I dont do thank you, but I usually pull him close and I kiss him, so I think he knows I enjoyed it (well, I can go loud, so I think he knows I am enjoying myself). When I give him oral, he does not thank me either, just his moans are enough, although he touches my cheek when I do. I really like he does that. We do comment on sex sometimes, when we try something new and we are trying to determine if it is something we should do again.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I always thank my OH...always have, always will. It's nice to show appreciation for the session and it's important especially for us because we've had to come to terms with the fact that I don't get or show satisfaction in the same way as "normal" women. I don't orgasm often and don't enjoy to orgasm often. I get a hell of a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction from giving him a blowjob so I thank him for giving it to me.

    Also having been long distance for so long I'm truly grateful for every session we have. Sure we show each other appreciation with our actions but variety is important so I'll thank him in lots of different ways (rather than just having one habitual way of thanking him that eventually becomes meaningless).

    I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting affirmation and it's important to know that just because a woman orgasms 4 times in a row, it doesn't mean that she had a more pleasurable time than the time she had 1 really intense one.

    The reason my OH and I are such a strong couple is because of our amazing communication and that crosses over into our sex life too...we talk about everything, but because of that he knows exactly how I feel and I know the same of him...there's no second guessing.

    You have to talk to him and explain your way of expressing yourself so he knows what actions to take as gratitude, and you have to respect that sometimes he's going to need something more verbal - tell him to ask you if you enjoyed it if he needs something verbal and you can then thank him in whichever way you feel by saying "yes that was wonderful"or explicitly saying "thank you". There may be a reason he needs you to verbalise your feelings, maybe he had an ex who was great at faking and it's giving him a knock - you need to discuss it further and figure out the best compromise

    All the best

    Adx

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    suze9 [sign in to see picture]
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    The only times 'thank you' has been said in nearly 14 years is if I give him a blow job, not that I ration them out its just that he loves them. After sex we always kiss, always, and I take that as being our unspoken thanks to each other, it could be a big kiss and a simple 'that was great' will be enough to massage his ego. Hope you work something out that will suit both of you xxx

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    sexilegs [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for replying, but he says its not a regular thing he was complaining about but im never ever say it was good. I just enjoy and move on. If i give a blowjob he will say it was good though. Am i just a bitch.

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    MrSarcastic [sign in to see picture]
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    As Avrielle has said your not a bitch, your other half should know that you enjoyed it by your moans, your smile and even your gasping for air when you are done. Like i said it does not bother me if i was not complemented because i know i had a great time and im sure my OH (if i had one) will of done its not hard to tell when someone is happy just looking at them i oftern look at peoples faces and can tell who is happy and who is not.

    Personally do not let it get you down, you have done nothing wrong and should not feel bad, again as Avrielle said you had a moment and then moved on that is life, hell i went to cook chips tonight and the fryer blew up lol it happend moved on... still want chips though lol

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    sovereign [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree that we all enjoy sex and move on. Whatever he does sounds good but a kiss and a hug should be enough.

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    sovereign [sign in to see picture]
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    How does a girl let oh know she enjoyed her loving at that moment. I do find saying i enjoyed it at the time is enough. What others do i dont know. If my girl had four orgasms then i would enjoyed it at the time too and then we kiss and cuddle and maybe fall asleep. Sex is not a serious pleasure but a fun pleasure. Dont take it serious.

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    sovereign [sign in to see picture]
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    sexilegs, how do you feel a about it.. Do you feel you are doing owt wrong or fuck him and ignore him. We are all programmed to feel satisfied and feeling pressure to be grateful or were not. Dont think you are doing what you dont feel naturally doing but are just moving on and not worrying. His problem.....

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Why is a man's need for occassional verbal reassurance and appreciation a 'problem' at all? Why the need to assign blame one direction or the other?

    He's an individual with a unique history and psychology, not a 'should'. And his request is a small thing really, that he gets to hear it in words from time to time. Confident lovers tend to be better lovers. Give him that reassurance - and in a form which works for him - and you may find yourself rewarded for the effort.

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    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    Unless you are a prostitute, sex is not really a business transaction, so don't think it's bitchy. But if you enjoy something you might as well tell your OH? In the same way as if you are wearing a nice dress or whatever he tells you you look really nice?

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    sexilegs [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrille- We started making love to each other the other night and he started complaining and we stopped, something thats never happened before. He says we should not try anything sexual for a week to clear the tention. I complained what about my sex drive and he insisted it would help us both. I see him later and i have my own plans for him, not waiting a week. We live seperate so its not as easy cos we both single parents with kids. I think this thing about never saying owt afterwards might have happened cos if i tell him i love him, he doesnt say it back that often, but he says he does when i complain. We both had partners that hurt us and maybe thats related to this somehow. We will sort this out.

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    YoungEssexCouple [sign in to see picture]
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    I think some guys are like this. I like to know I have done good, one way or another. Remember some guys have very low opinions of themselves as lovers, so might need that affirmation to make them happy.

    I think its a difficult ideology for people to grasp if they have never experienced it themselves, male or female.

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