• Sex banter at work.

    1304618947
    SnL [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2011

    Ok....

    How do you feel about sexual banter or flirting at work? What are your boundaries in the work place? Would you ever let it get physical? What would your reaction be? Who's allowed to do it i.e. boss or colleague?

    I work in a male dominated environment and obviously there is banter which I enjoy and I join in. If it's at the level it is now then I'm happy but I don't know how I would deal with a situation if it went a little further. So just wondering, how would you handle it? Does this happen in your work place?

    Thanks xx

    1304621980
    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 694
    • Joined: 16 Sep 2010

    Well,

    I am in a office based environment.

    Flirting goes on all the time but often it's harmless, just innuendo and nothing more comes off it. Sometimes I raise my eyebrows at it (listening to others) but there's certainly nothing I can't handle. And no-one I'm interested in enough to really flirt with!!

    I've only ever flirted with one person and let it go further and it messed with my head . There was no work based ramifications for what we did or didn't do but to be honest it all depends on other things like being single or not - the same as it would in any relationship really.

    I think relationships between boss/colleague is dangerous but I've never been involved in this or seen anyone else around me get involved with this.

    I also think its difficult sometimes because everyone has a different idea of boundaries and lines; something that is normal to you may be toe-curling and embarrassing to someone else.

    Is someone specifically flirting with you which has got you wondering or have you watched someone else doing it?

    1304626809
    SnL [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2011

    Yes, some things have happened to me when alone with this person (who has the power to fire me but I doubt he would). I do not feel disrespected by him, he's a very nice person and we get on. In all working environments you have to try your best to get along with everyone.

    Today, he gave me a cuddle, this is not unusual. I know he was grateful that I managed to finish a couple of very tight deadlines. Usually, he kisses me on the cheek but it was on my neck, in a naturally sensitive spot.

    I was fine, it wasn't pushed any further but I do not want it to go any further than that! Argh... I like him (in a friend way) but I am not sure how to express my limits in a kind and sensitive manner.

    1304627394
    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 694
    • Joined: 16 Sep 2010

    Hmmm - to me, this would be pushing the boundaries - a kiss on the neck is not acceptable (to me). In fact a cheek would be pushing it but I don't do public displays of affection!

    Perhaps if he tries to do it again you move away so he doesn't "land" if that makes sense?

    1304627809
    SnL [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2011

    I think I am going to opt for moving away motion but I am just worried things may get awkward or nasty. People can act in strange ways from rejection.

    Despite that particular situation, I am going to try to find a new job.

    1304627921
    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 694
    • Joined: 16 Sep 2010

    I can understand that and it's a shame that you're made to feel that way.

    Hopefully if he's friendly with you, he won't take offence and is being friendly in the first place rather than sexual.

    However, if he ever makes you feel uncomfortable or does something you're not happy with you MUST report it x

    1304628045
    Pixieking [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 612
    • Joined: 31 Aug 2010

    I used to have a middle aged female collegue who was Always on in a very funny, overly flirty way with near enough everyone. Most of the team I was with at the time were very open and chatty and laughy about sex and everything else. For a while there was even a ranking in my job of who had the finest arses.

    It was a really good laugh, we never went over any lines. It was just a good laugh in general.

    Course I do think it's a very fine line sometimes, and what some people find funny and be fine with, other people will find deeply offensive or borderline sexual assault. Better to be safe than sorry if you don't know the people very well. I'd never do it with someone who I didn't know really well.

    1304628062
    Satoshi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 249
    • Joined: 15 Dec 2010

    Sexual harassment is never OK, under any circumstances.

    1304628226
    SnL [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2011

    Thanks for the advice btw. I just want to nip it in the bud. Hmm.. Things will be ok if I remain calm and clear with him. I'll try that approach next time as well.

    1304628409
    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 694
    • Joined: 16 Sep 2010

    Can totally see why you'd want to nip it in the bud - if you feel uncomfortable he needs to know it's not acceptable although I know this is easier to say than do

    1304633225
    sexy little minx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 535
    • Joined: 8 Nov 2009

    SnL can understand why you want to nip it in the bud. Honest but in a sensitive way is probably the way I would deal with it. Wish you luck.

    I'm a trained chef which is a male dominated career. Sexual banter in the kitchens is the norm! Usually I would be the only female in the kitchens so had to learn pretty quick to give as good as I got. It never went any further than banter, always fun and as light hearted as sexual banter can be!

    1304635025
    maccess [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 161
    • Joined: 28 Sep 2010

    light sexual banter is ok at work as long as no one gets offended.....

    I am very close to the people who i employ and i am always there to be a shoulder to cry on and yes i do give hugs if called for but that is as far as it goes...

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.