• Journals

    1304021520
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2313
    • Joined: 16 May 2010

    I understand that it's wrong to read anothers but I stumbled across my OH's the other day. I was searching for a picture of me when I was 16 which normally was in it, but it wasn't. It had been about a year since he had used it and at the start of this year it seems he has started to write in it once again.

    I'm slightly annoyed that my picture isn't in there anymore and have no idea how to ask where it is as I wish to view it for personal reasonsd, but that isn't the problem. He had written within it that he feels that I don't love him anymore and am not showing it. I've been trying really hard to be extra romantic etc but he does push me away. I know why partly though, last year he bacame very ill and hass been ill for over 6months now. I'm trying my best to work round it and things but I also have a lot of health issues that make it harder. I've tried romantic games, and he just says he's too ill. I've tried buying him gifts, which has put me back a lot when it comes to buying myself things - though tbh I do like buying him things. Tried gental romantic walks and picnics, the pictures, dates basically. I've tried making romantic coments and saying 'I Love You' etc. so have no idea why he's written this, apart from maybe he's that down.

    Well other than that he's now blaming me for how much wieght he's put on, when it's not my fault I blanance meals right and encourage him to do things to lose weight. I think part of that has came on because I've started to lose a lot of wieght for no reason and am now fitter than him (he's a sports teacher).

    Anyway enough of my ramble, sure it'll sort itself out.

    Has anyone every came across their partners journal and found something you never expected?

    1304021878
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2007
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    sorry to hear abut your situation hun *hugs*

    As you know i blog. during my last fling i got really annoyed at the other person and the mind games they were playing, so blogged about it. they found the entry and went off in a huff. i'd told them about the blog and how i was honest on it, that there would be stuff on there that was frank and honest and that they might not be keen on, that i anonomyse those i write about and their identity is pretty safe.

    But it proved me right about the mind games they played because it stepped up an awful lot when they found the blog entry.

    1304022480
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3512
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    I'm sorry you're having a rough time sweet!

    It does sound like he's worked himself up in his mind and is looking inwards so much that he's not really paying that much attention to yourself. It's hard to come to terms with a change in health and initially it's easy to become self centred during the process. After 6 months he might need encouraging to learn how to deal with his change in health in a (for want of a better word) healthier way. It can require a bit of a kick up the bum to realise that he's not the only one struggling and you're not the only one who should be putting the effort in. How best to adminster that kick up the bum though, I couldn't say - we all respond to different tactics.

    As for your last question - I'd never read anything private of WandA's and never would just because 1) I know how much privacy means to him and I completely respect that and 2) he'd always tell me if something changed - he'd tell me in his own time, after some consideration, but he would tell me so we could discuss the problem and hopefully resolve it before he makes it into a bigger deal in his head than it needs to be. But I realise I'm lucky that he's so uber rational and wouldn't let his emotions cloud his rationale for me and us.

    Adx

    1304023777
    Booties [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 282
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2010

    I'm sorry about what's going on with you... And about how you found out!

    I'm sure he's just feeling down... When I get depressed and such, I often get upset and start wondering if my OH still loves me, if our relationship will last, if I'm truly happy, etc.
    I really hope things get better between you, as accepting that relationships have run their course and just giving up is not always the easiest thing to do. Hopefully this is just a rough patch for you guys!

    Whenever I get into one of these ruts, as it sounds like your OH is, I try to do something spontaneous and new. Make it feel like we're lovesick teenagers again. I'll write him funny little lovenotes and stick them places, tell him we're popping to the shops, but then go to the beach to watch the sun set, look through old letters/texts/photos together... Buy tickets places, run about stupidly underdressed in the rain together... Whatever! I think it's highly possible that a relationship can be the cause of weight gain. It's not your fault... But if he feels unloved and miserable and stuck in a routine, he could well be binging and not in the mood to work-out. Do you do any sports together? That could kill two birds with one stone...

    Anyway, sorry, I know you didn't ask for advice. Just giving my opinion, because I can't keep it to myself... Must practice that!

    As for the diary-finding... I asked my OH if I could read his one time for laughs, and he agreed, but I then found some really upsetting things in there which basically suggested he was using me for sex... He was horrified when he realised that he'd written these things, and I've come past it now, luckily. Thinking about it is upsetting though, of course!

    One of my best friends also found an old diary of mine from before I lost my virginity (=O) though, and I really shouldn't have let her read it! She fell about the floor laughing in shock at my vivid descriptions of blowjobs and dry humping. I never kept a diary again xD

    1304024411
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2313
    • Joined: 16 May 2010

    Booties wrote:

    I'm sorry about what's going on with you... And about how you found out!

    I'm sure he's just feeling down... When I get depressed and such, I often get upset and start wondering if my OH still loves me, if our relationship will last, if I'm truly happy, etc.
    I really hope things get better between you, as accepting that relationships have run their course and just giving up is not always the easiest thing to do. Hopefully this is just a rough patch for you guys!

    Whenever I get into one of these ruts, as it sounds like your OH is, I try to do something spontaneous and new. Make it feel like we're lovesick teenagers again. I'll write him funny little lovenotes and stick them places, tell him we're popping to the shops, but then go to the beach to watch the sun set, look through old letters/texts/photos together... Buy tickets places, run about stupidly underdressed in the rain together... Whatever! I think it's highly possible that a relationship can be the cause of weight gain. It's not your fault... But if he feels unloved and miserable and stuck in a routine, he could well be binging and not in the mood to work-out. Do you do any sports together? That could kill two birds with one stone...

    Anyway, sorry, I know you didn't ask for advice. Just giving my opinion, because I can't keep it to myself... Must practice that!

    As for the diary-finding... I asked my OH if I could read his one time for laughs, and he agreed, but I then found some really upsetting things in there which basically suggested he was using me for sex... He was horrified when he realised that he'd written these things, and I've come past it now, luckily. Thinking about it is upsetting though, of course!

    One of my best friends also found an old diary of mine from before I lost my virginity (=O) though, and I really shouldn't have let her read it! She fell about the floor laughing in shock at my vivid descriptions of blowjobs and dry humping. I never kept a diary again xD

    Hey Booties, I've tried being random and changing plans but he just moans about it days after. I did sayy 'lets go to the shops' and changed the plans to watch the full moon last month and he just moaned. I guess I was just being selfish as I wanted to look at the moon. I've left notes from romantic to funny a good mix (not my fault but if there's an amusing stuffed animal sometimes it needs a funny post-it).

    Oh we kind of do sports together, We both fight not in a bad way but train together but this has became less. It use to be fun play fighting tbh and get us both wotrked up in romantic and sexual ways. JUst like to say we never hurt each other through these fights they were for training moves etc. It's like he use to sweep me and my heart would beat so hard I would think I'd get hurt, he use to always gently catch me a few inches from the ground. Other sports he doesn't seem to like though :/

    I don't really want it to end though as I feel I owe him partly, he took me in at 16 and then looked after me for a year when I was bed ridden. So I want to stay a bit longer and hope it'll get better.

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