• Multiple/Serial Female Orgasms

    1303429370
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm interested to hear about women's experiences of multiple/serial orgasms and how to maximise enjoyment of them.

    Over the years that we've been married, my wife has gradually found that she's more and more able to have multiple orgasms (repeats after a few minutes) and even serial orgasms (waves of overlapping orgasms) via clitoral stimulation -- typically using a vibrator to keep her going after cumming initially. This is great, of course, but she finds that her ability to have the orgasms and her enjoyment of them varies considerably, with no obvious reason why.

    I guess this variation might just be one of those mysteries of life, but I'm keen to help as much as I can to maximise her pleasure -- not least because I find her gorgeous to watch when she's in full flow. I try to assist my wife by setting up a romantic atmosphere before warming her up and then, when she's using the vibe, caressing her, talking sweetly to her and, if her position allows, penetrating her periodically (which she really loves in conjunction with the clitoral stimulation).

    On occasions, this works spectacularly well. My wife moves through stages of relaxing warmness to greater arousal, and from electric sensitivity to red-heat, followed by telltale blushing around her neck and on her face, accompanied by rapid breathing and expressions that hint at the glorious sensations that she feels. After several rounds of this build-up, she cums for the first time. At this point, if she's in the mood, then she maintains the clitoral stimulation (perhaps on a reduced setting) and will often be rewarded by another deeper orgasm a few minutes later. If she continues, then successive orgasms follow at shorter intervals and sometimes merge into each other. Once my wife feels spent, she removes the vibrator and invites me to have my wicked way with her. By then, I'm usually in a complete frenzy, so I'll jump on her to pump and pound her hard to our mutual delight, which often delivers a final body-shaking orgasm to her to finish things off. It's amazing when it works out this way.

    More often, though, things don't work out this way. Sometimes my wife's first orgasm doesn't arrive, or is weak, or subsequent ones are elusive, even though we both feel turned on and in the mood. At other times, my wife quickly feels turned off the idea of having an orgasm at all, and we revert to cuddling and penetration just to satisfy me -- which is still nice, but obviously not what we were aiming for.

    Does this description sound familiar? If so, should we just accept that our mileage will vary, or are there other things that we can try to be more consistent? I'd be very grateful to hear other accounts of how things work out, confirmations that we're not unusal or, indeed, any magic suggestions. I promise to report back with any significant news!

    As I've explained elsewhere, my experience is very limited, so if I'm asking naïve or silly questions then please be gentle with me!

    1303431411
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,

    I cannot tell you much about multiple orgasms, as I just hate having my clitoris touched after one and I need some time to actually enjoy the touch again. But on general level, my orgasms do vary, often a lot, in strenght. I am not on pill and I am finding that it actually also depends on my hormonal levels, plus amount of stress, also after few days of nothing it is usually stronger. But there can be many reasons! Varying intensity of orgasms is I would say completely normal thing.

    1303439892
    silverdrop [sign in to see picture]
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    I've always been multi-orgasmic, but your wife's experience sounds pretty typical to me. Sometimes I can come again easily, sometimes not. More practice will help, and of course, with sex, practice is its own reward.

    I'd recommend trying two things though - working on her G-spot, and Play-O orgasm gel. I find that G-spot orgasms are more intense for me and more likely to be serial, and once she's going with that, intercourse is likely to just keep that going.

    As for Play O gel, it doesn't work for everyone, but for me, it gets me so aroused, I'm pretty much out of control - which of course, my partner loves. You can have a look through the other female orgasm enhancers as well. Rocket Balm is pretty popular too, though I haven't tried it.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/buyers-guide/female-orgasm-boosters/

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14886

    1303445942
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    I am pretty similar to your wife in some respects. I can have a fairly strong orgasm through clitoral stimulation in under three minuetes if it's the right type of touch. Most of the time my orgams start out stronger and get weaker though, and i do need a few minuetes before i can be touched or penetrated again.

    Obviously there are many things that affect the ability to orgasm. mental issues can effect it even if it's not clear that they are there. Any stress or change in hormone levels will also be a hinderence to ablitiy to orgasm

    All in all it's a pretty normal situation that you are in so I wouldnt worry too much about it.

    1303489857
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Many thanks for those replies. I really appreciate your advice, as otherwise I don't have the experience of any other women to compare with my wife. It's very reassuring to hear (as I rather expected) that there's quite a bit of natural variation, and therefore that I'm probably not doing too much wrong if it works out well at least some of the time.

    Having re-read my original posting, I realise that it might make me sound a bit controlling or over-anxious. It's not quite that way. My wife is not very adventurous in herself, although she's usually prepared to try out my suggestions. It's been very satisfying for me over the years that we've been married to introduce her to new concepts -- for example, vibrators, which opened up a whole new dimension of pleasurable experiences for her. However, this means that I feel somewhat responsible for making the running with our activities, and whilst we're both fairly satisfied with the way that things are, I'm always keen to pick up extra tips for our ongoing voyage of mutual discovery. Sometimes, I feel a little inadequate about not having previous experience with other women to fall back on -- hence this thread.

    silverdrop wrote:

    I'd recommend trying two things though - working on her G-spot, and Play-O orgasm gel. I find that G-spot orgasms are more intense for me and more likely to be serial, and once she's going with that, intercourse is likely to just keep that going.

    As for Play O gel, it doesn't work for everyone, but for me, it gets me so aroused, I'm pretty much out of control - which of course, my partner loves. You can have a look through the other female orgasm enhancers as well. Rocket Balm is pretty popular too, though I haven't tried it.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/buyers-guide/female-orgasm-boosters/

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14886

    Those sound like great ideas! Many thanks. I'm excited already!

    I'm going to need a bit of help with the G-spot, though. I've tried to work on it (following the instructions about getting my wife to lie on her back, with me then inserting a pair of fingers and then bending them upwards to stroke gently inside) but all that happened even after several minutes was that a bemused expression appeared on my wife's face. She didn't know how it was supposed to feel, and I was fumbling around in the dark with little idea what I was doing. In a way, it was comical, but I could also have cried.

    Should I consider getting a specific toy to stimulate my wife's G-spot, or can my fingers be trained to do the job? Once again, I'll be very grateful for any pointers -- cheers!

    1303491265
    silverdrop [sign in to see picture]
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    There are a lot of good g-spot articles in the Lovehoney blog. G-spot vibrators are great, but vary widely - maybe you could look over the selection with your wife and let her pick one out?

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/?q=g-spot

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2007/09/23/advanced-tips-for-finding-your-g-spot/

    1303491451
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/311934-a-how-to-guide-to-squirting-i-hope-it-helps/

    This thread is an excellent "guide" to squirting and g spot stimulation. It may prove useful.

    I think it's quite fair to state that all women are different and their orgasms differ. I'm quite consistent in having an orgasm quite intensely and quickly after some time but it really does vary overall.

    I'd suggest experimenting together on what feels "good" to eachother. I think also, aiming for the elusive OMG orgasm can be counter-productive as it can take the fun out of the act itself. Also- the steamy sessions can be seen as the top goal but the romantic moments can play a big part in getting the atmosphere right.

    Just keep exploring and experimenting. Have fun too. =]

    Also, I'm not to sure how experienced you are with sex toys but I'd recommend this great value bumper pack as a starting point: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15585 LIttle things can make a big difference. =]

    1303504864
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Also there are many articles as how G spot orgasm is the best experience for woman, but I think you should also keep in mind that every women is different, some may squirt, when having G-spot stimulated, some just dont feel much, if anything when stimulated there. also I had more luck with a vibrator in the search, as the fingers did not put the right pressure on it and it was actually playing with it on the lowest setting when I hit gold,. Still it does extremely little to me, its pleasant, but there is no way I would orgasm from it, no matter how aroused I am. Its very mild pleasure, but it is to certain extend more deep then the one from clitoris, still I would never orgasm just this way.

    Good luck and its about fun. If G spot does not prove to be the "gold hit", it is not the end of the world. I think that you are enjoying sex anyway and thats the most important thing.

    1303509210
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Many thanks once again for those very helpful replies.

    I've read the G-spot articles and checked out the range of toys. I'm feeling excited already at the thought of exploring this option again. Maybe we can be more successful this time round!

    I'm wondering whether my wife might already have experienced some G-spot action without realising it. Sometimes, her dual-action Rabbit vibrator seems to do a better job of producing follow-up orgasms than an external clitoral vibe -- is it possible that the shaft is working some magic on her G-spot? My wife doesn't make this association: she says that the rotation and vibration of the Rabbit shaft doesn't do anything apart from (and this may be significant!) making her want to pee. That's why she assumes that she only needs the clitoral vibe.

    Hopefully I can strike the right balance of encouraging my wife without pressurising her too much to select and try out a proper G-spot vibrator (after going to the toilet!), and to be open-minded about the feelings that she may get from it at first. I understand from your diverse experiences that mileage varies considerably between women, but it sounds as if there's a chance that my wife is missing out on some G-spot and squirting fun -- and I am too!

    Conveniently, my wife is currently out of action (time of the month!), so we have a few days to talk this through and, if my wife agrees, to select and purchase a toy without any timing pressure.

    Thanks once again! Any further thoughts still greatly appreciated.

    1303513515
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Conveniently, my wife is currently out of action (time of the month!), so we have a few days to talk this through and, if my wife agrees, to select and purchase a toy without any timing pressure.

    Now, thats the time of the month when my OH is in the greatest danger of getting too much action

    And yes, there is a chance she may squirt, but I think only minority actually does, and not every woman can actually have only G spot orgams, even though they like it, some do need clitoral stimulation as well, you will have to find out what works best for you and it is possible she will still need the clitoral vibe to get there! But the need to pee feeling may suggest that she is getting it stimulated, although I dont feel the need to pee really after the initial time. But my vibrator is not rotating, and its rather soft and firm at the same time and I just hold it in the place. Also I personally do feel pleasure, not just need to pee, so although the G-spot may be getting stimulated, it may not be really overhelming feeling. Plus as it is sometimes only, there can be other causes for this. I can actually feel variation even in my need for vibration strenght - sometimes I need stronger and just crank it up to the highest setting, but sometimes I just find that one too uncomfortable and I go lower. Also battery power can make a difference. I think the only chance to be sure is actually to find the spot and see what it can do for your wife. Noone can give you definite answer for that.

    Maybe get a toy which does not rotate? Some G spot vibrator, which you can use as a dildo as well, if you dont switch it on? It may make it easier than rotating head of a rabbit.

    But I am not expert on G spot stimulation. I actually found mine about month ago or so by complete chance.

    1303568961
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Laveila wrote:

    Now, thats the time of the month when my OH is in the greatest danger of getting too much action

    Oooh... that's interesting! My wife is worried by the idea of doing anything during that time because it seems messy to her. It's not something that bothers me (I think good sex should be messy!) but we've always abstained on that basis. Should we have a re-think? Of course, it's different if things are particularly heavy or painful for her during that time.

    I'm a bit biased because my libido goes off the scale at these times of denial. My wife understands this and often gives me a hand (so to speak) with pleasuring myself in the evenings with further stimulation from my collection of sexy photos of her, our video of her masturbating, or something from our porn stash. It's also a time when my imagination runs riot and I 'fess up to my wife about the fantasies that I've been having and the wicked things that I'd like to do to her. (I'll probably deny it all out of in embarrassment when she teases me days later about what I said)

    Laveila wrote:

    Maybe get a toy which does not rotate? Some G spot vibrator, which you can use as a dildo as well, if you dont switch it on? It may make it easier than rotating head of a rabbit.

    That's what I've been thinking. Perhaps one of the wands that give a reliable and steady stimulation, and which are straightforward to hold and keep in the right place.

    Many thanks for your thoughts.

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    silverdrop [sign in to see picture]
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    How about when you buy the toy for your wife, you add a stroker or a Tenga egg for yourself?

    1303572554
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Oooh! I've never bought any toys for myself (or, more specifically, for use on myself).

    1303575929
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Cuddly Hubby wrote:

    Laveila wrote:

    Now, thats the time of the month when my OH is in the greatest danger of getting too much action

    Oooh... that's interesting! My wife is worried by the idea of doing anything during that time because it seems messy to her. It's not something that bothers me (I think good sex should be messy!) but we've always abstained on that basis. Should we have a re-think? Of course, it's different if things are particularly heavy or painful for her during that time.

    I'm a bit biased because my libido goes off the scale at these times of denial. My wife understands this and often gives me a hand (so to speak) with pleasuring myself in the evenings with further stimulation from my collection of sexy photos of her, our video of her masturbating, or something from our porn stash. It's also a time when my imagination runs riot and I 'fess up to my wife about the fantasies that I've been having and the wicked things that I'd like to do to her. (I'll probably deny it all out of in embarrassment when she teases me days later about what I said)

    Well, I am not on a pill and I have normal hormonal circle, which means my libido does change through it. And although I can be in lot of pain, if I cut the pain out or after the worst is over, my libido is just extremely high. We dont do it if that particular period is very strong, but if its not so strong, we go for it. And I have to admit my major problem was the messeness and how my partner would react. Otherwise I was up for it. Just make sure you have some older towel handy to protect the sheets and I do have shower before we really start and we have another afterwards.

    Cuddly Hubby wrote:

    Oooh! I've never bought any toys for myself (or, more specifically, for use on myself).

    Well, consider it. May give you some nice sensations. I just personally bought a massage candle to try with my partner (a surprise for him, he has no idea whats coming).

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    silverdrop [sign in to see picture]
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    Cuddly Hubby wrote:

    Oooh! I've never bought any toys for myself (or, more specifically, for use on myself).

    Do it do it dooooo it!

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    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Also there is a sale going on, ideal time to get some bargains! Although the choice for men toys is not great, you can have a look at other categories.

    1303586746
    silverdrop [sign in to see picture]
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    silverdrop wrote:

    I haven't seen these in the newsletter or the Special Offers page, but they're sneakily hiding on some of the product pages. It looks like they may be Bank Holiday only deals.

    Three toys for £10: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/special-offers/687/

    Three toys for £25: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/special-offers/688/

    Three toys for £50: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/special-offers/689/

    Maybe you and your wife can make use one of these offers to get a his toy, a hers toy, and something romantic to use together.

    1303594776
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    Laveila wrote:

    Well, consider it. May give you some nice sensations.

    silverdrop wrote:

    Do it do it dooooo it!

    Wow! Thanks for your encouragement! I'm getting rather worked up thinking about the idea now.

    It'll be great if my wife and I can figure out a joint purchase in the sale which covers both of our needs. Thanks for those pointers. I'll report back in due course!

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    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    I've just remembered that we have a "G-spotter" attachment which was bundled with a Hitachi Magic Wand that we purchased years ago. I'm not sure whether this link to a photo will work:

    http://www.the-hitachi-magic-wand.com/25-97-thickbox/hitachi-magic-wand-g-spotter-vibrator-attachment-g-spotter.jpg

    My wife's immediate reaction to it was "I'm not putting that weird thing inside me!", so we never pursued it. I can see her point (it's hardly the most appealing shape and colour!), but I wonder now whether it might be a good way to work steadily on her G-spot -- perhaps after an initial orgasm from clitoral stimulation.

    I need to demonstrate my ignorance here again, as the attachment didn't come with any instructions. I assume that the way to use this is to insert the curved arm so that it bends upwards towards my wife's front. The arm is about 3 inches long, so I assume that it'll need to go in most of the way, but with a bit of experimentation back and forth after that to find the right spot. Would it help for me to do some reconnaisance with my fingers first?

    I hope our Magic Wand still works! We haven't used it for ages because we found the need to plug it into the mains rather limiting. There's also a scary bit in the instructions that suggests that the Wand can only be used for 15 minutes before needing to cool down, or else the motor might burn out. That's usually more than enough to provoke a first orgasm, but isn't ideal for multiples. I don't think my wife would be happy if I had to switch it off in the middle of build-up to a great climax!

    1303914621
    Cuddly Hubby [sign in to see picture]
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    One more follow-up! Based on the advice in this thread, I have just ordered the following items for my wife:

    Durex Play O Female Orgasm Gel -- http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14886

    Cupid's G-spot Smoothie Vibrator (purple) -- http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14134

    The shape of the second one is amazing! I'm looking forward to watching my wife freak out when she sees it.

    Now I'm just hoping that we can find some quality playtime on our own over the next few days to investigate thoroughly the capabilities of these purchases. It'll be great if I can report back to the people who kindly replied to my question that their advice gets a from us!

    Oh... and I also ordered this for myself:

    Tracey Cox Supersex Sensation Stroker (clear) -- http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20020

    I had almost made up my mind to buy it after being egged on by Laveila and silverdrop, and I was lured by the prospect of a free delivery upgrade, but I must admit that the final selling point was seeing Lovehoney - Annabelle play with it in the product video.

    Thanks again everybody!

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