• Anal after trauma touchy subject

    1300116447
    Chessriiah [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 30 Jun 2006

    Hi, am new here and was looking for some advice. About 10 years ago, I was attacked both vaginally and anally. Now, 10 years on, Anal is starting to interest me again, although I m nervous because of obvious reasons Would anyone have any helpful suggestions to try to create a more positive experience? I am aware of basic knowledge as in hygiene etc but other details would be appreciated. Many Thanks

    x

    1300116619
    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 5 Feb 2011

    Maybe with fingers at first - since the feel from a toy and from a real person is totally different on an emotional level at least for me.

    1300117334
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3512
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    As menyanthe suggested fingers is a good place to start.

    It's important that you are with someone you can trust completely and you can be completely honest with if you're finding it difficult. Plus I'd advise starting alone with fingers and toys so you can experience it as a positive and pleasurable experience.

    I'd suggest starting with loads of lube and just using your fingers to stimulate the entrance as you receive pleasure in another way (such as from your own fingers or vibrator on the clitoris) and learn how you feel about the added sensation.

    Anal sex will always be a little painful to begin with but you need to work up from something small before you'll be anywhere near ready for a penis! Anal toys are a great intermediary working up from fingers.

    Remember to wash well just before (plain soap and water should be enough) and wash your hands very well after, keeping some alcohol gel and baby wipes close at hand will help too. For full anal sex you may want to use an anal douche but that shouldn't be necessary with smaller toys/fingers.

    Just make sure you take your time, go at your own pace, build up slowly and enjoy it for the pleasure. Don't make a goal out of it and don't worry if you can only go so far.

    Oh and remember - you can never have enough lube for anal play, just keep on adding it!

    Adx

    1300657822
    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 731
    • Joined: 9 Aug 2010

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    As menyanthe suggested fingers is a good place to start.

    It's important that you are with someone you can trust completely and you can be completely honest with if you're finding it difficult. Plus I'd advise starting alone with fingers and toys so you can experience it as a positive and pleasurable experience.

    I'd suggest starting with loads of lube and just using your fingers to stimulate the entrance as you receive pleasure in another way (such as from your own fingers or vibrator on the clitoris) and learn how you feel about the added sensation.

    Anal sex will always be a little painful to begin with but you need to work up from something small before you'll be anywhere near ready for a penis! Anal toys are a great intermediary working up from fingers.

    Remember to wash well just before (plain soap and water should be enough) and wash your hands very well after, keeping some alcohol gel and baby wipes close at hand will help too. For full anal sex you may want to use an anal douche but that shouldn't be necessary with smaller toys/fingers.

    Just make sure you take your time, go at your own pace, build up slowly and enjoy it for the pleasure. Don't make a goal out of it and don't worry if you can only go so far.

    Oh and remember - you can never have enough lube for anal play, just keep on adding it!

    Adx

    Can only agree with Ad. I would say try it on yourself first... fingers and lube :)

    Then if you are not in a trusting relationship, wait unti you are and go from there....

    1300665164
    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 573
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2010

    I was in a very bad relationship for a number of years and it has taken a long time for me to be in the place to totally trust a man again.

    Now I fully enjoy an amazing sex life but this has only come about by being totally honest about how I feel and the things I enjoy and the things I don't.

    Even now every now and then I find he will do something at I dislike or not fully comfortable with, instead of freaking out (something I use to be very good at!) now I am able to say "oh not there not" or "Oh not keen"

    The trust and communciation we have enables him to know what I mean and I am left feeling totally safe able to continue enjoying what we are doing.

    Make sure you are comfortable, relaxed and enjoying all that you are doing.

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