Finding it hard to orgasm

I don't know what it is because I've tried everything but recently I've found it reeeally hard to come... any tips?

I find a combination of a good strong vibritor and a 'cyberflicker' egg on the clit a great combo. Also if you have not tried the O my clitoral gel apply for your free sample - it doesn't work for everyone but when it does then it really works!

Good luck!

Try relaxing, give yourself time ,and don't get too stressed because that will certainly dampen your ability.

i can sympathise.. i've tried pretty much everything aswell and still no reaction! and when I feel like theres a chance I could be anywhere near close.. my males aching/out of action from trying for such a long time!

My advice is:

1) Don't try too hard. Personally, I find that if I'm too focused on having an orgasm it becomes almost impossible and if it does happen it's not all that great.

2) It's a matter of finding out what works for *you*. Personally, I need strong clitoral stimulation, preferably combined with either anal or vaginal penetration.

Everyone's different, but experimentation and patience are the keys. :)

Good luck!

You must relax and let it come to you. Before you can come in the body you have to be able to come in the mind. Take the pressure of yourself and stop caring about it and it just might start to happen.
Hope you succeed S bst

Sorry just read your profile and it does occur that maybe you aren't as gay as you think you are. Have you thought of trying a real man to find out? No offence meant (trying to be helpful)

I too, seemed like forever before I had my first orgasm nearly 2 years ago. Ever since I've had maybe 10-15 while riding on top. Must be whenever he hits my g-spot and I ride away, she's please. But I am open to any sugguestions or replies that anyone may have. By the way, where do you go for the free samples. I was reading some posts and am interested in trying anything new to enhance my sexual experience.

Miss Kitty wrote:

I find a combination of a good strong vibritor and a 'cyberflicker' egg on the clit a great combo. Also if you have not tried the O my clitoral gel apply for your free sample - it doesn't work for everyone but when it does then it really works!

Good luck!

I know this was posted a long time ago but can you still get the free sample? I've just tried the flower balm and it's amazing!!!!

ooo freebies! From where?

Try to relax and concentrate on whats going on and enjoying it rather than thinking about orgasming as i find if you think about it too much you wont get there. Good luck x

*Emma* wrote:

ooo freebies! From where?

Try to relax and concentrate on whats going on and enjoying it rather than thinking about orgasming as i find if you think about it too much you wont get there. Good luck x

http://www.magicfreebiesuk.co.uk/index.php

Just lots of free stuff... not the stuff someone else mentioned sorry!

 maybe a male view point won't go down well on this thread, but thanks to Tigerlilies, i am feeling brave enough to risk it. read my post on the squirting thread the long one. 

as a man who has taught him self to have multiple  full body orgasms, multiple anal orgasms, multiple in the head orgasms,  as well as the typical male groin orgasm. the one shot and your'e done kind, do i deserve a read.

the relax and let it happen, advice is sound from my view point too, the harder you try to do it the harder it is to do it is true, up to a point. if that doesn't work for you. try this.

think of an orgasm as a bomb made of sexual energy, sex is 99 percent mental. physical stimulation is only part of the equation, mental stimulation, is much neglected from what i can gather form hearing people talk the typical male, gathers mental stim mostly from his eyes, thats why he likes sexy undies and staring at breasts. i would put odds on the fact that women are more turned on by things they hear said to them than things they see. help me out hear girls im only guessing from observations. so if im om the money getting your OH half to be more vocal to say the things that turn you on, would increase the flow of sexual energy, more foreplay but mental, even the day before or longer, builds things further. let your self be teased to distraction when you can. the more you are climbing the walls with anticipation the better. read my post on foreplay. 

you know what makes you tick in terms of what does it best for you, then you are not aware that you are generation sexual energy so you either know instinctively what to do with it, and orgasm or don't and try to force it in the wrong direction, the typical male forces all is sexual energy down through is body and out of his penis as he comes, faster more powerful ejaculation is the result. and all sexual energy is lost in one quick blast. a woman forcing her energy in this way will not achieve sufficient energy release it will just drain away no orgasm.

learn to feel the energy in the sensations you like, and do one of two things with it draw it off when the wave comes, and pull it up in to your stomach area, when you feel full to bursting with this energy, just let go of it and it will explode inside your body like a bomb open your self up an let it blast into every corner of your body even your head. thats a full body orgasm, the most difficult to master, but the most spectacular orgasm.

for the in the head orgasm, which was easier for me to master, catch the same waves of energy and channel them along the nerve path ways that take sensory signals to the brain from the inner thigh and anal genital areas, up to the inside of the back of the head. from the vagina, over the anus take waves from there if you feel them, down and round and let them climb the skin over your spine and up into the head. then as before when you feel enough energy there let go of it, and let the bomb off, find your hair latter. in both cases relax the mind as you let go and your body will go into muscular spasm, let it its part of the fireworks, i find holding your breath for a second or two as your orgasm ignites,  stops it going off like a damp firework.   have fun 

it's up to you now what have you got to loose, if your'e struggling to orgasm anyway. 

im interested to know what all the women on the forum make of this one, Tigerliles.  

 Ps why have the women on here all but abandoned this thread after just a few postings

Crumbs, Alone4ever, you sound like a tantric guru.

I truly believe orgasms exist on a spectrum. It can be easy for the majority of us to get that quick fix, no muss no fuss number, but it's much harder to chase that more elusive, holy-cow-I-just-had-a-vision, kind of orgasm.

I think this thread got neglecte because the topic is very broad and there are many threads that dissect how to get to orgasm heaven in many different ways.

I really like your image of sexual energy as a bomb, Alone4ever. I sometimes get similar 'build-up' images in my head. You know those strength testers you get at fair grounds where you whack a platform with a hammer and a marker climbs up a chart? That's kind of how some of my orgasm journeys feel. Sometimes the marker slides back down but if I catch it quickly I can 'whack' it back up there. A kind of 3 steps forward, 1 step back affair. Then eventually I reach the target and the lights go beserk and I win a cuddly toy. Awesome.

You take on eneergy reminds me of surfing a bit, Alone4ever, and I find those really satisfying orgasms do kind of feel like a balancing act some times. Disciplined and tricky to master but so worth the pay off.

Tigerlilies wrote:

You know those strength testers you get at fair grounds where you whack a platform with a hammer and a marker climbs up a chart? That's kind of how some of my orgasm journeys feel. Sometimes the marker slides back down but if I catch it quickly I can 'whack' it back up there. A kind of 3 steps forward, 1 step back affair. Then eventually I reach the target and the lights go berserk and I win a cuddly toy. Awesome.

Best nonsensical description of orgasm ever! Better than winning a coconut any hows!

Ding Ding Ding!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0PamtXZO70

WandA wrote:

Tigerlilies wrote:

You know those strength testers you get at fair grounds where you whack a platform with a hammer and a marker climbs up a chart? That's kind of how some of my orgasm journeys feel. Sometimes the marker slides back down but if I catch it quickly I can 'whack' it back up there. A kind of 3 steps forward, 1 step back affair. Then eventually I reach the target and the lights go berserk and I win a cuddly toy. Awesome.

Best nonsensical description of orgasm ever! Better than winning a coconut any hows!

Ding Ding Ding!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0PamtXZO70

Oh my goodnes, you've given me an epiphany. Disco my very well be the soundtrack to certain kinds of orgasm.

Other kinds are better twinned with harmonising choirs in beautiful, Italian Cathedrals.

Hiya i was thinking of posting my own thread on this but i'll comment here instead...

Im getting quite concerned recently and ive got two theories, im wondering if anyone can help....

basically me and my partner have been together almost 11months and i've been living with him for about the past 3 months.. we still have sex regularly but every now and again we have a no sex phase for a few weeks, anyway there was a point where i could orgasm anything up to 12 times in one day! (it was fantastic!) but now im starting to struggle a lot more than usual to even have one :s

My theories..

1). i've recently started using a vibrator and had a little "alone time" which im worried is going to ruin my sex life with my partner as im concerned i may be getting used to the vibrations and maybe now this is the only thing that can bring me to orgasm? :S i really hope not!

2). ive just started on some new tablets and on the common side effects section it does mention women may have trouble reaching orgasm :| (i know i did consider just not taking them because of this side effect but i do have to give them a good go before i can knock them) however because i have managed it by myself im thinking this may not be the case

or maybe its a mixture of both?

Any tips/advice? any would be very much apprechiated!!

thankyou x

Loves huni wrote:

Hiya i was thinking of posting my own thread on this but i'll comment here instead...

Im getting quite concerned recently and ive got two theories, im wondering if anyone can help....

basically me and my partner have been together almost 11months and i've been living with him for about the past 3 months.. we still have sex regularly but every now and again we have a no sex phase for a few weeks, anyway there was a point where i could orgasm anything up to 12 times in one day! (it was fantastic!) but now im starting to struggle a lot more than usual to even have one :s

My theories..

1). i've recently started using a vibrator and had a little "alone time" which im worried is going to ruin my sex life with my partner as im concerned i may be getting used to the vibrations and maybe now this is the only thing that can bring me to orgasm? :S i really hope not!

2). ive just started on some new tablets and on the common side effects section it does mention women may have trouble reaching orgasm :| (i know i did consider just not taking them because of this side effect but i do have to give them a good go before i can knock them) however because i have managed it by myself im thinking this may not be the case

or maybe its a mixture of both?

Any tips/advice? any would be very much apprechiated!!

thankyou x

Hiya!

Difficulty orgasming could be a result of stress so if there's things going on in your life that are causing you to feel pressured or unhappy etc. I'd definately recommend trying to make some changes so you feel more relaxed and happy generally.

I'd maybe have a chat with your GP to see if they can find you some different medicine that does the same job but without that particular side effect.

If vibrations get you off during masturbation I'd say bring them in to your couple's play with some toys:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14504

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14042

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14876

Hope this vaguely helps!

xxKPxx

vibrations do not dull sensitivity perminantly either, so i wouldnt worry on that note either

thankyou! i was getting worried that if i started to use it more (once i get it replaced for blowing up on me!) that i may just not be able to orgasm with my oh anymore, but i think i just need to relax again ive got so much stress atm i feel like its gonna kill me! :/ but hopefully it'll pass ive tried planning a romantic night in with cvandles etc but whta ever i plan always goes tits up somehow and i end up getting upset by it so i guess ill just keep trying and i may take your advice kittypurry and bring the toys we have into out play, ive used one a bit on him before and hes used it on me once or twice maybe if we use them more it may relax me.. i hope so!! :(