• Is it possible that some women just can’t orgasm?

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    PrettyBlonde [sign in to see picture]
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    I have never had a g-spot orgasm or even found my gspot. During sex I feel very little pleasure if any and instead I just feel a fullness and slight bruising. I’ve tried to find my g-spot, so has my boyfriend but no sensation has ever been discovered. I am always extremely turned on before intercourse and I am often very wet. We try all positions and have an incredible sex life on an emotional level. We have tried toys, sexual fantasies, EVERYTHING. My previous partners have never made me orgasm either.

    My boyfriend is more insecure about this then I am, and it is really affecting his confidence no matter how much I try and reassure him that it’s my body not his “skill”. He tries everything, spends hours going down on me and giving me amazing foreplay, he’s covered the room in rose petals and candles and worked all of the romance magic, but still nothing. I can have a clit orgasm, but my technique involves me doing it on my front so I’ve only been able to do it solo.

    Is it possible that some women just can’t orgasm? Or that their gspot is almost numb?

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    PrettyBlonde [sign in to see picture]
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    By the way sorry for the front bit of html...I have no idea what thats all about :S

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    mrs.soft [sign in to see picture]
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    have u tried everything??????

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    toycar69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Are you only concentrating on your G-spot? Clitoral stimulation may provide better results?

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Yep.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inorgasmia

    But you do say you can orgasm clitorally, which is how most women do anyway. my OH struggles to orgasm most of the time. We're all different. Although it may be worth considering any medication or certain types of contraception as these can affect sex in various ways. Try to not pressure yourself and enjoy it, an orgasm doesn't have to be the be all and end all.

    Do also remember that although many people have experiential evidence of the G-spot, including myself, the science world is undecided on the topic and it's existence is still contested... If it doesn't exist you can't worry about not having one!

    Oooo and also... the code at the top or your post, it usually happens when you paste from a word document or something similar.

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    ju [sign in to see picture]
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    I can have a clit orgasm, but my technique involves me doing it on my front so I’ve only been able to do it solo.

    I thought I would only be able to have a clit-orgasm on my own- the position and amount of pressure seemed so specific- But, by chance / instinct, I found I could have one during sex too. I orgasm silly-easy but, if I can get him where I want him...Lol....and get him to stay still....it's the best orgasm i can get during sex.

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    Carousel [sign in to see picture]
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    This isn't exactly answering your question, but more of a tip...

    During penetrative sex, why not stimulate your clit yourself, or try one of the many vibrating cock rings that are available on Lovehoney?

    Most of the time, I stimulate my clit whilst my Husband works his magic, and it's amazing. You'll probably need to feel more comfortable and confident with masturbating to do this, but I can almost guarentee your boyfriend will find you playing with yourself very sexy and it could make for an even better experience for him.

    The main thing is that everyone is different. I struggled a bit when I began taking some rather strong medication and I felt like a failure initially and was very frustrated. But, through solo exploration I changed my technique and learned what I had to do and gave my Husband a private show and it went from there.

    Learn what's best for you in private and then share it with your partner, one way or the other.

    I found it easiest to 'let go' and feel less conscious about Hubs watching whilst in Doggy position. Now, it's as much a part of sex as anything else.

    MrsPx

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    ju [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Personally, I find the G-spot is over rated. There is no spot inside me then when stimulated makes me go frantic like it is portrayed in porn or womens magazines. Though I can use it to find a different way of pleasuring myself, but it's no where near as good as a clitoral orgasm.

    You say you can make your self orgasm by stimulating your clitoris yourself. Can you orgasm with the help from your man in that manner? If not I have the similar problem too. I can orgasm myself reasonably easily with my clit, but my man hardly ever actually manages to get me over the edge when he tries to do it for me. I just put this down to being used to my own technique and I know what works for me and his techniques don't work as well.

    Either way, don't worry over it. My man knows I hardly ever actually orgasm when we have sex, but he knows I very much enjoy the ride, so my tip is don't focus so much on orgasming and just carry on enjoying and experimenting eachothers bodies. You never know, you might surprise yourself one day!

    I have to say too, my OH fiddling and twiddling with it does nothing for me. I just happened on a position that worked for me- I still have to controll the movement, pressure etc. He might be there, and in- but it's mostly down to me. all he has to do is keep STILL but hell, it works for us.

    Great sex isn't all about 'O' though. sometimes i even try to keep mine quiet- especially if it's early on. or he takes it as a green light and, er.... concludes things.

    PrettyBlonde, sounds like you've got a really attentive, romantic lover. that's what matters. what i wouldn't do for a few rose petals and a couple of candles!

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    sharry [sign in to see picture]
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    I also dont have much internal feeling, although in some positions I have a heightened response if I'm beinig stimulated clitorallly. I think it's more usual for women to need clitoral attention than not. I don't think I've orgasmed through vaginal stimulation only, I need both. Don't worry about it, as usual the more you and your OH worry the bigger deal it'll become. Personally I find 'doggy' style gets the best results as I can stilulate myself as my OH does his thing so to speak. You've probably tried this position but you mention that you can make yourself orgasm while being face down. Have you experimented with different positions? There's quite a few variations where you can be face down and penetrated at the same time.

    He sounds like a good partner and thats what matters, make sure he knows it and perhaps the rest will come in time.

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    ronnie-baby [sign in to see picture]
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    sharry wrote:

    I also dont have much internal feeling, although in some positions I have a heightened response if I'm beinig stimulated clitorallly. I think it's more usual for women to need clitoral attention than not. I don't think I've orgasmed through vaginal stimulation only, I need both. Don't worry about it, as usual the more you and your OH worry the bigger deal it'll become. Personally I find 'doggy' style gets the best results as I can stilulate myself as my OH does his thing so to speak. You've probably tried this position but you mention that you can make yourself orgasm while being face down. Have you experimented with different positions? There's quite a few variations where you can be face down and penetrated at the same time.

    He sounds like a good partner and thats what matters, make sure he knows it and perhaps the rest will come in time.

    I am very much the same. can orgasm clitorally but not peneratively and haven't had a proper g-spot orgasm. I have tried everything! I think it is possible that some women just aren't programmed to orgasm vaginally, me being one of the unlucky few!

    rb

    x x

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    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    I am another woman, who just cannot orgasm from being just penatrated. I do feel sometimes burning and slight pain even if I am not taken for some time. I can enjoy it, but seriously I cannot get off that way. And nowhere close to it. It is not your partner fault, nor yours. I would just not pressure yourself with not being able to achive vaginal orgams and as previously said, additional stimulation during intercourse either by your hand or by vibrator are great (either on cockring, but bullet works great as well in some positions).

    I am very much the same. can orgasm clitorally but not peneratively and haven't had a proper g-spot orgasm. I have tried everything! I think it is possible that some women just aren't programmed to orgasm vaginally, me being one of the unlucky few!

    rb

    x x

    Friend told me she actually was able to achive vaginal orgasm when she got older and more sexually mature, but not sure... maybe there is hope?

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    And what about people like me? I can't have a clitoral orgasm as well!

    And I know where my g-spot is. But never achieve orgasm. However, I still enjoy sex.

    About my clitoris - I believe it is over-sensitive because the feeling of having something vibrating there for a longer time, or if given oral - well, it is not something I would call pleasant.

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    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    Mrs M relies on stimulating herself clitorally (is that a word?) during sex, or she very rarely orgasms from penetration alone. I think it's pretty common not to orgasm from it, but it is normally said to be more sensitive than you are describing. So -

    • Don't worry about it
    • Try stimulating your clitoris yourself or getting your OH to do it if he can reach
    • Try other forms of stimulation to turn you on in other ways
    • Really, don't worry about it
    • Relax
    • Enjoy sex! Once Mrs M's orgasmed she's too sensitive to touch again, which pretty much ends our session. You can keep going as long as you want!

    Hope you find some fun things to play with on Lovehoney, and enjoy yourself!

    Mr Mr

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    YesChef [sign in to see picture]
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    MrsP wrote:

    During penetrative sex, why not stimulate your clit yourself, or try one of the many vibrating cock rings that are available on Lovehoney?

    Although it has happened, it's really rare for my OH to have an exclusively g-spot orgasm, but we're big fans of the vibrating cock ring aproach too. It's not just that it provides enough clitoral stimulation for her to reach orgasm, but also that the clitoral and g-spot stimulation seems to result in her having more powerful orgasms.

    If she just uses a vibrator on her clitoris, she's too sensitive after orgasm to do any more - however, clitoral+g-spot quite often gives her two or three orgasms. Hurrah for cock rings!

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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    agreeing with what everyone else is saying. it is rare for women to orgasm from penetration alone, I know i have never done it.

    using different positions can help. personally i like having my knees on my partners shoulders or missionary as it gives me acess to my clit during sex.

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    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
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    I was the same until I met my current OH and it turns out all I nneded was a man with a Reverse Prince Albert... :D

    lol ok well it probably wasn't a simple as that but You could try looking at ways in which you can incorporate sex into you masterbation technique, could he penetrate you from bihind whilst you doing it, or would it work with you lying on top of him? or even just how I used to do it was me doing what I needed to do on my clit and him with his fingers inside me so he could feel my orgasm when I had one.

    I do hate how the female orgasm has become the holy grail now though. I posted a thread on here a while a go after several guys had commented to me they wouldn't stay with a girl if they couldn't make her orgasm when I was dating.

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    Pedro the monkey [sign in to see picture]
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    According to my partner,

    never give up, try everything, the fact that she likes to be restrained and toyed with, and creating a whole fantasy world with costume and scenarios to make here orgasm.... i was the only person she'd met who would whole heartedly help here in anyway she wanted, whome i to complain, she was my holy grail of a women.... we'll try anything together to see if it works............. now where's my slave outfit ???

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    Booties [sign in to see picture]
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    Since everyone has already answered with the good points, I'll just add this =)

    Whenever I speak to my friends about orgasms during sex, they say they can only orgasm on top... Generally this allows the man to penetrate deeper, but it also means your clitoris is coming into contact with his pelvic bone...

    Really, this should be possible in most positions where the man is close to you, but it takes effort. A lot of people I know don't think they have to do anything beyond lie there and be thrust into, but a bit of tactful pressing and hip swivelling can do wonders for you!

    Personally I have only had a G-Spot orgasm once, however I can have a clitoral orgasm 98% of the time we have sex!

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    paradise found [sign in to see picture]
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    Booties wrote:

    Since everyone has already answered with the good points, I'll just add this =)

    Whenever I speak to my friends about orgasms during sex, they say they can only orgasm on top... Generally this allows the man to penetrate deeper, but it also means your clitoris is coming into contact with his pelvic bone...

    Really, this should be possible in most positions where the man is close to you, but it takes effort. A lot of people I know don't think they have to do anything beyond lie there and be thrust into, but a bit of tactful pressing and hip swivelling can do wonders for you!

    Personally I have only had a G-Spot orgasm once, however I can have a clitoral orgasm 98% of the time we have sex!

    I would agree but in my case it doesn't. My outer labia comes into contact with his pelvic bone but my clit is small and buried in a deep cleft. There is no possibility of it meeting anything that isn't poking right into it

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    PrettyBlonde [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks so much for the advice everyone! Me and my partner are using all your tips and tricks :) We bought this the other day - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2008 and i gave it ago. sorry if its to much tmi!!! but i put it in and after adjusting it alot i could feel a sharp sensation, alot like an extreme needing to pee feeling. I kept going at it for a while and the sensation stayed the same but not much else happened. have i stumbled upon my gspot or am i just pressing against my bladder??

    Thank you! x

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