• Sex and Depression

    1296937844
    Yoko [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 68
    • Joined: 8 Jan 2011

    sweetlove666 wrote:

    can i just ask something of those who have CFS?

    have you tried the low level antidepressants that can help people? if so did it reduce your sex drive

    it's something im considering discussing with my doctor ( as the meds have helped my sister) but i want to know more about the side effects before i try em.

    Yes my doc prescribed low dose A/D for me. It was about 5 years ago now so I cannot recall the name, but it didn't do anything for me. No side effects but no good effects either. It may still be worth trying though; we all react differently to medication.

    1296940399
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3434
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    Yoko wrote:

    sweetlove666 wrote:

    can i just ask something of those who have CFS?

    have you tried the low level antidepressants that can help people? if so did it reduce your sex drive

    it's something im considering discussing with my doctor ( as the meds have helped my sister) but i want to know more about the side effects before i try em.

    Yes my doc prescribed low dose A/D for me. It was about 5 years ago now so I cannot recall the name, but it didn't do anything for me. No side effects but no good effects either. It may still be worth trying though; we all react differently to medication.

    You often find they start you on such a low dose that you need to increase the dose until you see an effect. I started on 10mg, no change, upped it 20mg and it made a massive difference.

    Having said that - it is prescribed for pain relief more than aiding sleep/fatigue symptoms.

    If you have chronic pain your nerves get battered so much that they respond oddly to pain and you can get phantom pain from the nerves or feel pressure as pain by mistake. TCAs (tricyclic antidepressants) are often prescribed (in doses too low to aid with depression) for the pain caused by the nerves (which is called neurological pain). A side effect is that they can help you sleep so they can be good for people with fatigue but it's less guaranteed I guess.

    Adx

    1297107954
    DrunkenLullaby_x [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2009

    I can't really say a lot about this because my depression was slightly different.

    Having been made fun of since day one of Primary School right up to Uni, I have had some really pain in the ass bad anxiety issues, which was fine - kind of just got on with it. I don't know how long I've been ''depressed'' for. I started to self harm around 15 and have been doing that on and off even up til this day. Got diagnosed in my first year at uni (ironically studying MHN, yeah I know, may have done it for my own issues). Got started on some AD.

    Throughout this whole period in my life, I was not interested in boys and doing what all other girls my age were doing (having lots of sex). I just had zero sex drive.

    It wasn't until I had psychology imput that I began to kind of accept myself and realise I'm not all bad and things are ok. After this, I met my OH and he was mega patient (still is).

    I have since came off the ADs and I notice one HELL of a difference! Then I discovered Reiki and that has been a Godsend! Much more positive and has further increased my sex drive!

    Anyone else had any experience with Reiki?

    Sorry if that was way off, I guess my point was - depression affects people in many different ways. Don't be ashamed of it - try and talk about things, if your medication isn't working don't be afraid to try another one, not one AD will be right for everyone who suffers from depression...

    1297111278
    blondes_have_more_fun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 14 Mar 2009

    sweetlove666 wrote:

    can i just ask something of those who have CFS?

    have you tried the low level antidepressants that can help people? if so did it reduce your sex drive

    it's something im considering discussing with my doctor ( as the meds have helped my sister) but i want to know more about the side effects before i try em.

    I have chronic pain syndrome and depression because of it. I found Prozac totally inhibited my ability to orgasm - I'd get SO close, but never get there - really upsetting. And the doc told my there were no side effects whatsoever! Now I'm on 150mg Dosulepin - it helps with pain and sleep, and a raise from 75mg to 150mg has really helped my mood. And no orgasm problems. Good luck - I'm sure there will be a tablet out there that helps.

    1297245027
    toycar69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 577
    • Joined: 13 Jul 2010

    I'm confused with the depression thing. Where do you draw the line between feeling down and stuck in a rut etc, and full blown depression?

    Chelzs, I think you've got to look at this diagnosis as a positive. You now know something is wrong, and what it is. This means you can work on it with help from the doctors, meds etc. I'm sure you'll soon get things back to normal, but it won't be in 5 minutes.

    Take care sweetie!

    1297247591
    paradise found [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 81
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2010

    toycar69 wrote:

    I'm confused with the depression thing. Where do you draw the line between feeling down and stuck in a rut etc, and full blown depression?

    Chelzs, I think you've got to look at this diagnosis as a positive. You now know something is wrong, and what it is. This means you can work on it with help from the doctors, meds etc. I'm sure you'll soon get things back to normal, but it won't be in 5 minutes.

    Take care sweetie!

    It obviously affects different people in different ways but one classic symptom is waking up in the early hours and not being able to go back to sleep. That becomes a constant cycle of over-tiredness and not being able to sleep. I've had that with some periods of depression and not with others.

    With one episode which lasted a couple of years I completely lost my sense of humour, things that had made me laugh before just didn't anymore. I was really strange because I knew I'd lost it but couldn't do anything about it.

    I get really tearful a lot of the time, crying about nothing. When people who have never suffered depression tell you to "pull yourself together" they have absolutely no idea what a curse depression is

    1297247726
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1062
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    toycar69 wrote:

    I'm confused with the depression thing. Where do you draw the line between feeling down and stuck in a rut etc, and full blown depression?

    Chelzs, I think you've got to look at this diagnosis as a positive. You now know something is wrong, and what it is. This means you can work on it with help from the doctors, meds etc. I'm sure you'll soon get things back to normal, but it won't be in 5 minutes.

    Take care sweetie!

    Morning folks :)

    @ TC...

    It's kinda hard to explain unless you've been there. And even then it's not straight forward...

    But you you just know.

    How do I explain this?...

    Sorry Just got up lol!

    Right.....

    Regular 'Down-In-The-Dumps' is kinda obvious to most people. It's like when you have a bad day because a boss has pissed you off and you feel upset by it. But then after a nice talk with a friend or family member, cup of tea etc, You pretty much bounce back.

    Clinically diagnosed depression is a completely different animal!

    I was at a stage in my life about 11 years ago when a multitude of things happened simultaniously that my mind just couldn't cope with.

    I split from my then fiance 'K' which on it's own knocked the crap out of me, But at the same time, Two of my close aunties lost their battle to cancer, My cat had to be put down, My Area manager ( At the time I was manager of MotorWorld in Saltash ) was continuously pushing me to my mental limits - I worked two years flat out on my own in that shop with NO cover, No holidays, ZERO time off on a seven day 7am-8pm job. ( You getting the picture yet? ) I didn't know at the time, But my BPD was going wild without me even knowing I had it. A close friend betrayed me in the worst way possible and I ended up on my own in a shitty little bedsit ( The worst thing possible for me at the time )

    It ended in me having a 'mini' breakdown.

    I didn't want to get out of bed and face the world, I didn't want to talk to anyone, I constantly drank and comfort ate. I self harmed and tried to commit suicide 14 times over the space of two or three years.

    I distanced myself from those close to me and let myself go in every way a person could neglect themselves.

    It is different from case to case as everyones situation is very different.

    All I'll say is it takes a lot of guts, To stand up one day, Have a 'lightbulb' moment and admit there is a problem and seek out help.

    It takes time and a lot of emotional strength to fight it, But with the right meds, Support network and attitude, It IS possible!

    So Huge hugs today for anyone who is suffering from depression in any one of its nasty forms, Esp my Lady-J!

    Chin up guys

    1297249656

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2535
    • Joined: 30 Oct 2008

    chin up you two keep on trying mateys

    1297253877
    Yoko [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 68
    • Joined: 8 Jan 2011

    That sounds absolutely wretched Seduced. I'm glad you are out the other side of it and that life has come together for you. You deserve it. xxx

    1297261583
    toycar69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 577
    • Joined: 13 Jul 2010

    paradise found wrote:

    It obviously affects different people in different ways but one classic symptom is waking up in the early hours and not being able to go back to sleep.

    Thats a bit of a worry, Wifey's sleep pattern is awful at the moment, and she keeps waking in the early hours.

    Sed, that sounds like you had a really bad time of it, I'm sorry for you, but very glad you've got to the place you are now.

    1297264259
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1062
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    Hey don't be sorry, I'm not!

    It made me stronger and made me the confident, Open minded person I am now.

    So when I tell my friends who are down to cheer up, I'm not being tedious and ignorant, ....

    I actually mean what I am saying, And say it because I know it is possible!

    The main thing I've learned through it all is that you can't wait for things to get better,

    You have to make a concious and willful decision to actively do something to change your situation.

    1297271503
    Yoko [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 68
    • Joined: 8 Jan 2011

    toycar69 wrote:

    paradise found wrote:

    It obviously affects different people in different ways but one classic symptom is waking up in the early hours and not being able to go back to sleep.

    Thats a bit of a worry, Wifey's sleep pattern is awful at the moment, and she keeps waking in the early hours.

    Sed, that sounds like you had a really bad time of it, I'm sorry for you, but very glad you've got to the place you are now.

    Don't necessariy assume its depression though TC. In a woman, an imbalance of oestrogen/progesterone is another possibility. Low oestrogen is specifically linked to insomnia. Then there's thyroid hormone imbalances to consider; both low and high thyroid levels can create sleep havoc.

    Might be worth googling for symptoms of low O & P and thyroid imbalance to see if she can spot a pattern and then perhaps a trip to the GP to have hormone levels tested?

    Sed: I like what you say in your last sentence there.

    1298661102
    SnL [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2011

    Hi everyone,

    I luckily came across this thread as I was apprehensive for taking a new medication prescribed to me yesterday which is Amitriptyline, as well as taking other medication. I had a very mild stroke a few years ago, I have chronic pain and migraines.

    Just want to thank everyone for sharing your experiences and advice because it's helped! Sorry I haven't introduced myself properly but I will say hello now and wish you all well.

    Thanks,

    L xx

    1298663080
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 442
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2009

    This is such a good thread. It's really important for people to talk about things like depression especially as the whole nature of it can make you feel so alone. It's really weird as last night i had a very scary depressive episode and suddenly things about depression are popping up everywhere as if talking to me directly!

    It can effect most or all areas of your life. I can only speak for myself because although many people experience depression we all have it for different reasons and feel it differently.

    I have the opposite problem of an increased libido at times of stress,anxiety or depression. It's not about orgasms though its my confusion with sex and love apparently. When i feel at my worst and cant do anything i need to feel wanted or needed and so long for the physical touch of another. But as my girlfriend has a much lower sex drive than me, when she isn't in the mood i take it as a rejection and so the circle continues!

    I found going on anti-depressants, although helping get rid of the extreme feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts etc, made a lot of other things much worse including my actual natural sex drive, not the part that wants love but the part that just wants the hubba hubba!

    I don't know anything about post-natal depression but the important thing with any depression is communication. Whether thats with your doctor, your partner or a counsellor. You need to keep talking about it. My friend's going through something similar and i dont know what to tell her apart from that so i hope i'l learn more about it. Depression is so misunderstood and the word depression is thrown around too readily, so when someone really has it the extent of their pain can often be overlooked as just going through a rough patch.

    You hang in there girl as it wont last forever, though it may seem that way sometimes. Things will get better.

    1300482011
    blondes_have_more_fun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 14 Mar 2009

    paradise found wrote:

    toycar69 wrote:

    I'm confused with the depression thing. Where do you draw the line between feeling down and stuck in a rut etc, and full blown depression?

    Chelzs, I think you've got to look at this diagnosis as a positive. You now know something is wrong, and what it is. This means you can work on it with help from the doctors, meds etc. I'm sure you'll soon get things back to normal, but it won't be in 5 minutes.

    Take care sweetie!

    It obviously affects different people in different ways but one classic symptom is waking up in the early hours and not being able to go back to sleep. That becomes a constant cycle of over-tiredness and not being able to sleep. I've had that with some periods of depression and not with others.

    With one episode which lasted a couple of years I completely lost my sense of humour, things that had made me laugh before just didn't anymore. I was really strange because I knew I'd lost it but couldn't do anything about it.

    I get really tearful a lot of the time, crying about nothing. When people who have never suffered depression tell you to "pull yourself together" they have absolutely no idea what a curse depression is

    1300482399
    blondes_have_more_fun [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 14 Mar 2009

    Sorry about the above post - I'm so technophobic! What I meant to write was that I agree with you, paradise. It's so annoying when people tell you to pull yourself together. Whatever sets off your depression, when it gets to the clinical stage, it's actually about a lack of chemicals in the brain - which is what antidepressants try to replace. It isn't about just stopping moping, you can't kickstart the production of these chemicals on your own. It's a real illness, not just a state of mind.

    Sorry if this sounds like ranting - it's just meant to help explain the illness, it's not a rant aimed at anyone on here!

    1300598284
    Tromain [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 38
    • Joined: 20 Jan 2011

    Hiya Chelz,

    Just thought I'd pop in my two pennies worth as while reading(ok.. scanning..) this thread I don't recall seeing a mans perspective of PND, my OH suffers from PND and has done for 5 years now and it truly destroyed our sex life, and slowly ate away at our marriage.

    One thing you MUST do, is always communicate with your OH! I can't stress that enough! Once my OH began talking to me about how she felt things began to recover and I'm happy to say that while she still has PND she has fully recovered her sex drive.

    I sympathize with you entirely as I know how it feels, I myself am a manic-depressive with bi-polar disorder(diagnosed at the age of 9), and it has run riot over my life so often it's painful to think about, meds tend to make me either suicidal or "zombiefied" and counseling exacerbated the problem, so my only choice is to plod on and try to stay strong(luckily my willpower is excessively strong!) so I can live a somewhat normal life. One thing that I find will ALWAYS make me feel a little bit better is tickling my son and hearing him laugh, especialy when it ends with him saying "I love you daddy" those words and his laugh manage to pull me out of my deepest depressions into what I've come to call the Gentle Zone, neither depressed nor happy, just as normal as I have ever felt.

    Wow.. that is longer then I meant it to be.. but as I said, try and keep strong and communicate all the time, even if it seems pointless at least your OH will know where he stands and can try and help you, otherwise he's left in the dark to grope for ideas to help which could often backfire and do harm instead!

    Hugs and kisses hun!

    Keith.

    1300638339
    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 623
    • Joined: 26 Sep 2010

    just found this thread firstly (( hugs)) to all who need them depression is a lonely thing to deal with.

    Had 3 bouts myself, when I lost my son at 24 weeks pregnant, first baby and had taken 7 years to get pregnant so had got to the point I didnt think it would happen. DIdnt get any treatment or help and never told anyone how I was feeling.

    Suffered PND with my third baby, 2nd survivor, was only offered extra visits from health visitor who wasnt trained to deal with the issue, this was after telling the GP I sat at the top of a multistorey carpark trying to work out how to take both children with me without scaring them. Slowly worked my way out of that, started doing a training course in community work to give me an outside focus.

    Was widowed 3 years ago, managed to 'stay strong' for a while then crumbled, i slept all day crawled out of bed to feed the kids and crawled back in. Thought about suicide a lot but never got past the what happens to the children question. Keeping them from suffering any more than they had was the only thing that stopped me. Eventually went to the Dr and got ADs but only took them for a week, felt worse than ever and couldnt function.

    It has taken a year since then to get to where I am now, I still have bad days when I dont want to face anything and spend the day close to or in tears but given the support of a new partner I am on my way back to being me. My sense of humour is back and so is my sex drive. It can be done,but takes time and understanding from the people around you.

    Just want to wish the best to all of you who are going through this and let you know there is light at the end of the very dark tunnel you are in

    xGGx

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.