• Open relationships/jelousy/cheating problem

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    kimberlyc [sign in to see picture]
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    What's he doing? If he's so hurt about you leaving, then why is he being a twat? :(

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    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    katy.bird wrote:

    What's he doing? If he's so hurt about you leaving, then why is he being a twat? :(

    Constant texts saying im a failure, im a selfish bitch, iv got serious issues and i need help, iv got no regard for his feelings, its all my fault, hes no different to any other man so it has to all b me.......o it goes on.

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    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    katy.bird wrote:

    What's he doing? If he's so hurt about you leaving, then why is he being a twat? :(

    Constant texts saying im a failure, im a selfish bitch, iv got serious issues and i need help, iv got no regard for his feelings, its all my fault, hes no different to any other man so it has to all b me.......o it goes on.

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    toycar69 [sign in to see picture]
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    missorgasm wrote:

    katy.bird wrote:

    What's he doing? If he's so hurt about you leaving, then why is he being a twat? :(

    Constant texts saying im a failure, im a selfish bitch, iv got serious issues and i need help, iv got no regard for his feelings, its all my fault, hes no different to any other man so it has to all b me.......o it goes on.

    Oh yes he is...

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    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    toycar69 wrote:

    missorgasm wrote:

    katy.bird wrote:

    What's he doing? If he's so hurt about you leaving, then why is he being a twat? :(

    Constant texts saying im a failure, im a selfish bitch, iv got serious issues and i need help, iv got no regard for his feelings, its all my fault, hes no different to any other man so it has to all b me.......o it goes on.

    Oh yes he is...

    TC, hes not even the same as another human being.....

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    kimberlyc [sign in to see picture]
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    Ugh. I don't know what this SOB's issues are, but they're ugly.

    I don't want to take any struggles you've had with fertility lightly, but it's probably a good thing that you did not conceive. This guy sounds like an emotionally abusive prick, and he would probably make a pretty crap father.

    I hope you can wash this man right outta your hair, move on, and go get some good sex. You totally deserve it.

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    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    katy.bird wrote:

    Ugh. I don't know what this SOB's issues are, but they're ugly.

    I don't want to take any struggles you've had with fertility lightly, but it's probably a good thing that you did not conceive. This guy sounds like an emotionally abusive prick, and he would probably make a pretty crap father.

    I hope you can wash this man right outta your hair, move on, and go get some good sex. You totally deserve it.

    i know what his issues are. its him that wont admit it lol. Ironically im a week late now lol. done a test and it was neg. freaked me the fuck out when i looked at the calender though Good sex.......no just to find some one for some no strings fun to get confidence up to scratch haha

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    Mr Tall [sign in to see picture]
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    so sorry, it makes me ashamed to be a man when i here stuff like he is saying and acting, we are not all like that

    life will be better again, go and grab it and shake it til the good stuff falls out in your lap

    x

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Looks like you've done exactly the right thing missO! What a prat.

    Well done in being the bigger and stronger person!

    Adx

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    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    Lets just hope i can stay strong this time....

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    kimberlyc [sign in to see picture]
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    missorgasm wrote:

    Lets just hope i can stay strong this time....

    Well, he's not exactly making it hard with all those nasty texts.

    Take another test in a day or two, in the morning. Fingers crossed it's the result you want!

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    maccess [sign in to see picture]
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    missorgasm wrote:

    thanks to u all. it means alot that i have some support. im glad i logged in, i was starting to doubt my decision. it hasnt changed anything. im justb getting a load of abusive messeges telling me iv given up and failed our relationship. i know i havent. im doin what has to be done

    you all truly amazing. and id buy you all your wishlists if i won the lottery :)

    xx

    stick to your guns MissO you have not failed anyone, you have done what you think is best and thats all you can do.... sending you a big hug x

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    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    Missy. You definately made the right decision sweetie!

    Sorry to say it :(

    Anyway, He is FAILING as a human being let alone a man, He is emotionally abusing you and

    now the ball is in your court, He's spat his dummy out and is having a hissy fit.

    You deserve sooo much better and you WILL find it ;)

    Obviously he has to hit rock bottom and hurt those closest to him before he's going to realize what the hell is going on with himself as well as others.

    If you stuck around, That would only drag you down with him and make you ill too!

    Sometimes Tough Love is the only option left, And even if you never re-unite or whatever, One day he'll realize and admit that infact YOU were right all along.

    I've learned from bitter experience, When a person has their thumb firmly pressed down on that old "Self-destruct" button, Not a thing in the world will budge them....

    He needs this clean break as much as you do hun.

    Anyway, Less about him...

    Chin up and stay strong Missy! You'll feel so much better for it in no time at all ;) xxx

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    muchkin [sign in to see picture]
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    Glad your staying strong MissO, least you know you have done the right thing, even though it seems hard, you are strong and will get past this. Hope your little one is ok aswell

    **Passes you a cupcake to make you feel better** xxx

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    Wilkibo [sign in to see picture]
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    missorgasm wrote:

    Lets just hope i can stay strong this time....

    Well, u've the whole OA behind u!

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    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    Wilkibo wrote:

    missorgasm wrote:

    Lets just hope i can stay strong this time....

    Well, u've the whole OA behind u!

    Well lubed up and raring to go...

    Sorry, was that too soon?

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    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    muchkin wrote:

    Glad your staying strong MissO, least you know you have done the right thing, even though it seems hard, you are strong and will get past this. Hope your little one is ok aswell

    **Passes you a cupcake to make you feel better** xxx

    thank you for reminding me i have made cupcakes and i can eat them......although im craving pot noodle :/

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    toycar69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi MissO, been wondering how you were doing. Hope things are going ok.

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    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi I've just saw this thread. Just remember in your mind (and I told myself the same when my ex thought it was fun to cheat.... ) that you deserve better.

    Hang in there :D

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    Grubb [sign in to see picture]
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    I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years. The first year of this was spent being the “other man”. During this time as the “sexual relief”, she was living with her fiancée. They had a flat, a new car, and had been together since they where 17 (now 25). So in short, it was a fully formed, fully adult relationship that had been in existence for 6/7 years before I arrived on the scene.

    We met through work. I’m a software developer, and she’s a drama/English graduate. We first set eyes on each other when working for a bank (a call centre gig that was as boring as church with no hope of absolution).

    At the time of out meeting she had a fiancée. A guy that, while nice, seemed to bore her. He made her dinner, bought her gifts and was to be honest, the model gent. But, after a year of dicking around, myself and “the lass” finally got it together and became legit. It has to be noted that, despite breaking up with her other half, she stayed in the same flat as him. A unfortunate reality I accept; financial obligations can be a nightmare...they don’t seem to care about life.

    She moved out from her flat, left her car, and moved in with me (six months ago, all the while previously living with her ex). Anyway, all if which (if I’m honest) made me happy to the point of delirium (being the “quiet shame” can be a painful load to bear).

    The protracted spell with her ex “post break up” (a year and some change), a matter of fact issue that was in no small part due to cash responsibilities as well as my own situation (living with parents)that simply took time to resolve.

    So now, we live together. I’m doing my masters at university, and she a teacher training course that is brutal; but I have no doubt she’ll accomplish.

    Any way...a long standing issues that has been the bane of my life, is “THE EX”. Her ex, who she openly describes as her “best friend”, wont leave our lives. She and he share texts, phone calls and facebook conversations. While I would be the first to admit that there is little to no incriminating evidence (sexual chat/conversations) in the banter they share (no I don’t look at her emails, texts or anything else, I simply have what is shared with me by her), I will admit that the comments made make reference to a number of in jokes and pet names.

    When she goes out of an evening, she says that she’s going to meet friends, then when she returns, she confesses to have met him instead (in addition to a group of others that she has never stated an interest/plan in meeting). This has happened at least three times as far as I know in the last 6 months.

    Her family live about an hour and a half away from where we currently reside. When she visits her family, I know that she often makes “house calls” to her old flat. A place that her EX currently resides. While I acknowledge the fact that its “their” flat, I still wonder its ok for me to have an issue with this fact? Am I being a too over the top alpha-male? ( A problem I’ve had a few times in the past). Her family keep in contact with her ex, as he was a nice guys and treated the kid’s in the family as a man should do. Her family are very welcoming toward me, and have always made me feel at home.

    I’m a forces child. That is to say that I have very few friends in this country. She is a “local” of a place in Scotland called Fife, and as such, has many friends that live locally. As a result of the fact that she had been with her ex for so long, and had always lived in the same place, is that all of her friends know her ex, and many (I’m talking allot here) are also friends with her previous other half. While this is not a direct issue, it does allow her to “meet” groups pf friends on nights out that also include her ex. ( A fact that she will lie about, “oh, i didn’t know he was coming”. Facts that only come to light after questioning over facebook comments made by her ex).

    I admit, that there is a level of understanding on my part that there must be a level of amicability between the two as they have shared financial assets, but am s wrong in thinking that the end of a relationship means the end of a friendship on some level?

    If my girlfriend says “I’m meeting “ex” for a drink to discuss such and such”, I will admit, that It pains me, but I accept the situation for what it is. When she says “I’m meeting friends” and later tells me she met him instead, a part of my brain melts. I lose the plot and get annoyed. I DONT hit her, I DONT verbally bash her, I just express my anguish as best I can. This however, seems insufficient to prevent these incidents from occurring.

    Not to sound like a child, but we are engaged and have been for the last six months. Her family where, until Christmas, (which I spent with them) unaware of this fact. A matter I brought up during a drink with them, and resulted in multiple sarcastic comments from her lot. (Mostly pertaining to her ex).

    She still has the engagement ring that he bought for her, and the house is littered with numerous pictures of them kissing/hugging/coupling at various events (all be it these are kept in draws/cupboards etc), I really don’t see the need for their existence. I myself have NO paraphernalia from previous relationships...It just doesn’t seem right given the fact that I love her, and this is our home.

    So please, tell me if I’m being irrational. Tell me if I’m being over the top. Tell me if I should be worried. Tell me what to do.

    Regards, and thanks for reading this rather long rant.

    Grubb

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