• Good inuendos during conversations

    1295966664
    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 221
    • Joined: 28 Jun 2009

    i have a friend who, bless her heart, drop herself in it constantly,

    Picks up LH mag off my kitchen side and says "do you mind if i have a quick flick?" legend

    "Have you seen my thingy?? its about this big (spaces hands to about 12inches) and really thick and black?" she was on about her work folder

    "OOO i like its reeeaaally thick" when i asked her how she wanted her hot chocolate

    The only thing iv ever said that springs to mind is the OH came home from work early on a sunday and wanted to cook a roast and asked me what i wanted to get from the shop meat wise, i snuggled up and said i didnt want him to go out and he said he did or we'd have nothing for dinner t which i responded with "Just roast me!" damn it

    1296070187
    Phantasma [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 66
    • Joined: 20 Dec 2010

    oo-er missus! can result in much hilarity.

    Frankly innuendo forms such a large part of normal conversation for me I cant really say if theres anything particularly good - tends to get lost in sheer volume....

    Most inadventantly innuendo conversation ive ever had...

    Me: Person X, we havent done that macho size check yet (refering to our respective heights)

    Me (20 seconds later): btw, you've got wood.

    In my defence we were playing Settlers of Catan at the time where wood is an obtainable resource....

    1296365747
    Booties [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 282
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2010

    Ahhh let me join, let me join!

    I once had an entire conversation in innuendo with a partner, which was literally something along the lines of:

    Him: You just pop to the highstreet and shove it in the hole!

    Me: No YOU shove it in the hole.

    Him: Is there an insertion fee?

    Me: Only if you withdraw too quickly...

    Him: What if I don't want to withdraw?

    Me: You can always make a deposit...

    Etc. This all stemmed from an innocent discussion about withdrawing money. -le sigh-

    There are also so many good nerdy ones:

    "I'll stick my hard-drive in your laptop"

    "I'll drive into you with my joystick"

    "Do you have protection?"

    "I'll bump your thread"

    "Press me down and turn me on"

    Yada, yada.

    1296431222
    The_Thing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2011

    "My Wii has waggle controls... mind if I play with your Xbox?..."

    ...

    1296431840
    Booties [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 282
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2010

    The_Thing wrote:

    "My Wii has waggle controls... mind if I play with your Xbox?..."

    ...

    Super thumbs up

    1296432170
    The_Thing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2011

    ...Thumbs up where?

    1296432609
    Booties [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 282
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2010

    The_Thing wrote:

    ...Thumbs up where?

    I see what you did there.

    Must be more careful with wording in an innuendo thread. ;_;

    1296434154
    The_Thing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2011

    I was so close to coming up with an innuendo on what you just said... couldn't think of the right wording... I'll come back when I've a good one... to show everyone what I've got...

    ...

    1296434671
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6223
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    The_Thing wrote:

    I was so close to coming up with an innuendo on what you just said... couldn't think of the right wording... I'll come back when I've a good one... to show everyone what I've got...

    ...

    Your post made me groan.

    1296441285
    Booties [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 282
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2010

    WandA wrote:

    The_Thing wrote:

    I was so close to coming up with an innuendo on what you just said... couldn't think of the right wording... I'll come back when I've a good one... to show everyone what I've got...

    ...

    Your post made me groan.

    I'm sure his post can and will make your groan again! =]

    ... It was so un-funny, it became funny.

    1296441361
    Booties [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 282
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2010

    *make you >_>

    1296515644
    The_Thing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2011

    Good to know my groan-making abilities are in working order.

    1296515738
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 714
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    Just be careful not to double-post...

    1296516133
    The_Thing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 18 Jan 2011

    I like that one... it was really filthy if you ment what I thought you did...

    1383760882
    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 967
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    I work in a hardware store and quite oftem come accross (pun intended) hillarious inuendo which makes the staff laugh and snigger. The customers sometimes see the funny side and join in but often don't get the joke and we have to bite our tongue.

    An old man walked up to the counter and very straight faced asked if he could have a double ended screw with no head...

    another customer said he was looking for a short screw, the cheapest you've got.

    Another asked for 3 knobs... to which my colleague replied... well that's just greedy.

    and most recently a woman who had reserved he item over the internet came to collect he item from the warehouse and said, I've come to pick up a stripper! When I replied well I bet you don't get to say that every day she looked completely puzzled so I decided not to elaborate.

    1383779067
    Mr&Mrs Teddy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 146
    • Joined: 17 Mar 2013

    As it happens, I got my OH's gran with one today!

    Referring to her new footwear,

    "gran, have u got a strap on?"

    "yes love, but it's a bit loose" (totally oblivious)

    "erm ok, try it a bit harder!" (Sniggering with watering eyes)

    "what?"

    1383816285
    naughty stacey [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 176
    • Joined: 28 Aug 2012

    I held a coffee bean up to a co worker and asked them to flick it. That was good. I should get a bean on a chain so I can flick it on the bus.

    1383818733
    Draven [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 290
    • Joined: 7 Jul 2010

    I work in a factory with a load of blokes, it's fun to tell 15 men to all get their tools out and get busy.

    Also, we use a lot of grease and the like and it's always referred to as lube so you can imagine, "Lube it up, stick it in and give it a wiggle"

    in fact you could probably add "thats what she said...." to the end of every sentence. lol

    1383819473
    StHubbins [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 577
    • Joined: 11 Jul 2011

    As it's getting colder my thoughts turn to getting wood. Sometimes I'm happy to get wood on my own, but I prefer it if my wife and friends help me get wood.

    1383820027
    Troubled Joe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 353
    • Joined: 19 Jul 2013

    My wife is always playing Candy Crush on her iPad and I watch and wait until she moves one of the red jelly beans before smuttily commenting about her flicking the bean. I've been doing it for months. Apparently it's now not, and has never been, funny!

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.