• problem with sex

    1295724619
    smalltom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 22 Jan 2011

    i have a problem with havin sex. i guess im the same as most guys out there. i can only go 4 bout 5 mins. i wona go longer. i dont wona take viagra so can any1 help me there. but thats not the mane problem. i find it hard gettin it hard. my girlfriend has to get me hard. i cant make myself hard. plz help me. i love doin all sorts of things in the bed and i wona do more of it but my problem is a very big problem 4 me.

    1295724977
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 26 Mar 2010

    Hey, welcome ot the forums. =]

    Perhaps something like this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13190 will work for your issue. It helps you "train" and last longer while you're alone (or with your partner).

    If that's a little too pricey then perhaps the sleeves/strokers may help with getting "hard" as foreplay. I don't see an issue with guys wanting or needing time with foreplay in getting hard. It may help to experiment with some toys to stimulate you.

    Here is a list of the sleeves/strokers: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/sleeves-strokers/

    Good luck!

    1295725203
    Hedonistic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 4 Jan 2011

    I sometimes get like this after too much sex, or if my OH 'damages' me.

    Personaly I just have to suck it up and deal with it. If I can get full wood I can have intercourse, if I just get partial wood then maybe a handjob or blowjob. But I don't let it put me off as my cock will sort itself out in time.

    There are some fun ways to try and mitigate it though:

    1. Cockrings: Cockrings restrict the blood flow in the penis, primarily they stop the blood getting out quickly, so the penis swells up and stays hard once hard. They are relatively cheap, so maybe try getting hard then slipping one on?

    2. Anal Play: I find anal play can get me horrificaly hard due to the amazing sensation. Even if not, there is always prostate milking to allow orgasm without an erection.

    3. Vibrating Toys: Although these rarely get me hard themselves, I can use a Hitachi Magic Wand to get myself off with a very basic erection or none at all. The intense vibration goes right through me and just makes magic happen.

    Ultimately you have to not lose your confidence, do not stress out, and do not try and force it out. If you start to feel dissapointed, you will get tense, stressed and depressed and your mind will only make the problem worse.

    Relax and take your time and experiment.

    1295725702
    GTSH [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
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    • Joined: 15 Nov 2006

    Hi smalltom 5mins would be fine with me wouldnt have a problem with that as long as like my OH you gave me big orgasm through other avenues.

    Please consider going to docs may be other problems diabeties,high blood pressure etc

    1295725814
    smalltom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 22 Jan 2011

    i try to take my time. we tryed loads of things in the bed and i mean loads. my girlfriend can by liein there f**kin herself and i cant get hard. i could b playin with self and she could b playin with me and no joy. i dont no wot to do anymore. i no my girlfriend hate it coz she dont get sex much. shes got more sex toys the a sex toy shop.

    1295726018
    smalltom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 22 Jan 2011

    hi gtsh when i am hard i do make my girlfriend orgasum and squirt. i just need to get hard more often. my girlfriend things i ant got any imagination i need the play part of it to get goin but that dont work most the time.

    1295726113
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    try to relax, i know its difficult but the more you stress and worry about it the worse the problem will become.

    does the problem only happen while you are having sex with your girlfriend? do you masturbate at all or can you get an errection at other times?

    try talking to your girlfriend and explaining that you worry that she worries, im sure she will be able to help reassure you.

    from a womans perspective toys are great but theyre no match to actual sex with another human being!

    if nothing else works then you could try going to your doctors, they've heard it all before and could refer you to a sex therapist or someone qualified to give you excellent helo.

    1295726708
    smalltom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 22 Jan 2011

    she nos. im always sayin i hate it. we have tryed everythink. iv even watched her with another woman and i still was no hard. and 4 toys well we always use toys we love them.

    1295726892
    GTSH [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
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    • Joined: 15 Nov 2006

    smalltom wrote:

    hi gtsh when i am hard i do make my girlfriend orgasum and squirt. i just need to get hard more often. my girlfriend things i ant got any imagination i need the play part of it to get goin but that dont work most the time.

    Ye i understand that. My OH used to somtimes go semi during foreplay,got diagnosed with high blood pressure and since being on tablets had no problems.

    Hoping you manage to get things sorted

    1295727320
    smalltom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 22 Jan 2011

    thanx i do to. i want more sex lol.

    1295728347
    Thin One [sign in to see picture]
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    Discuss it with your (as others have stated it could be health related) or seek a private sexual therapist. Getting anxious and stressed will only make matters worse. Do you exercise regularly? Have a healthy diet?

    1295728786
    smalltom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 22 Jan 2011

    i dont exercise much but i try to eat heslthly

    1295729255
    Thin One [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    Sorry my previous post should have said "discuss with GP". I've recently been talking to him about my recent erection trouble and continuing pain after ejaculation. Also see a therapist and whilst it is embarrassing at first I don't care any more...

    1295732592
    healerwhore [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 20 Jan 2011

    First things first, get down to your GP and make sure there's no underlying problems. I doubt there is but it's always best to get checked out and make sure.

    Then...relax! Tension is the wood-killer! Especially if you're worrying about getting hard, it just makes it impossible. I had problems last year after I lost wood after drinking quite a lot ( newcastle brown ale is evil on your sex life! ) and was paranoid about it for a few weeks and struggled to get hard 'til I realised it was al in my head.

    Steer clear of drugs, especially alcohol and weed. And speed. And well all of them, they're just gonna screw up everything.

    The last one I'd suggest was masturbating...this sounds so wrong telling another guy to do this...but it's like excersise, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. In a way. Maybe do it alone for a while, I reckon your lass being there probably adds to the pressure for you to get hard. Doesn't matter if you use porn, read dirty books, or whatever, and don't worry if it doesn't work first time. Or second or third lol. Just keep at it, it's not gonna kill your sex drive...it makes mine even higher. Squeeze the muscle that stops you peeing...do it any daft time of the day, try and hold it for as long as you can. It's difficult lols and a count to 30 is good for most blokes I reckon. Do it while you're playing with yourself to, especially when you're getting close to cumming cos it's easier to hold it tight then. Keeping this muscle well used is pretty important in my opinion, and helps keep you harder for longer.

    More than anything else...try to enjoy sex, rather than just trying to please your OH...I know it's what you want to do, but then I'm sure she wants to please you just as much.

    1295735966
    Pixieking [sign in to see picture]
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    I would suggest going to your gp like the others say. It could be medical, it could be mental or it could be both, but either way they should be able to help.

    I supose that really it comes down to this. Do you only have trouble gaining an erection in certain situations, like when trying to have sex, or do you have trouble gaining an erection in general?

    The former would suggest mental issues, the latter, medical.

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