• Defuzzing techniques! (and horror story)

    1292015235
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    For those among us who prefer ourselves smooth... HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU MANAGE IT?!

    I have tried everything and have some horror stories to tell...

    Shaving: I have been known on occasion to shave down there. This causes a problem for me, being slightly larger than average my boobs block my view and if i bed forward to see past them, my downstairs carpet disappears from view entirely as it pivots away from me. This does mean that I tend to shave blind, which results in un-even patches, where I'm too cowardly to weild a razor that close to my lips without seeing what I'm doing, Or I do myself a mischief and have the odd nick and cut.

    This entire process takes around 30minutes to an hour, and lasts probably 2 and a half before the stubble itch begins and I have to endure it for a good week or so before I can shave again, as shaving rash would mean I bled to death if I shaved sooner... All in all i never keep it because its such a monstrous hassle for no use.

    Going to be waxed: I have been for a wax probably twice in the last 10 years, and never have more than 'tidy round the edges' because I am self-concious about having anything more done, and frankly a coward, which means I just end up paying for stuff-all difference.

    Epilation: I was put off of this after having a go when I was around 16/17. My father burst in on me after I apparently started screaming like I was being murdered.

    Hair-removal Cream: well this is actually why tonights thread has appeared, I bought some today and being far FAR to impatient to do the 24 hour patch test has resulted in me sitting here with a completely smooth, and burningly painful foof.

    Self Wax Strips: Oh god. Well If you've read this far I might as well treat you to the whole grizzly tale.

    Just shy of 6 years ago, on my hen night, a good friend of mine bought me some 'Self heat wax strips'. Being the coward I was I didnt use them for the wedding day (having been professionally tidied). about a year later (having checked they we're still in date) I figure, you know, why the hell not?

    I read the instructions telling me to warm them between my hands before peeling off the backing, and applying the wax strips to my bikini line.

    "Once smoothed down pull back towards you quickly and cleanly."

    Smooth, deep breath, Yank, examine paper.

    Oh.

    I had in my hand a perfectly clean piece of paper. Not one hair. More worryingly, no wax either. Here is the fatal mistake.

    I bend over to get a better look at what happened.

    Instantly I knew i was in trouble. I had cemented my slightly flabby post baby tummy, to my upper thigh and pussy with the aid of incredibly sticky wax. Bugger.

    After 5 minutes of tugging and pulling at my skin I realise I'm going no-where. Here in I had another dilemma. I had, in my enthusiasm, applied two wax strips, one of which was still in need of removal. Throwing caution to the wind I lift my leg and tear the other strip, that is running parallel to my foof.

    Again I am left with clean paper and all the wax stuck to me. I am now trapped, bent half forwards glued to myself with one leg cocked at 90 degrees KNOWING that if I dare lower it I will simply cememt my pussy closed, probably until the end of time itself.

    Thinking fast to find a way out I decide a nice hot bath will help. After all - everyone knows that wax melts at warm temperatures.

    I run a bath and get in. lowering myself into the water I am alarmed that instead of melting, the wax seems to be setting... Momentum, gravity and sheer sods law mean that nothing, can stop the inevitable, My bum, and well waxed inner thigh-to pussy skin touch the base of the bath. Water is forced out the way, and the ensuing vacuum glues my intimate area to the bath-tub.

    ANY attempt at movement at that point made it clear that my skin would be peeling off before the wax did.

    I was , everything was running through my head, namely how could a company make wax-strips with super-glue, and how my mother would feel when I was on local news being sawed out of the bath by the fire-brigade.

    In one last ditch hope I decide to re-consult the instructions. Right,.. where are they.

    They were of course, inside the box. Stood on top of the cistern. A good 2meters away from my sticky situation.

    I end up hauling down the shower curtain and using the pole (which smacked me in the face bruising my eye and fattening my lip on the way down) I manage to swipe the box over towards me.

    "Any left-over wax can be softened and removed with baby oil".

    Brilliant. All I need to do is get baby oil from our daughters bedroom whilst being glued to the bath. After 10minutes of soul-searching, I realise I am going to have to ask my husband to help, there is no way around it.

    He's down stairs, I shout for him and he comes up into the bathroom. He comments about how I've been ages....

    "Could you bring me the baby oil?"

    "what on earth for?". After several attempts and pleading to get it whilst avoiding admitting what I'd done, I cave in and tell him. His reaction? to lean on the banister and howl with laughter for nigh-on 20minutes, before eventually agreeing to get the oil for me.

    It took another hour to unstick myself. I have never lived it down.

    <cough>

    ANYWAY, so any suggestions or comments welcome, or am I just going to have to suck-it up and be big and brave and get waxed regularly?

    1292015976
    Tupperwareheart [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't know whether to laugh or cry on your behalf at the wax story, you poor thing!

    I've had enough of my own horrible attempts at shaving and self waxing to be smooth (everything from itchy sore stubble to actually taking a nice layer of pussy skin off...) and now all i do is invest in an electric shaver and trim very, very close.

    As for shaving, would your husband help you? A new, sharp man's razor and some good shaving cream might help the soreness if you could get an even shave.

    Other than that, the only other alternatives have got to be regular professional waxing or going au naturalle aka hairy

    1292016185
    Tupperwareheart [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry for double posting but something else occured to me..

    With shaving, could you try lying down and put a mirror between your legs so you can lift your head to see what you're doing? I know, sounds very graceful but it works for me, my boobage gets in the way too otherwise.

    1292016292
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks tupper, I may look at the possibility of an electric shaver.

    I've asked the OH before to help with shaving, but he refuses as he doesnt want to have an accident and doing me a mischief.

    Feel free to laugh at the self-waxing, with 5 years hindsight on it I find it hilarious looking back!

    I tend to end up Au Naturalle but just dont like it, Hubby isnt a fan of it either.

    Right need to stop being a coward it seems and pay to be waxed!

    1292016392
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    I've tried nearly every concievable method of seeing myself shaving, and have discovered (to my cost) I am dangerous with a mirror, It's all backwards and I am uncoordinated at the best of times!

    1292016612
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    OMG I have just read that with Moonlight Sonata playing in the background and I can't help but laugh my friggin' ass off!! I'm so sorry, but that has lightened my rubbish day!

    I have had some bad experiences, espesh with the self wax strips, but never that bad!!

    LMAO glad I could be of service hun *giggles*

    1292016665
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    violeteyes wrote:

    that sounds so painful! i hate that dilemma. i usually shave but the smoothness last about a day before i get the rashy, itchy stubble then have to shave again. i tried a hair removal cream and it made the hair turn into a sort of elastic, which did not come off! i just dont know what to do anymore

    Nice to know i'm not the only one struggling to find an easy method

    ./comfort

    1292017427
    Tupperwareheart [sign in to see picture]
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    In a selfish way i'm comforted to know it's not just me that's struggling to find the answer too! Anything that involves completely removing the hair gives me awful ingrown hairs too

    *tea and foof sympathy to all*

    1292017531
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    HAH!

    Sorry.

    Thank you for some evening entertainment MsE! I did wonder why you didn't use a mirror...

    1292017615
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    *graciously accepts tea, and offers cookies*

    See I bet blokes would suddenly see the joy of hairy women, if we made them go through whatever techniques we put ourselves through.....

    1292017744
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    lol thanks WandA

    1292017867
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Funnily enough, me and the OH's uncle were talking earlier about random stuff and he mentioned when he was young and first tried using an electric shaver. He had a big beard at the time and he borrowed his dads brand new electric razor to shave it off. Well, he switched it on, put it on the thick beard on his cheek and of course it all snagged up and the razor truly stuck to his face! His cheek was nearly hacked to pieces by it! He had to shout on his dad to get the cut-throat razor to cut it off his face! Of course his dad was all over the floor laughing at him when he saw it! Lol!

    hahaha brilliant

    1292017990
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    I pluck all my hairs out with tweezers about once every 2 months ... takes a couple of hours each time. Every day I run a razor over the entire area to keep myself silky smooth and that takes all of about a minute!

    I tried epilating for a while but I got a tinsy bit of skin caught in it which tore and was a bit stingy!

    xxKPxx

    1292018106
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    I pluck all my hairs out with tweezers about once every 2 months ... takes a couple of hours each time. Every day I run a razor over the entire area to keep myself silky smooth and that takes all of about a minute!

    My god woman you must have the patience of a saint!

    1292018199
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    MsEllie wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    I pluck all my hairs out with tweezers about once every 2 months ... takes a couple of hours each time. Every day I run a razor over the entire area to keep myself silky smooth and that takes all of about a minute!

    My god woman you must have the patience of a saint!

    I find it weirdly therapeutic and actually quite enjoy the pain

    xxKPxx

    1292018262
    MsEllie [sign in to see picture]
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    ah thats fair enough. I'm the sort of pansy that winces plucking her eyebrows!

    1292018581
    Pixieking [sign in to see picture]
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    I just relived the two lovely hair removal experiences I had when I was a bit younger.

    First time I tried it, I found a tube of my mums experimental hair removal cream in the bathroom (she didn't buy it again, whether because she didn't like it or she suspected where half the tube dissapeared to, heaven knows) and just couldn't resist feeling what all this hairless lark was about. So, sitting waiting for the bath to run I slathered it on and watched with some amusement as the hair slowly turned blond at the tips. However, I didn't count on quite how much i'd need considering I was going from a full bush to nothing, and I ended to with a totally ragged mess, hair sticking to me, the bath, the floor and the so called scraper, and looking like something a toddler would do to pubic barbie.

    Trying to salvage the situation, I picked up the razor and tried to do my best with what was left.

    The end result, a burning mound of stubble, cuts and eventual ingrown hairs that took flaming ages to regrow.

    Being young obviously I tried shaving it again a few months later with little better results. Nowadays I just trim it really short with the electric trimmer I use to keep the beard down. It's a lot comfier and I don't spend my life wincing every time I feel a little hair of strubble jabbing me in the sack when I shift a leg.

    1292019972
    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh honey, I'm laughing so hard, but that's such a shame! Both the glueing and the father-interruption. Not a lucky one!

    I'm not much help, because I've just gotten adept enough at shaving to have it a cinch for me (sorry!). But if you do gown that road, try experimenting with positions. As a fellow boob-tastic chick, I find it best lying in the bath with one leg stretched over the side to pull the outer area as flat as possible with a curved spine to peer around the monsters (which tend to be a little less invasive when on my bag as they spludge across). Chances are, any suitable position will look moronic, so don't worry about how daft you look: just lock the door and squiggle until you're comfy and have a good vantage point. Also, tricks include exfoliating beforehand, use a good sharp razor (no blunt 5p yokes!), using conditioner instead of shaving gel (Ad actually was my source for this, and it really does work so well!), and using a gentle after-care cream (personally I go for Sudocrem) to minimise rashing. That's my tactic, and I shave ever other day, never have a rash, and always get nice and smooth with it.

    Waxing, I had the same issue with the self-heating strips when I tried them (the wax sticking to the skin and no hair coming off part, not the comedy of errors that ensued: I had baby oil handy so escaped that palavar!). I haven't tried the 'good' home wax kits, because I'm too wary, but from other reports, they are not even comparable. But like the razors, if you get cheap, you'll feel it.

    Whether it's waxing or using the creams, you probably will have to try about a few brands before you find one that suits you. I occassionally use Nair, and have no issue with that, but Veet makes me look plague-ridden. Other people have the inverse of that. It's completely personal, so all trial and error I'm afraid.

    1292020424
    glitter&gold [sign in to see picture]
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    MsEllie wrote:

    For those among us who prefer ourselves smooth... HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU MANAGE IT?!

    In one last ditch hope I decide to re-consult the instructions. Right,.. where are they.

    They were of course, inside the box. Stood on top of the cistern. A good 2meters away from my sticky situation.

    I end up hauling down the shower curtain and using the pole (which smacked me in the face bruising my eye and fattening my lip on the way down) I manage to swipe the box over towards me.

    "Any left-over wax can be softened and removed with baby oil".

    Brilliant. All I need to do is get baby oil from our daughters bedroom whilst being glued to the bath. After 10minutes of soul-searching, I realise I am going to have to ask my husband to help, there is no way around it.

    He's down stairs, I shout for him and he comes up into the bathroom. He comments about how I've been ages....

    "Could you bring me the baby oil?"

    "what on earth for?". After several attempts and pleading to get it whilst avoiding admitting what I'd done, I cave in and tell him. His reaction? to lean on the banister and howl with laughter for nigh-on 20minutes, before eventually agreeing to get the oil for me.

    It took another hour to unstick myself. I have never lived it down.

    <cough>

    ANYWAY, so any suggestions or comments welcome, or am I just going to have to suck-it up and be big and brave and get waxed regularly?

    Oh MsEllie you poor thing (so sorry but slight giggles!) But I promise they're solidarity "I know exactly how you feel" giggles xxx

    I'm a larger lady & suffer terribly when I try to shave because my thrupenny's just won't get out of the way!! I mean i've tried mirrors, edge of the bath, under the water everything.

    I tried epilation once but could only just stand it on my legs & when I tried it on my lady parts I bled so that went out the window! (along with the £75 bloody epilator!!)

    My worst nightmare was with hair removal cream. I'd done it & everything was fine but when I washed it off I realised I'd missed a couple of tiny patches so I reapplied thinking to myself "ooh there's a few bits at the sides - I'll get them too"

    Biggest fecking mistake I ever made!! I left it on for the required amount of time & the couple of stray patches at the top had gone fine but the cream i'd put on those side bits had bloody migrated while I was sat waiting & as I discovered when I got in the bath to wash it off - I'd given myself a 2nd degree chemical burn on either side of my lady parts!!

    I was so mortified I cried. Then had to cancel my date Then I spent the next 3 weeks rubbing sudocrem into the burn!!

    Now I have to go to a salon for the hollywood wax - its absolutely mortifying the 1st few times but the end result is worth it - & no more burnt kitty!!

    *sympathy hug*

    1292021174
    boobaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    aww hunni, I couldn't help but laugh, personally, I get my oh to do me with the electric razor every couple of weeks, he is now really good at and gets me as smooth as you can with an electric razor and no shaving rash, I have had the rash in the past from doing it myself and the itch of it growing back is terrible.

    TBH I don't mind been au natural but my oh prefers me shaved so I let him do it.

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