• Internet Dating

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    Paddy89 [sign in to see picture]
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    I was wondering if anyone here had tried it and what their experiences are. I'm shit at meeting women - I simply don't know where to go and what to say. I deteste clubs, pubs are for long periods of getting drunk and comedic, filthy, and philosophical conversation, and the girls at my uni are 'meh' at best (both physically and emotionally).

    I'm only 21 so I have no idea if this is a good thing for me to be looking at either. I feel pretty sad for thinking about checking it out but it seems to be growing more popular, and it seems to work for some people.

    So, any thoughts, tips, or advice? Really happy to hear anything anyone's got to say on the subject

    Ta,

    1291491908
    lilac_vix [sign in to see picture]
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    I have friends who have had great success with internet dating (including two weddings) I dont think your age matters. I'd rather meet people doing something I enjoy tho- if you have a hobby then finding a social way of indulging in it is a good way to meet like minded people. If your at uni, have you tried joining a club/ society?

    1291492345
    cala [sign in to see picture]
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    i met my other half on the internet, im 27 and hes 41, we been together 16 months and im so happy its wonderful.

    keep going u will find someone x

    1291492549
    glitter&gold [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya Paddy x

    I a little older than you (30) but I'm sure this will go for all ages!!

    I was in a similar situation to you until a few months ago - sick of being single (7 years ) but I either wasn't meeting men or the ones i did meet were all blah

    I grew up being made to feel like internet dating was for losers etc so at first I didn't tell anyone I was doing it I was so ashamed.

    I'm over that now though!!

    Your age is no barrier to internet dating. Plenty of people of all ages do it. Its almost fashionable now!!

    Its not all been moonlight & roses - you're dealing with humans so I was bound to meet a few arseholes- no different to normal dating!!

    I'd been on a few dates - nice enough guys & all that until I met my current OH & now I'm so glad I did it!!

    My best advice is to just make sure you're comfy before you meet up with anyone, chat for a while 1st. Common interests help of course but they're not essential. Its about how you feel about a person so don't think too much about what other people think.

    Safety advice: Until you get to know each other always meet in public places & have a trusted friend that know's what's going on standing by at the end of the phone just in case.

    & don't think of it as sad - its not like that anymore i promise. Everyone of my friends knows now & not one has said anything nasty. They're just happy that I'm happy & if any of your friends do say anything then they're not truly your friend x

    GG x

    1291492559
    Tupperwareheart [sign in to see picture]
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    I met my OH online and i'm 20 (nearly 21 too, eek!) - at first i did feel a bit weird about signing up for something like that but what the hell, it works!

    You will find a few people that you maybe don't get along with, but that's much the same as if you were to go out to meet people. I'd say give it a go. You have nothing to lose, even if you just have a giggle and realise its not for you.. but you might just find someone super lovely

    TWH x

    1291492878
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I met my OH online (long distance for 3 years, been together 5 and lived together 2) . Not internet dating, but I'll add my two penneths.

    I think the internet is a wonderful tool for meeting people - there are however many people in the world and the internet gives you wider scope to meet someone best suited to you!

    None of the people I meet are my "type" of people - they make fantastic friends, but a relationship wouldn't last. With WandA we took time to get to know each other, realised how compatable we are. You're more open, more confident online.

    Peronally - I don't tend to like the idea of signing up to dating "sites" or going to dating "nights" because I don't see the sense in forcing it. You're young - you don't *need* a partner....go out to meet people but not necessarily meet a partner!

    But in general - the internet is a great place to meet like minded people as long as you're safe!

    Adx

    Adx

    1291493047
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    glitter&gold wrote:

    & don't think of it as sad - its not like that anymore i promise. Everyone of my friends knows now & not one has said anything nasty. They're just happy that I'm happy & if any of your friends do say anything then they're not truly your friend x

    GG x

    Agreed - I don't think it's sad at all!

    My point about you being young is more a prompt to learn to be happy by yourself and a strong relationship will come with time :) Don't wish away your young single life because you never know when you'll meet the "one" and never have another chance to date and meet *new* people. I met my OH at 15, I wouldn't change it for the world, but I've never been single really.

    Adx

    1291493574
    glitter&gold [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    glitter&gold wrote:

    & don't think of it as sad - its not like that anymore i promise. Everyone of my friends knows now & not one has said anything nasty. They're just happy that I'm happy & if any of your friends do say anything then they're not truly your friend x

    GG x

    Agreed - I don't think it's sad at all!

    My point about you being young is more a prompt to learn to be happy by yourself and a strong relationship will come with time :) Don't wish away your young single life because you never know when you'll meet the "one" and never have another chance to date and meet *new* people. I met my OH at 15, I wouldn't change it for the world, but I've never been single really.

    Adx

    Ad's hit the nail on the head Paddy - you never know when you'll meet "the one" & you need to make sure you're happy in your own skin 1st - it'll make any relationship you do have that much stronger x

    1291493867
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think it's sad. I can understand your perspective, I'm not into going out to clubs much and I'm not sure where I'd try to meet someone if I wanted to.

    The internet is just another tool for meeting people, just think how many people in the past must have 'just settled' for someone? We can now be relationship consumers and 'shop' for people we want!

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    RealDemon [sign in to see picture]
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    If i found myself single again i'd definately try internet dating - you could filter out 90% of natural waste before you even arranged a date = perfect! :)

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    MissTerryCleavage [sign in to see picture]
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    I've met a few people through the internet, some good, some not so good, but all a good experience. I met my ex online and we had a great time together until the distance and a few other factors became too much.

    Make sure you feel happy that you know that you won't like everyone on there and everyone won't like you, and don't take that rejection personally, it's only natural after all, we don't fancy everyone we see.

    Chat to a few, filter them out and enjoy a few dates but don't pressurise yourself that you need to meet someone who you can have a relationship with, if it does, great but if it doesn't, at least you will have had a good laugh, well hopefully ;-)

    Give it a try, what's the worse that can happen?

    1291500792
    Strange Days [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with RealDemon - if I was to be single, I would absolutely try it. Still no g'tees.. but must be better than just 'chance'....

    SD

    1291502316
    Wench [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 15 Jan 2009

    I met my OH on an internet dating site. I was 19 at the time,he was 29. Within 3 months of us chatting he'd moved in with me at my parents house. I'm now 24 he is 33,34 next year,we have a 3 year old son,been married a year and living together for the past 3 1/2 years,I'd call that a succes.

    TBh i only joined beacuse my college course ahd ended badly,all the guys in the local pubs/clubs where all truely idiots,I live in a farming area so all were young farmers who idea of a good night was getting drunk then passing out on top of you ....not my scene. That and I was skint.

    Never have I been so happy to be penniless.

    Internet dating is nothing to be ashamed of when ask I proudly tell people how we met. Even his mother wasn't bother by it.

    1291507493
    smirnoff09 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 22 Apr 2010

    Internet dating can work and it does for many...be who you are and have fun...

    best of luck x

    1291508277
    chipNroll [sign in to see picture]
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    I met someone online once but it was by accident rather than the result of a wild hunt for a mate. Maybe try chatting to people on forums etc based around topics that interest you? I can't quite explain why but 'online dating' seems too, um, try-ey to me- the best relationships seem to be the ones that just happen.

    I'd also advise just making friends with as many girls as possible- even ones you don't fancy or 'likelike'. It'll boost your confidence around women, expand your social life and also in some weird way make you seem more dateable to women that you actually do like. Just my two pence*

    *disclaimer, I'm semi-drunk.

    1291508432
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    chipNroll wrote:

    I met someone online once but it was by accident rather than the result of a wild hunt for a mate. Maybe try chatting to people on forums etc based around topics that interest you? I can't quite explain why but 'online dating' seems too, um, try-ey to me- the best relationships seem to be the ones that just happen.

    I'd also advise just making friends with as many girls as possible- even ones you don't fancy or 'likelike'. It'll boost your confidence around women, expand your social life and also in some weird way make you seem more dateable to women that you actually do like. Just my two pence*

    *disclaimer, I'm semi-drunk.

    Great ramblings of a drunkard... errr I mean great advice here.

    1291509103
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    chipNroll wrote:

    I met someone online once but it was by accident rather than the result of a wild hunt for a mate. Maybe try chatting to people on forums etc based around topics that interest you? I can't quite explain why but 'online dating' seems too, um, try-ey to me- the best relationships seem to be the ones that just happen.

    I'd also advise just making friends with as many girls as possible- even ones you don't fancy or 'likelike'. It'll boost your confidence around women, expand your social life and also in some weird way make you seem more dateable to women that you actually do like. Just my two pence*

    *disclaimer, I'm semi-drunk.

    Plus you never know whether you'll start fancying them once you get to knowthem as a person!

    I didn't fancy WandA for ages, but only because it never crossed my mind that something would happen between us! He was *dead* set against long distance when we first started talking!

    Adx

    1291509323
    chipNroll [sign in to see picture]
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    Exactly Alicia! that was my nice way of saying 'as if all the girls in the whole of your university are so physically abhorrent so as to be unworthy of your love, get over yourself Mr'. But that seemed a bit rude...

    1291511890
    Paddy89 [sign in to see picture]
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    chipNroll wrote:

    I met someone online once but it was by accident rather than the result of a wild hunt for a mate. Maybe try chatting to people on forums etc based around topics that interest you? I can't quite explain why but 'online dating' seems too, um, try-ey to me- the best relationships seem to be the ones that just happen.

    I'd also advise just making friends with as many girls as possible- even ones you don't fancy or 'likelike'. It'll boost your confidence around women, expand your social life and also in some weird way make you seem more dateable to women that you actually do like. Just my two pence*

    *disclaimer, I'm semi-drunk.

    No worries, I'm half-ratted now myself. Fantastic dinner at my dad's with some of his mates. Plenty of the black-stuff, not that I need much anyway.

    I know what you mean about trying to hard. I met a girl a couple years back on one of those god-awful websites where you meet peopel before starting uni. LOVELY girl, texted and chatted for ages. Met up and she was still lovely, but possibly too nice. I'm a complete bastard and I need a cynical sense of humour in friends and potential partners to be able to stand their presence for more than two minutes. And if I'm completely honest, she wasn't the best-looking girl ever. I'm still quite shallow if I'm honest (don't look at me like that, who isn't at my ages?), and I put part of that down to the fact many of my lady friends are highly attractive and rather well-endowded in the chesticular region. Which leads me on nicely to my next bit.

    I'm VERY good at being friends with girls. I certainly have more lady friends at uni than guys, it's just how things have happened. I'm certainly one of those guys with 'FRIEND ZONE' tattoed in special ink on my head, As for my friends at home, whom I love much much more than my uni friends, I worry sometimes I might get too attracted to them, and it just isn't gonna happen like that. No matter what you guys say!

    Now, I'm gonna go and get ready for bed, freshen up, grab a drink, and read all the rest of you guyses stuff and respond in a moment.

    Much love,

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    Paddy89 [sign in to see picture]
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    Tupperwareheart wrote:

    I met my OH online and i'm 20 (nearly 21 too, eek!) - at first i did feel a bit weird about signing up for something like that but what the hell, it works!

    You will find a few people that you maybe don't get along with, but that's much the same as if you were to go out to meet people. I'd say give it a go. You have nothing to lose, even if you just have a giggle and realise its not for you.. but you might just find someone super lovely

    TWH x

    Right, think I may have to respond to people individualy or my brain might explode. Anywho...

    That's interesting - good to know people my age are using this! And yeh, I'm actually 21 on Monday. Fuckin terrifying! What site did you sign up to, out of interest? Here's to findin someone 'super lovely'

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