• Condoms and safe sex....musings

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    Lou232 [sign in to see picture]
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    So we hear loads about condoms being the ultimate thing in safe sex, but I don't really see it. OK, so when used properly they're pretty damn good but there's the qualifier...properly. What do you do when the condom splits / falls off or whatever? Morning after pills don't deal with STDs and people tend not to suggest getting tested in those situations. Some STDs are harder to catch that others (for example, HIV is quite hard to transfer via PIV sex - you actually have only a 1 in 200 chance of catching it - don't risk it though!), but even so it's not a worry you want to add in.

    So, here's my query...people are really hot on safe sex but all they suggest is condoms. Fine for short term or one night stands but surely in a long relationship where there is a chance you'll get drunk or fed up of using them, they are a bit of a risk - so why don't people push getting tested more? I hate using condoms with my OH - they really freak me out. Solution - we have both been tested. Surely that's better? I will admit that for people with preexisting incurable STDs condoms are the best plan, but what about for everyone else? Plus if we all got tested more often, we'd have lower rates of things like Chlamydia. Thoughts anyone? I'd like the new campaign - Slip it on, get checked out or get out. Lxx

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Errr... I think this is the general consensus.

    No sex is risk free, a partner could be lying, a test could be negative, your partner might be the vector of a brand new super duper freaky evolved STD! Safe sex is about decreasing risk.

    Condoms are the best method to use with people who you do not have the same security you would expect in a relationship. Only barrier methods are effective against STD's and femidoms are, frankly, shite, hence the emphasis on condoms.

    Being tested for STDs obviously doesn't stop the risk of pregnancy, a concern which worries more people in relationships than STDs. The same problem about forgetting and effectiveness can be applied to the pill and some other methods. Condoms have no side effects.

    Condoms are not ideal for everyone but they're the most popular method for many reasons.

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    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    If your loyal to your partner and you're in a committed relationship I don't see how getting tested frequently reduces your chances of getting STI/Ds. Although it is a relief off your mind if you get concerned or worried.

    There have been quite a few campaigns on safer sex including getting checked out and using condoms. It's "normal" to use them but I know a lot of people that have settled down and trust their partner with not getting any new nasty things as they're solely in a closed relationship. In those situations birth control may be used.

    I agree with you that there are limited options for safer sex on the aspect of catching STD/Is. You should get yourself regularly checked when theres a chance of a condom splitting and/or when you have multiple partners as there's an increased chance. In places like Brooke and even the local doctors have free postal chlamydia kits so it's more accessible in this day and age to get quickly tested for common STDs.

    I don't use condoms with my OH as it's a closed committed relationship. We prefer it without and we're both clean (have been tested before).

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    xxxxchelzsxxxx [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree more people should be tested, but alot of people are that bothered about STD's its a sad but true fact.... Ive seen docs on TV where teens just arnt that fussed anymore!

    Condoms for me are perfect and im married!! Theres so mamny different types that its always an experiance! I dont think they are boring, and i do ejoy sex without condoms alot more! But having got pregnant whilst being on the pill this is the only thing that works for me, as i dont see myself having anymore anytime soon!

    I think condoms are the way forward, splitting happens and thats life, its happened to me before but i was in a long term relationship and we were both each others first! I think people need to be more aware of there own sexual health... its still taboo to be honest! x

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    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
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    when im in a long term commititted relationship, we stop using condoms after having sexual health check ups they come back all clear, and use the pill for protection against pregnacy.

    when im in a new relationship and move on to having sex we use condoms to protect against STI/ds

    if single and having one night stands or in a new relathipship then condoms are used.

    well thats what i thought (most) people would do to be honest...

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    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the view that everyone suggests condoms is that they're the most easily and quickly accessible method if you suddenly find yourself in a sexy situation. No, they're not necessarily the best method, but they're convenient.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Just seen this thing on the news of children being able to get the contraceptive pill over the counter with no permission from their parents or GP!

    Bloody ridiculous if you ask me!

    Depends on age and safety checks like blood pressure but I don't see why not if it can be done safely.

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    DrtyBoy [sign in to see picture]
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    At least they are trying to protect themselves in some way - but i wish condoms were easier to get hold of rather than the embarassment of going to boots etc

    I remember as a young lad it being VERY difficult to get them easily without having to go to a local GP or Boots but needing them on a friday night etc.

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    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Just seen this thing on the news of children being able to get the contraceptive pill over the counter with no permission from their parents or GP!

    Bloody ridiculous if you ask me!

    Personally, I'd prefer my child went behind my back and got themselves on the pill than being too scared to ask me and ending up pregnant.

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Just seen this thing on the news of children being able to get the contraceptive pill over the counter with no permission from their parents or GP!

    Bloody ridiculous if you ask me!

    Depends on age and safety checks like blood pressure but I don't see why not if it can be done safely.

    Thats a big 'If' though. There isn't just one contraceptive pill for everyone, and like all drugs, they all have side effects too. I'm not sure what the minimum age is, but I don't like that idea much at all.

    they should be going to the gp to hear about risks and things and get themselves sorted out!

    i started on the combined pill but because im overweight and smoke and my mum had a heart attack in march they changed me to the mini pill, i was on it for 3 months then went back to get myself checked for bp etc, the doctor seemed very shocked that i had gone back to get checked out, so i imagine people don't... so if people are being allowed to get the pill without seeing their gp it just seems a little dangerous!

    also i think condoms are great! i think if they work for somebody they should use them for sure! i am on the pill but use condoms most of the time!

    VW x

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    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
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    Vampyrewillow wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Just seen this thing on the news of children being able to get the contraceptive pill over the counter with no permission from their parents or GP!

    Bloody ridiculous if you ask me!

    Depends on age and safety checks like blood pressure but I don't see why not if it can be done safely.

    Thats a big 'If' though. There isn't just one contraceptive pill for everyone, and like all drugs, they all have side effects too. I'm not sure what the minimum age is, but I don't like that idea much at all.

    they should be going to the gp to hear about risks and things and get themselves sorted out!

    i started on the combined pill but because im overweight and smoke and my mum had a heart attack in march they changed me to the mini pill, i was on it for 3 months then went back to get myself checked for bp etc, the doctor seemed very shocked that i had gone back to get checked out, so i imagine people don't... so if people are being allowed to get the pill without seeing their gp it just seems a little dangerous!

    also i think condoms are great! i think if they work for somebody they should use them for sure! i am on the pill but use condoms most of the time!

    VW x

    i agree with ecks, with this all the way. though i hope if i had a child they would feel they could come to talk to me about anything, like i could do with my mum.

    i think people are forgetting that now pharmacists offer a wide range of servises to take some pressure of the GPs, for instance you can go for mini health check up at my local one, they do thinkgs regarding smoking and weight loss as well.

    and pharmacists know alot about meds, and how they work and what can cause problems ect ect.

    Dxx

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    I am also with you and ecks, if i had a child i would rather they went behind my back than got pregnant, and i understand peoples reluctance to go to GP's as there are so many horror stories about nasty GP's! but personally i would rather go to a GP for my contraceptive advice, and i think for the first time someone going on the pill should probably talk to a GP, thats just my opinion as i think a nice chat with a GP can really help,

    maybe i just have a great doctors surgery haha, but i would always go to them first as opposed to a pharmacy

    VW x

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    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
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    Vampyrewillow wrote:

    I am also with you and ecks, if i had a child i would rather they went behind my back than got pregnant, and i understand peoples reluctance to go to GP's as there are so many horror stories about nasty GP's! but personally i would rather go to a GP for my contraceptive advice, and i think for the first time someone going on the pill should probably talk to a GP, thats just my opinion as i think a nice chat with a GP can really help,

    maybe i just have a great doctors surgery haha, but i would always go to them first as opposed to a pharmacy

    VW x

    i understand what your saying, but i think the point of this service is that it be girls under the age of 16 who probably feel they cant go to there GPs in case of the parents finding out, someone seeing them ect ect.

    to be honest i personally think if you cant go to buy condoms or go and get your self put on the pill at the doctors then you shouldnt be having sex, but sadly the world doesnt work like that and if this means this stops some underage prgancys them im all for it.

    Dxx

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the biggest issue to your suggestion, Lou, is that the only way you can be self reliant in terms of safe sex, is to use condoms, or abstain - just because your sexual partner claims to have been tested and be all clear doesn't mean they are!

    If you want to take responsibility for your own health then you have to use condoms. Which is why condoms are pushed for people in new relationships.

    It's all about weighing up the risks and balancing it out - if you've been with your partner ages, know each other inside out, completely trust each other and get tested regularly, then the chance of him/her lying will be lessened and the risk may be less so you may choose to lose the condoms.

    Prevention is better than cure and getting tested is retrospective.

    Adx

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    diamonds wrote:

    Vampyrewillow wrote:

    I am also with you and ecks, if i had a child i would rather they went behind my back than got pregnant, and i understand peoples reluctance to go to GP's as there are so many horror stories about nasty GP's! but personally i would rather go to a GP for my contraceptive advice, and i think for the first time someone going on the pill should probably talk to a GP, thats just my opinion as i think a nice chat with a GP can really help,

    maybe i just have a great doctors surgery haha, but i would always go to them first as opposed to a pharmacy

    VW x

    i understand what your saying, but i think the point of this service is that it be girls under the age of 16 who probably feel they cant go to there GPs in case of the parents finding out, someone seeing them ect ect.

    to be honest i personally think if you cant go to buy condoms or go and get your self put on the pill at the doctors then you shouldnt be having sex, but sadly the world doesnt work like that and if this means this stops some underage prgancys them im all for it.

    Dxx

    i whole heartedly agree with your last sentence there!

    most definately! i'm tired of so many young girls around me being pregnant! my 16 year old cousin is pregnant, she hasn't even ;left school yet =/

    VW x

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Just seen this thing on the news of children being able to get the contraceptive pill over the counter with no permission from their parents or GP!

    Bloody ridiculous if you ask me!

    Depends on age and safety checks like blood pressure but I don't see why not if it can be done safely.

    Thats a big 'If' though. There isn't just one contraceptive pill for everyone, and like all drugs, they all have side effects too. I'm not sure what the minimum age is, but I don't like that idea much at all.

    There is no minimum age and I don't think there should be.

    I went on the pill at 15 as a treatment for endometriosis. As long as the relevant information is passed on then I don't see the issue.

    Adx

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    Lou232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Interesting stuff :) thanks all. I was just thinking about it today and wondering about the whole thing - the government just doesn't seem so interested in pointing out testing and it confuses me. I totally agree that it is a trust thing, you have to be able to believe them but then it works both ways - they have to believe you. There's a huge stigma attached too, so it's likely that a lot of people would lie. The pregnancy thing is also a very good point - I was on the pill anyway for medical reasons, but for other people it may not be so simple. Access to FPC isn't very good in many areas as it is so it would be even more difficult. Partly why I'm pro easier access to contraception - the fact you have to go in after a month on the handout pills is brilliant - it gives people more control.

    I guess there are pros and cons to all of this! Oh, and I'm all for condoms in initial stages of relationships, was just considering the more long term options, especially with the ugly spectre of latex allergies looming....for some reason I find the non-latex ones are less reliable. Hmm, anyhow, perhaps the real issue is the shocking level of sex ed people have? I never had proper sex ed classes...I'd never even touched a condom before I met my OH and I had no idea about testing (innocent thing I was). I was lucky in that he's really into the whole thing, but it's still appalling I got to 18 like that. Either that or this idea that unsafe sex is somehow better...a fallacy continued by the porn industry - there is so little porn with obvious safe sex practises (ie condoms). Grr.

    Thanks for commenting :) shall muse away Lxx

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with most of what you said Lou. We've had some great discussions about many things including sex ed, why not dig a few threads out?

    Sex ed is dire, the real shame is that if you do make an effort to teach kids you're perversely labelled a pervert and encouraging sex. Tools.

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    TRE [sign in to see picture]
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    I think both partners getting tested is the best idea because until you do that, surely there is a risk from giving oral sex with regard to getting some STD's? Thats what it always seemed to say when I read up on STD's, though many think there isn't a risk on giving oral sex for either a man or a woman.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    TRE wrote:

    I think both partners getting tested is the best idea because until you do that, surely there is a risk from giving oral sex with regard to getting some STD's? Thats what it always seemed to say when I read up on STD's, though many think there isn't a risk on giving oral sex for either a man or a woman.

    Indeed. Oral sex can spread STDs but it is generally less risky. Still worth wrapping up I imagine though!

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