• Teenagers & Condoms (Bit of a Debate?)

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    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a little on the fence about this debate.

    I agree if teenagers or any age group for that matter want to have sex that much they wont use protection if it isnt readily available.

    There are a lot of sex myths around, teenagers hear quite a few and listen to them more as a lot of the time they arent actually told that much about sex ed apart from the simple conception thing. I was at school less than 4 years ago and they never told me. They never discussed contraception. A lot of parents feel uneasy about talking to their children/teenagers about sex and then contraception as they dont want to feel pushy, embarrassed or dont always know the right time. Therefore a lot of teenagers dont know a lot about contraception.

    I agree that for a lot of teenagers, going into a chemist and buying condoms is a embarrassing and daunting experience. You have that or the condom vending machines that are what 3 condoms for £2? Thats a lot of money especially for most teenagers who dont have a huge amount of money.

    When I was 16, I went to the doctors with a friend who wanted to go on the pill and get some condoms. She was 15. Instead of the doctor simply saying that we were a little young if he had to but congratulate us on actually trying to be safe, he gave us a huge lecture about how stupid and young we were and how we shouldnt even be thinking about sex. He basically turned her away and said rethink about the pill. Gave us 4 condoms each and a chlamydia test. We were very embarrassed and annoyed.

    I feel that some teenagers do realise about sex and the risks but still do it anyway, however those that are trying to usually end up embarrassed, annoyed and spending a lot when they dont need to.

    That being said, there are some adults who do know about safe sex (or think they do) and have access to better help without embarrassment but some just dont care.

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    Doug [sign in to see picture]
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    that doctor should have been sacked for malpractice, if your friend got pregnant he could easily be put to blame for that. Such a stupid thing for a doctor to do, and if someone in power says you shouldn';t do something, most teenagers will then go right ahead and do it anyway.

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    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Doug wrote:

    that doctor should have been sacked for malpractice, if your friend got pregnant he could easily be put to blame for that. Such a stupid thing for a doctor to do, and if someone in power says you shouldn';t do something, most teenagers will then go right ahead and do it anyway.

    Indeed.
    Another time I went to the doctors, I had a UTI (my mum dipped me) but needed to go to the nurse to get the antibiotics. She gave me 4 or 5 days worth and book with the gp if it hadnt gone away. around 3 days later it had got better but then after the course ran out, it started to get worse again. I booked in with the gp. I explained what had happened and what the nurse had said. He didnt dip me but simply said well you either have a bad shaped uterus or something or you need to go to the GUM clinic to get tested. Once those tests are back and IF (he emphasised a lot) they are clear then come back for an internal examination.

    I was furious, I told my mum who then had to get a nurse to pinch some antibiotics from work.

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    GHxx [sign in to see picture]
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    I think teenagers will always want to have sex ( I did and nothing was going to stop me) but it was drilled into me how important the use of condoms were when i first started out, my mum told me about being pregnant and that was more of an issue that STI's at that age - not its the other way round for me.

    I hated condoms from day one but I used them with my first boyfriend for months until i went on the pill, they should be given to under 16s i think, at least then they're known and seen as essential, also if guys are given them at a younger age they can practice putting them on right - same for girls so there's not so much hype and risk not putting them on correctly.

    xGHx

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    GHxx [sign in to see picture]
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    * now its the other way round for me

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    Ilovemyman [sign in to see picture]
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    chels18 wrote:

    Ok I was just thinking what Denise said about JLS helping sell condoms to younger teenagers and a while back there was a campaign to get sexual health clinics into schools so teenagers (under 16s as well of course) could have a place to get free condoms, safe sex advice etc etc etc...

    I had a massive debate with a friend about it because she said it encouraged them to have sex where I think kids are gonna do it WHATEVER (condom on or off) and better to arm them with all the info, a place to talk about it AND condoms so they can do it safely...

    What does everyone think?

    Yes i totally agree, they have all of these hormones flying around and if they are going to do it it's better that they have condoms and use them! If my daughter comes to me ans says she wants to go on the pill or needs condoms i will help her out as much as i can.x

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    http://www.nightlightcondoms.com/home.html

    For sex in the park - it's safe *and* useful...apparently.

    Adx

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    Prometheus [sign in to see picture]
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    The legal age in England is 16, but we all know most people are losing their V cards at about the age of 14..

    It would be better if we have more condom clinics in school so then not everyone starts a family at the age of 16 and lives off of benefits for the next twenty years while spending their gyro down at the pub.

    Back in my day, me and a few mates use to take a bus up to the nearest Connections to get our free condoms, kids these days don't even bother with them.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Prometheus wrote:

    The legal age in England is 16, but we all know most people are losing their V cards at about the age of 14..

    It would be better if we have more condom clinics in school so then not everyone starts a family at the age of 16 and lives off of benefits for the next twenty years while spending their gyro down at the pub.

    Back in my day, me and a few mates use to take a bus up to the nearest Connections to get our free condoms, kids these days don't even bother with them.

    Not all kids

    I also don't think the average age of losing viginity is 14.

    Adx

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Prometheus wrote:

    The legal age in England is 16, but we all know most people are losing their V cards at about the age of 14..

    It would be better if we have more condom clinics in school so then not everyone starts a family at the age of 16 and lives off of benefits for the next twenty years while spending their gyro down at the pub.

    Back in my day, me and a few mates use to take a bus up to the nearest Connections to get our free condoms, kids these days don't even bother with them.

    Warning: The Daily Mail and other populist right wing dross can prove hazardous to reader's health and their faculties of reasoning.

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    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    Prometheus wrote:

    The legal age in England is 16, but we all know most people are losing their V cards at about the age of 14..

    It would be better if we have more condom clinics in school so then not everyone starts a family at the age of 16 and lives off of benefits for the next twenty years while spending their gyro down at the pub.

    Back in my day, me and a few mates use to take a bus up to the nearest Connections to get our free condoms, kids these days don't even bother with them.

    Not all kids

    I also don't think the average age of losing viginity is 14.

    Adx

    I agree, although within certain groups it might well be that young. It's always wise to adjust self-reported sexual activity for bias - they may well be claiming more experience than they really have in order to impress (or not to feel left out!!). It's quite concieveable that the "last" one in a group of friends, after years of mocking remarks and jokes, finally loses his virginity to keep up with peers who themselves are still virgins, but are presenting themselves as experienced.

    And speaking for myself, condoms were top of the checklist when I was preparing to lose my virginity (although I'm not sure if I really counted as a "kid" at the time).

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    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
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    Regarding JLS, I admire their intentions but in all honesty I don't think it'll make a jot of difference.

    I doubt anyone will be persuaded to have sex earlier by a trendy boy band & I doubt that anyone ill-informed enough to not use protection on their first time will catch their campaign (which seems to be in GUM clinics - if I've read correctly).

    The people who visit GUM clinics are already going to have a fair idea of the pros & cons of protection without JLS's help.

    Agree with comments so far about school needing to focus sex-ed on the emotional aspect of sex as well as contraception. When I was at school (sex-ed about 16 years ago I guess) it was so factual & clinical that none of us could relate to it.

    I guess that using popstars might help with this aspect of sex-ed but I think JLS would have achieved more for the country's sexual health by not attaching themselves to a brand.

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    chels18 [sign in to see picture]
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    condoms should be given to them free... every month in sex ed class. Yes they will blow them up, yes they will fill them with water, yes they will use them as play toys - but you might get one guy who uses it and stops one girl from getting pregnant and then, its worth it.

    I was a teen with loads of information on sex/safe sex/condoms/pill... but I still didn't use them and I ended up pregnant and had Chlamydia so I don't think its just "educating" our teens... I think its given them the tools they need... not just having them available for those who have the guts to go get them!

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm wondering if they got paid... You'd think so with it being a brand thing.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    chels18 wrote:

    condoms should be given to them free... every month in sex ed class. Yes they will blow them up, yes they will fill them with water, yes they will use them as play toys - but you might get one guy who uses it and stops one girl from getting pregnant and then, its worth it.

    I was a teen with loads of information on sex/safe sex/condoms/pill... but I still didn't use them and I ended up pregnant and had Chlamydia so I don't think its just "educating" our teens... I think its given them the tools they need... not just having them available for those who have the guts to go get them!

    Information isn't the same as education though. Real education makes a teen realise that yes it *can* happen to you, yes it *is* common and no there's no other way of avoiding it.

    Many people know why we should have safe sex, but many people also think it won't happen to them, or they're not promiscuous enough (it only takes one) or it's not that bad.

    Those people might be informed but they aren't educated.

    Adx

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    Doug [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    I'm wondering if they got paid... You'd think so with it being a brand thing.

    Prob not that much, more likely durex have paid for the rights to put them on, and JLS get a cut of that.

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    i am 19 years old and never got a lesson in sex education until i was 18... i had been sex since i was 16 so slightly pointless!

    either way i didn't get knocked up

    but there are girls my age and younger than me with 2 babies! you cannot tell me when they first got pregnant nobody told them about condoms, of couse they did they just didn't want to use them

    JLS having condoms isnt going to make people use condoms, the people who use condoms or other contraception are the ones smart enough to know about it in the first place

    i always knew i could get free condoms from the brook, i've been once, i've bought all the other condoms i have ever used. its actually not that embarrassing nowadays, i bought my first pack when i was 16 and 3 months and nobody batted an eye;lid!

    i know girls who use abortion as a method of contraception because her boyfriend wont use condoms and she doesn't want the pill or anything else, so she has had 3 abortions so far, shes 19 (actually i havent spoken to her since she was 17 and she had 3 by then)

    all i'm saying is all this ridiculous stuff about JLS usnt going to work, and i dont think sex education works either, these girls and boys dont listen in any other lesson, why will they listen in a sex education lesson,

    VW x

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Vampyrewillow wrote:

    i am 19 years old and never got a lesson in sex education until i was 18... i had been sex since i was 16 so slightly pointless!

    either way i didn't get knocked up

    but there are girls my age and younger than me with 2 babies! you cannot tell me when they first got pregnant nobody told them about condoms, of couse they did they just didn't want to use them

    JLS having condoms isnt going to make people use condoms, the people who use condoms or other contraception are the ones smart enough to know about it in the first place

    i always knew i could get free condoms from the brook, i've been once, i've bought all the other condoms i have ever used. its actually not that embarrassing nowadays, i bought my first pack when i was 16 and 3 months and nobody batted an eye;lid!

    i know girls who use abortion as a method of contraception because her boyfriend wont use condoms and she doesn't want the pill or anything else, so she has had 3 abortions so far, shes 19 (actually i havent spoken to her since she was 17 and she had 3 by then)

    all i'm saying is all this ridiculous stuff about JLS usnt going to work, and i dont think sex education works either, these girls and boys dont listen in any other lesson, why will they listen in a sex education lesson,

    VW x

    I don't really think it's fair to say that it's the fault of the kids - yes some kids are planks and will get themselves in to a lot of trouble because they think it's cool or whatever. But there are many kids who don't listen in class because they don't understand, or they do understand so quickly they're bored. There are kids who are planks because the only role model they've had are parents who don't give a shit and the kids are forced into crap schools because their not wealthy. Yes once you get to your teen years you have to take responsibility for yourself, but it's hard for kids who've had no opportunity in life and poor education.

    I think a good education system is a key priority in fixing "broken britain" because if we can get kids to care about things, and understand the value of hard work, rather than just following in the steps of their parents then hopefully we can get 3rd generation kids off the dole and into work!

    As a kid born purely by chance - you can't help who your parents are or what your opportunities are - it's unsuprising that those kids with bad role models go on to be bad role models in the future.

    Unfortunately - 2 main things affect education - 1 is the quality of your own parents, and 1 is the wealth of your parents....if you have family who isn't well off, but they're hard working and caring and try their best to do right by you, you'll probably work out ok, if you have useless but rich parents you'll probably work out ok - but if you have neither, you're basically written off.

    Adx

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    I definately understand about the start in life, i work with young children myself and understand the stresses and strains,

    i went to a pretty bad school, which is why i ended up with no sex education, my mum didn't really talk to me about sex education and my partner was clueless as he had been sleeping with a previous girlfriend with no condoms and telling him taking her pill once a week was enough.

    the girl i said was using abortion had a wealthy family who cared about her, it was her abusive boyfriend who made her the way she is.

    i am of the belief it is parents who fuck up lives, there is a child i was teaching last year and he was 3 years old and you could already see he was going to be a little bugger when he grew up as his parents didn't care for him very much.

    i just really don't see sex education working, its always just a laugh, the girls (and the boys) need a reality check and to be shown what life is really like for someone with a baby at a young age, my cousin had a baby at 18 and thought it would be really easy, she has no money and spends what she has on booze, she doesn't deserve a child, yes she had a terrible upbringing, but at 17 you should know how to not get pregnant, if you know what sex is then you know what a condom is and what they stop!

    its not hard to understand that if you have sex without a condom/contraception you can get pregnant and in a huge majority of cases it will mess up your life!

    alot of the people i know who are teen mums, and i know a shockingly huge amount, didn't want a baby... so why were they having sex without condoms?! having a JLS condom won't change things, and having some idiot come in with a green dildo and get you to put a condom on in front of your class isn't going to change things because it isn't serious,

    why not have sex education in compulsory mentor one on one sessions, where the child won't get bored or whatever, the whole class lessons dont work because they become a joke!

    the fact that at 19 i have to have sex education confuses me, the girls in my class are mainly 18-26 surely we're already having sex... and we're doing childcare, we know how babies are made, why not reach out to younger teens in a way they may respond, i am sick of hearing my group tutor go on about STI's, i am 19 aren;'t i old enough to decide if i want to hear this? but if i want to be paid i have to attend. they would be better usng that time doing one on ones with young people, maybe 'people at risk' of pregnancy instead of wasting their time on me!

    VW x

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry about the ramble by the way, it is something i am quite "GRR" about!

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