Sex and Stress?

 I read in a book recently that when women get stressed, their sex drive decreases, whilst the opposite is apparently true for men. The book didn't back this up so it left me wondering if it is fact or fiction. The statement is certainly true when applied to me, but how about to you, or your partner? At the moment I'm working a lot, have no time for a social life or a love life, and I can't even seem to muster the enthusiasm to reach into the bedside drawer of a night for the trusty LH Erotic Rocket 2.0. When I do, the results aren't what I'm used to. 

I know it'll pass, but I thought it might be an interesting discussion to have here on the forums. So, what effects does stress have on your sex drive? And when you're not feeling in the mood for a full-blown session, what is your go-to quick-fix toy? 

Mrs. TW x

P.S. Sorry for the absence, work has taken over my life and I can't get the forums with my mobile internet! 

That could be true.... When I'm stressed or upset sex barely enters my mind. Whereas talking to a manfriend the other day he said when he's stressed or has assignments his sex drive increases and he ends up wanting it several times a day. 

I don't really have a go-to toy, If I'm not in the mood I just leave it.

Stress decreases sex drive for both sexes as far as I'm aware. If you are stressed it can cause a whole list of physical problems and decrease of sex drive is also a symptom.

I've never heard of it being the opposite for men.

When you are stressed out, you don't really feel up to sex, right?

Sorry to hear your having a stressful time though. Seems a re-occuring theme on here the past few days..

chipNroll wrote:

That could be true.... When I'm stressed or upset sex barely enters my mind. Whereas talking to a manfriend the other day he said when he's stressed or has assignments his sex drive increases and he ends up wanting it several times a day. 

I don't really have a go-to toy, If I'm not in the mood I just leave it.

Hmm. I've never known about mens sex drive increasing through stress.

Though now I think on it, it may make some sense, as having sex is a sort of release machanism for the stress and you may feel better after an orgasm. Maybe women have a more difficult time because of mental blocks and difficulties in actually reaching an orgasm. Though I suppose sometimes, when I am under stress, masturbating can be helpful as a comfort thing. Not looking for an orgasm, just lazily cupping my genitals and gentle stroking..

He said something about built up tension and release if that makes things a bit clearer...

We allway's find sex does deffinately releive the stress but sometimes it's a long time before we realize that's the problem

 I'm pretty sure orgasms have been proven to relieve stress, but it's getting the drive up to actually achieve one that seems to be harder for women. It's also good for headaches... sometimes! 

If I have a headache, an O just makes it worse.. never had it feel better.

I find it's good for a back ache too

All very well and good...but if I was in bed stressed with a headache and sore back, I just couldn't be bothered.

ah ha but could the oh is the question

I find I get very low when I'm stressed or anxious and can barely find the energy to put the kettle on, never mind anything else.

Recently though, in a bid to manage the anxious times I've been going through these past couple of weeks, I've made a point of running a bath and trying to chill out and then have a little solo play, either in the bath or with my toys.

I'm lucky in the sense that theres a couple of hours each day when I'm alone in the house, so having an hour all to myself a couple of times a week is 'do-able' for me.

I do find that once I've set aside time to do this, although it's not very sexy to schedual time, I do feel more cheerful and subsequently more cuddly with my Husband.

I reckon that even if we're not intimate as much as our norm during periods of stress, it keeps things ticking over so to speak and lifts my mood so that life doesn't swamp me.  I do find it a huge stress relief to orgasm.

My Husband has a very pressured job and does very long (14 hour) days, and I got him a stroker which he sometimes uses when he's getting ready in the morning in the bathroom.  He'll often say 'I do love that stroker' and wink as he leaves for work and that in turn sets me off.

Full on sex might not on the agenda during a very busy week, but we still make time for an 'O' here and there, with or without each other!

I have suffered from both stress and depression, and I can honestly say sex was the last thing on my mind, my housemate who is female is also stressed and she says her drive is way down too. So i  would say the bok is wrong personally. I guess things affect people in different ways, everyone deals with things in their own way, like mid life crisis'!

I don't think sex drive increases in both, however perhaps with your man friend he uses it as a 'cure'.

As mentioned it can help relieve stress so perhaps even though he doesn't feel like it (or maybe now does through some kind of conditioning) he still does to help deal with it.

Interesting point anyways!

WandA wrote:

I don't think sex drive increases in both, however perhaps with your man friend he uses it as a 'cure'.

I think this is what I was getting at, though more of a coping aid than a cure!  If only!

When I'm stressed I crave sex... but dont consider myself man

My stress leads me to crave a sexual release and I get more and more worked up if i dont get that release, so toys are usually the answer - afterwards i relax for a bit until i start to think about all the things im stressing over!

xGHx

My sex drive does go down when I'm stressed or depressed, but sometimes I still get the urge for a good hard session, despite stress levels.

My OH handles stress really badly, and amongst other things it makes him physically ill, and his sex drive suffers quite badly from it.

I do find when I'm stressed I feel like I can't be bothered, but if I go for it I almost always feel a hell of a lot better afterwards.  Guess it's one of those things where making yourself get in the mood is hard, but worth it.

I (M) find that when I get stressed sex just doesn't come into the equation which for me isn't usual. My Mrs has to work very hard to overcome that.

For me, it depends on the typeof stress ;

If it is just general everyday stress (Such as work related) then I do actually like sex as a source of stress relief.

However , if it is stress based on more serious issues (Relationships etc) then no, I do find it is the last thing I want. And in this situation, I too find reaching to the top drawer a challenge .

x L-Y x