• Tracy Cox and Julie Peasgood

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been reading this:

    http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/08/10/bad-sex-advice-fox-sexpert/

    And Ad being unhappy with this post:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2010/08/17/julie-peasgood-sex-tips-august-17/

    It got me thinking generally how weak 'sexpert' advice often is. What do other people think of both LH 'sexperts' in particular? This isn't an attempt to knock anyone but I think being in 'the public eye' makes attempt at criticism of 'sexperts' a valid point.

    I generally have a problem with advice from people of supposed authorities anyway, I mean plenty of people who have been in similar situations could probably offer better advice rather than the generalised stuff these people come out with. I also feel trying to solve such a complex problem in a few words without direct feedback back is just as likely to be damaging, as it is helpful. l I think there is often not enough info in the first place to pass a valid judgement.

    It seems all very buzzwordy/spacey to me and lacking substance. Perhaps I'm judging too harshly, mainly of the points they make appear good commonsensical notions to me, maybe some people don't have those ideas and do need it spoon feeding...

    Your thoughts OA'ers?

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree that the lube post wasn't handled in the best way but in general, I find Tracey's posts to be pretty sound and positive.

    I don't mind the sexpert tag, it's only relevant to the media. It gives them a way to label them. I agree that it can get very sillly in some cases but I like the style of having someone who's focus in on being positive about sex that follows the old agony aunt format. There's a lot of dumb advice being thrown around by people who aren't called Sexperts, some of them are priests, doctors and teachers etc.

    There are a lot of people I consider figure heads in the sexually posiitive community. These are people that dedicate their time to proper research, writing articles and generally knowing their stuff about a variety of issues. If they instigate the community to contribute, discuss and create all the better.

    A prime example is Violet Blue. In my opinion, you can't do much better. She's of the kind that doesn't give sex tips so much (because the best one is 'open your mouth and start asking questions) but encourages people to think critically about sex, porn, masturbation etc. She's also a great advocate of safer sex.

    Her link is absolutely Not Safe For Work http://www.tinynibbles.com/

    Another thing that springs to mind is Bish Training. More a community than one person http://bishuk.com/

    One last fantastic person: Duckie Doolittle. She's learnt from a lot of experiences and shares them with the world. http://www.duckydoolittle.com/

    I like Sexperts when it's about 'here are your options, here are my sources for the facts I'm giving: now you decide what feels right for you.'

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Will check linkies.

    Hmmm...

    I guess I struggle with the advice given because it's usually so, well, lame. Perhaps though it does need to be, not everyone is like the rampaging stallions and nymphs from the OA!

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Will check linkies.

    Hmmm...

    I guess I struggle with the advice given because it's usually so, well, lame. Perhaps though it does need to be, not everyone is like the rampaging stallions and nymphs from the OA!

    I'm not so keen on 'advice' but when it's one2one, in the way that many of our threads on the forum are, it can be really useful. Mostly with the emotional stuff.

    I definitely prefer the factual stuff, as in 'here are the emotional and physical things to consider when having anal sex' than 'here is how to have great anal sex.' Because funnily enough, it's the former that dictates the latter.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Will check linkies.

    Hmmm...

    I guess I struggle with the advice given because it's usually so, well, lame. Perhaps though it does need to be, not everyone is like the rampaging stallions and nymphs from the OA!

    I'm not so keen on 'advice' but when it's one2one, in the way that many of our threads on the forum are, it can be really useful. Mostly with the emotional stuff.

    I definitely prefer the factual stuff, as in 'here are the emotional and physical things to consider when having anal sex' than 'here is how to have great anal sex.' Because funnily enough, it's the former that dictates the latter.

    Yes. I agree, that can be really helpful with feedback in the forum posts, you often notice someone posting about a sexual issue and it turns out that is one broken piece in a completely messed up relationship. Agony advice often misses this and might encourage some one to try harder in a bad relationship.

    With the A.Aunt type posts it seems more a percentage game, offer advice that satisfies 80% and that will have to do however it might be bad advice for 10%. Information is a dangerous thing. I think the responsible type you suggest is certainly the way to do it.

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Tigerlilies wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Will check linkies.

    Hmmm...

    I guess I struggle with the advice given because it's usually so, well, lame. Perhaps though it does need to be, not everyone is like the rampaging stallions and nymphs from the OA!

    I'm not so keen on 'advice' but when it's one2one, in the way that many of our threads on the forum are, it can be really useful. Mostly with the emotional stuff.

    I definitely prefer the factual stuff, as in 'here are the emotional and physical things to consider when having anal sex' than 'here is how to have great anal sex.' Because funnily enough, it's the former that dictates the latter.

    Yes. I agree, that can be really helpful with feedback in the forum posts, you often notice someone posting about a sexual issue and it turns out that is one broken piece in a completely messed up relationship. Agony advice often misses this and might encourage some one to try harder in a bad relationship.

    With the A.Aunt type posts it seems more a percentage game, offer advice that satisfies 80% and that will have to do however it might be bad advice for 10%. Information is a dangerous thing. I think the responsible type you suggest is certainly the way to do it.

    I've tried to be very restrained with those kind of threads. The times I've wanted to run around, waving my hands and yelling 'Leave the pillock!' are too numerous to count. Sometimes it just comes out.

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    The sex tip in that article about what to do if your girlfriend starts crying is awful.

    If you haven't clicked it here's a spoiler: it's no 'stop and ask her if she's ok?'

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I have my doubts.

    Tracy Cox, whilst an excellent place to look for the inexperienced, comes across as slightly, I don't know...giggly? I don't feel that all her posts are 100% serious, which is fine, but also, as a trusted member of the sex toy society, perhaps seriousness should be important. She can write some excellent things, but also some things that make me think "what?! Really?!".

    Julie Peasgood seems to give advice from a *very* specific point of view. Again which is fine, but she misses so many important points and I regularly find myself annoyed at her posts.

    Both Tracy and Julie do seem to miss some glaring things. I've read some posts which I've found outright offensive...can't think of any now, but they seem to gloss over some important issues from time to time.

    Having said that, I think we need people like Tracy and Julie - they are ideal for people knew to the "sex is fun" game and those beginners to sex toys. I just think we need someone else as well. There's a big gap in the advice given in my opinion, it's all very novice and directed at the "normal"...it's all a bit, toned down Cosmo.

    Hella is doing an excellent job of blogging and hopefully is writing for the more experienced too.

    I can't really think how to word what I'm saying, but there's just something missing :)

    Adx

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    I would love to see Hella answering some questions on the blog.

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    Agree with Ad's points.

    I do have to champion an example of what i think is a great Cox post. It got a big response from the comments as well. It was on cheating http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2010/08/14/ask-tracey-cox-14-august-2010/

    The 'having one up on someone' factor is so often missed from articles on cheating and I thought this piece was great.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    Agree with Ad's points.

    I do have to champion an example of what i think is a great Cox post. It got a big response from the comments as well. It was on cheating http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2010/08/14/ask-tracey-cox-14-august-2010/

    The 'having one up on someone' factor is so often missed from articles on cheating and I thought this piece was great.

    I read that post from Tracy fully expecting to get all ranty about her points, but was pleasantly suprised. It was answered pretty well for an agony aunt type post.

    Adx

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    Also, not that I have issues with what Peasgood says at times, it is great to see a woman of a certain age being given a forum. Naturally it would be patronizing to let her say any old thing just because she's a little older but it's a good thing. As a bright young thing I can forget that people over 25 have sex.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    I would love to see Hella answering some questions on the blog.

    A proposed extract:

    "Then get the whips and chains out and say: 'suck it you filthy little slut'."

    I have been impressed with her posts, the beginner bondage ones and such! Keep it up Hella (O er!)!

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Tigerlilies wrote:

    I would love to see Hella answering some questions on the blog.

    A proposed extract:

    "Then get the whips and chains out and say: 'suck it you filthy little slut'."

    I have been impressed with her posts, the beginner bondage ones and such! Keep it up Hella (O er!)!

    Pretty much a good night in there, yes indeed.

    Hella's post on latex clothing was top notch too.

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't particulary enjoy reading Sexperts information because i feel like its old stuff. but then i remember when i was a little virgin and i bought my em and lo book the big bang, and i think how helpful it was to me, but if i read it now i'd be like well duh i don't need advice on how to wank my boyfriend! i lent it to my best friend when she was going to sleep with her boyfriend and he has it now (the broke up) i was very angry that she lent to him because i wrote all things that i wanted to do in it so now her ex-boyfriend knows my intimate desires!

    VW x

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    telemachus [sign in to see picture]
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    I find the advice in the link rather insulting.

    Is it "don't bother him, he's just a man" or "his dick will shrink if you mention the horrors inside your <whispers> v-a-g-i-n-a" or "it's important for you to be perfect at all times, don't tell him you are having dryness issues" or is she telling you to just lie to him forever that his cock is massive and you need the extra lube while you silently deal with the issue by yourself?

    Insulting to all involved, men and women. It's like reading Cosmopolitan or something equally brainless.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Bad sexperts...

    I'm just watched Em&Lo, Sex: how do do everything or something like that on Fiver.

    Full on Cheesefest! Rubbish! Doesn't help that both of them have weird head tics and both have smarmy Piers Morgan grins throughout so they look a bit like demented sex clowns. Two 'on the road reporters' are also in the show, one of whom even throws up a Jimmy Carr-esque eyebrow at one point. Cheesey.

    I'm sorry to the LH sexperts! When I've seen TC on tele she generally comes across friendly but professional, not like the two who wander round London asking people to demonstrate how they'd give a handjob to a dildo, only to then show 'hilarious' clips of people being rough for funnies, and then more of the same. I learnt a lot form that... Don't get a handjob off a cockney.

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    jackador123 [sign in to see picture]
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    No these 'sexperts' are quite tamed I find but I guess they have to seeing as they cant go to over censors and all

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    http://www.harlotmagazine.co.uk/issue0019/index.html

    In this online magazine we have a *delightful* article from the ever ignorant Tracy Quan whose quote was used in this advice from Julie Peasgood: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2010/08/17/julie-peasgood-sex-tips-august-17/

    The article is entitled 5 Sex Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know.

    Discuss...

    Oh and read this excellent blog post from our very own (somewhere!) LivingFire: http://www.nymphetaminekiss.com/2010/10/tracy-quan-please-stop-it.html

    Adx

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    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
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    Complately agree - if we start lying where does it end?

    You shouldn't be made to feel ashamed just because you *may* need to use lube - if your partner doesn't like it, he clearly isn't worth being your sexual partner.

    And really, is a man NOT going to notice you've just slipped a condom on?? He might say he cannot *feel* you but you don't want to get an STI or pregnant - fair do's I think?!

    Actually the 10 real reasons he doesnt want to get married article annoyed me but hey-ho....

    Really.......

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