• Why do I do it?

    Brothel_Creeper [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 14 Jul 2010

    I think you guys are right. I need to step back, remove myself from the escorts etc. and focus on my wife. We both need to have a break from the kids, as I suppose the reality is that it i sthe kids that have the prioity now rather than us.

    Then if all else fails I 'll go to councelling. Actually I will make a comitment to you guys that if I go to an escort again I will then go to councelling.

    It needs to stop, cos above all it does me no favours. (cos actually I am a nice guy, and could quite easiy be as nice as any bloke on here. I dont come accross as a brothel creeper in real life!

    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1445
    • Joined: 12 Jan 2010

    Brothel Crepper, welcome to the OA.

    I think there are many things to consider.

    I don't think you need other clients to give their reasons for seeing women in the trade. I suspect that your true motivation behind this request is validation and to prove to yourself and to others that your behaviour is justified and understandable. You will encounter many people here who are more than aware of the complexities of the sex trade and the differences out there in working conditions. The only reaction to your behaviour that matters at all is your own and your wife's.

    I believe that who you sleep with, ecort or no escort, is your business. However, have you considered the fact that your wife's health is at stake?. I assume that you are using protection but we all know that condoms make for 'safer' sex as opposed to 'safe' sex. There are still risks being taken and your wife has no say in this. When you have sex with another, you are not only taking your body into the arena but your wife's. It goes without saying that this isn't great in the trust stakes either. If you don't like this, then you are more than free to walk out the door and leave your marriage.

    You have many choices on offer.

    1. Continue to see prostitutes. Enjoy seeing women you pay for sex and ignore your feelings of guilt and the deception involved.
    2. Stop completely and address nothing in your marriage.
    3. Stop and start communicating with your wife. If this is difficult, then all the more reason to address this.
    4. Leave your wife and be free to see any woman who is inclined to have sex with you, paid or otherwise.

    If you want to stop, I think asking yourself 'why would I stay in this marriage' will be more productive than 'why do I see prostitutes?' Personally, I believe the majority of clients are attracted to the fact that an escort is paid to exit the door as much as she is paid to enter it. I assume you're not shagging the secretary or bonking the barmaid, and this is partly because you know that unpaid women can potentially encoach and threaten your marriage.

    After twenty years, you can bet your bottom dollar that your wife has a secret life. Perhaps not one that involves sex outside the marriage but if you haven't been talking properly then she's bound to have secret desires, fantasies and frustrations.

    I advise that you start speaking with your wife and consider marriage counselling. If proper communication is too much for you then you are lacking what it takes to sustain a marriage. A marriage without honesty and communication is a dud, I'm afraid.

    One last thing, the women you pay do have strings attached but they're all connected to how much you value your marriage vows.

    Good luck with your decisions.

    prettyblueeyes [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 100
    • Joined: 27 Mar 2010

    I hope things go well for you im sure they will......... you may just need to be guided into the right direction so you are able to sail off into the sunset with the wife and kids.... good luck lets us know how it goes.... and be strong

    RubberJin [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 96
    • Joined: 3 Jan 2010

    As my mate said the other day, and I find true of most things - if you can't be yourself with your wife, when can you be?

    For me that applies to kink, I enjoy kink and hence I don't hide it from my GF even though I know some stuff may not be to her fancy etc. - but if you can't be honest, open, and relaxed with your significant other then it's not fair on either of you and is only going to go badly.

    What do you get out of the girls that you don't from your wife? Quicky sex, kinky play, ability to be selfish and just enjoy yourself...?

    If your wife is too busy with the kids all the time then spend the money on a baby sitter instead, then she can relax a bit and maybe you'll get what you need without cheating on her.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.