• Where has my sex drive gone?

    Twinkle-toes [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 3 Apr 2010

    I've never been quite as "up for it" as my hubby, but in recent years my sex drive has dwindled so much, we only actually have full sex a couple times a month. Hubby is great, very patient and makes do with a cuddle and hand-job a lot of the time, but I'm beginning to feel very guilty about my lack of interest in our lovelife and its bound to be getting him down too.

    We've been together for 20 years now, married for 13 and have one child (7). My sex drive returned quite well after my pregnancy, but has dropped off very quickly since I turned 40 a few years ago. I am sure it could be hormonal, as I tend to only really get in the mood a few days after my period, which is leading up to ovulation I guess. For a few days I am really horny, then it just switches off completely. I do enjoy it when I'm in the mood, and orgasm is never a problem. I probably come too quickly, and its usually really intense, so much so that once is enough!

    I do ocassionally mastrubate, but even that is rare these days. I bought a vibrator to try and get myself in a more regular routine, as I have read that the more you get, the more you want, but that hasn't helped. I am at a total loss what to do now. Would going to the GP really help?

    Any advice would be great. Thank you

    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2731
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    there are a lot of things that can affect sex drive, hormones and stress being the main ones.

    going to the GP will definatley help, even if its just for a general health check. as even the slight things can have an affect

    a quick forum search and on the lovehoneys blogs will be useful. to search just type some terms in the top box

    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    I'm with SL, your GP might be able to help directly if it is hormonal or refer you to someone else for help.

    A forum search should show some tips up. Sometimes it might just be worth making time for it!

    Good luck.

    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1157
    • Joined: 2 Aug 2009

    One of the most important things I feel is no to worry about it so much.... putting to much pressure on and worrying about ure lack of sex drive will infact reduce it. I fing that the more I masterbate, the less interested I can be in sex, obviously that can be personal to me but remember that getting in the mood can often start with romance and pampering by your partner.

    GPs are fantastic though these days and as stated by SL and WandA should give u advice =)


    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 28 Jun 2008

    Me and my OH give each other back massages every night, its great to have the body contact and it doesn't have to lead anywhere but most of the time it does!


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