• Im too dominant for my own good!!

    Scarlet Succubus [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 11 Jan 2010

    Hello everybody!

    Iv always been a very dominant personality, yet also crave being dominated!! Which is all good fun except recently my boyfriend complained that when he does try to dominate me I still end up in control! Iv started to really fantasize about being spanked or tied up and used/teased for hours, yet feel a little....silly? weird? about being submissive.... If anyone wud give me advice, either to be a good sub or a better dominant it would be more than welcome!! (This is all alot newer and scarier to my bf than me so we're starting off nice and easy until we can find a level that will suit us both) xx

    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1706
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2009

    Hiya, welcome to the forums!

    Have you tried a basic blindfold and hand restraints? It might be a good way to ease yourself into being submissive without being able to control anything, and him to do what he normally does while still being the dom. There's so much more you can move onto, but it may be a good place to start.

    If you not telling him what to do is difficult, consider a gag as well so you can't talk!

    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 738
    • Joined: 11 Sep 2008

    I have a personal opinion that women are all secretly in control.... but that's just me probably!

    I'm VERY dominant but I can 'play' sub in the bedroom. I think some good ways to experiment safely would be if he ties you and gags you, so you cannot speak, but agree on a 'safeword' of some kind [three grunts in quick succession, for example, would safeguard you againdt harm/hurt]

    This means he gets to control/'play-abuse' you without you butting in every two seconds to tell him off/what he is doing wrong etc!

    There are a few female chastity devices out there that he could lock onto you ... this is a great motivational factor in submission! If he owned your pleasure for the evening you may find yourself doing what you're told a lot quicker if it means it gets you closer to your release, having to 'earn' it from him with good behaviour.

    I think first mentally you have to trust in him that he is able to 'take charge' of you... until you know he can 'handle' you it will be difficult ot seriously indulge in a little submission play.

    good luck, have fun, play safe, sane and consensually!

    MC xxx

    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2777
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2008

    Hiya Scarlet Succubus and welcome to the forums.

    I would say I and my partner are equally dom in the bedroom. She is a very strong (mentally) woman and can use a flogger, whip, spanking paddle as good as me which turns me right on as I love a challange! I would say just relax and enjoy SS!

    Hope it all goes well.

    SG69 x

    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 738
    • Joined: 11 Sep 2008

    BitofWOW wrote:

    Think you shud give lessons to littlemisshorny Cara lol.

    Lol! Well for a start I would be giving you lessons in respecting your own Mistress. If you were Mine for that comment you would be receiving less than tame punishment!

    But as you aren't Ill just say thank you and blow a kiss x ;)

    Littlemisshorny wrote:

    Great advice as always mistress, think you should show me a thing or two about being a better dom who is less shy, haha. Hope your ok

    Im good thank you ! You can find a lot of information on the web about D/s [Dominance and submission] and M/s [Mistress/slave or Mistress/submissive] bonds, relationships/session ideas, techniques etc.

    This is a bit deep and dark maybe for many but Im especially deviant!

    If it is purely bedroom fun then a bit of trust, a lot of lube, some soft velvet ties, communication and sense of humour goes a long way. Nice that it's in a relationship, power exchange/control is not something to be entered into lightly with people you do not know well/trust.

    We want everyone to have fun, after all!

    sinful snogs and lustful licks

    Mistress Cara Xxx

    KinkyWolf [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 50
    • Joined: 17 Feb 2009

    Littlemisshorny wrote:

    Lol thanks cara. I do love to be seductivly powerful but after a bit I'm like what do I do now?

    (If bound) Tease him, tickle him, run different objects down his body, get him to taste different foods - not all nice foods. Masturbate in front of him if he's not got a blindfold on.

    (If unbound) Get him to give you a massage, a decent footrub. Make sure he really knows if he's doing it wrong.

    You're in command, you've got the power.

    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 738
    • Joined: 11 Sep 2008

    I make Mine do all the housework, especially the ironing and the washing up. Chores, collecting things, doing the posting, the dry cleaning. Buying a treat a week [or any frequency you set]. Make him wank to the edge then stop just so you can laugh.

    Doing all the cooking. Wearing womens underwear underneath normal clothes out just for the humiliation factor.

    I make Mine wear nail polish, feminine perfume, use female shower gel and shampoo and wears a diamante bracelet.

    depends on his fetishes I guess ;)

    you are bound by nothing but your imagination so the list is endless xx

    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 738
    • Joined: 11 Sep 2008

    lol I think instead of hijacking this thread Ill see if there's a femdom thread already open as we have moved away from the poor OP's question! Ill have a quick look then follow on there. xxx

    Good luck in your quest http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/members/scarlet-succubus/ Hope you manage to submit nicely for your fella and you will have to let us know how it went!


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