• Orgasam Help!

    1478439834
    Tillsandthirlls [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 10 Nov 2014

    Hi Everyone!

    Looking for some helpful advice, tips, suggestions and recommendations! The situation: my partner and I have been together for just over a year and I am still yet to have an orgasm during sex alone, or come during every sexual rendezvous. Oral sex and fingers seem to be the only methods that work and sometimes (or more often) it can take forever! And sometimes as I see him getting a bit stressed and it's becoming a chore I tell him it's ok and he can stop. As my partner doesn't take long on his end I'm usually left disappointed (and sexually fustrated) and sometimes once he's done he will literally roll over and fall asleep (usually saying he needs a quick break and can then resume, the break often turns into a full sleep).

    Does anyone have any suggestions on g-spot orgasams or how to get my partner to multi-task during sex! £3 says he finds it difficult to use fingers and thurst!

    Thanks!
    Thalulah x

    1478440411
    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
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    hi

    have you tried any orgasm balms? i dont find it hard to orgasm and this gem from lovehoney is really good

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34567

    also the better sex for her page is really good for ideas

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/better-sex-for-her/

    doesnt sound nice that he just rolls over and falls asleep leaving you frustrated. it sounds like you two need to spend time on this subject and have the confidence to tell him what does and doesnt work for you

    good luck

    🐼

    1478440819
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    This sounded like my husband not too long ago. He would get off really quickly, fall asleep and eventually we just stopped having sex as I got no pleasure out of it.

    In April we discovered LoveHoney *cue brass band tadadadadadadaaaaaaaaaa* and its really helped. A vibrating cock ring could be a good start. You get the buzzing on your clitoris along with penetration.

    My husband has also discovered his love of seeing me orgasm, especially the flooding after a g spot one. We use the LoveHoney g slim and the Too Fast for Love bullet together often. He does get a bit of cramp in his hand but he doesn't want to stop as he enjoys it.

    Also, this bits VERY important, talk to him. Tell him how you feel. He may not realise you aren't satisfied. Good luck x

    1478442147
    Curvyc [sign in to see picture]
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    We invested in a love swing (not from LH as we are both on the large side) but combined with toys from LH it has transformed lovemaking for my wife and myself

    1478444567
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    Agree with RosyCheek, cock rings are a good option for delaying your other half. Plus he'll feel bigger and stuffed which is a bonus for you!!

    These are a good start. Not vibrating but you get 3 sizes which give plenty of options to wear just at the base of the penis, 1 ring over the penis base and one over the balls or the biggest ring behind both (mine and the OH favourite.
    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32874

    1478445316
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,

    I'm pretty much in the same situation as you are (well, I was a few months ago, now the situation's a bit different).

    My advide would be get a dildo! That way he could use a dildo on you while giving you oral and everybody would be happy :) You an get a silicone or glass one for cheap (I would advide against getting any other material, and silicone didos with water-based lube). Good options are:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28715

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22769

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17187

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30941

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32877

    1478445857
    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    Hi,

    I'm pretty much in the same situation as you are (well, I was a few months ago, now the situation's a bit different).

    My advide would be get a dildo! That way he could use a dildo on you while giving you oral and everybody would be happy :) You an get a silicone or glass one for cheap (I would advide against getting any other material, and silicone didos with water-based lube). Good options are:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28715

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22769

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17187

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30941

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32877

    I forgot to mention that you could also get a vibrator! some are very powerful and could help you get there faster, and even maybe during intercourse. Wands are known to be very powerful.

    You could agree that your orgasm comes first, so he could pleasure you using a sex toy and then you could have sex together 

    1478463281
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    The key here is communication. You need to sit down in a non sexual situation and talk it through.

    Unfortunately what's happening is as your getting more and more frustrated. Your orgasm is becoming more and elusive..focus more on relaxing enjoying intimacy together. Avoid intercourse till your ready . your not alone I think this is a lot more command than you'd think.

    Somehow you need to get him to enjoy feeling and stimulating your body orally or manually rather than rushing toward his orgasm..

    I wish you good luck.

    1478467378
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    My advice on g-spot orgasms would be to give up on the idea honestly, it's statistically improbable that you're one of the relatively few women who can orgasm from penetration alone. If it hasn't happened in the year you've been trying, it's probably not going to happen. This is ok, it's very normal and there are plenty of things to try to help you enjoy sex more.

    You sound like you're blaming your partner a fair bit here, with saying that he doesn't take long to finish and can't go again straight away (both normal) and that he can't multitask. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is not solely his job to get you off. You say he can't multitask, fair enough; have you tried taking over and playing with yourself while he thrusts? You could do this with your fingers or a clitoral toy, in the heat of the moment you'll know where and how to touch better than he will so chances are it'll be more effective if you do it anyway. He'd likely enjoy the show too!

    When it comes to him finishing too soon, you've got a choice of delaying his orgasm or bringing yours forward. In an ideal world you'd simply bring yours forward through more foreplay, have yourself close enough to orgasm before he enters you that it won't matter if he cums quickly as you'll be ready to pop too. Of course sometimes couples are pressed for time or simply don't want to indulge in hours of foreplay, in that case you could use a clitoral vibrator to bring yourself to orgasm quicker while he is inside you, or utilise the excellent suggestion of clitoral balm. Or both!

    When it comes to slowing him down, a cock ring would be a great place to start. A vibrating one could give you enough stimulation to get you there too. I wouldn't jump straight to delay gels or the like, it would be better to try giving you extra stimulation before you take stimulation away from him.

    All in all the best thing you could do right now is breathe, relax and take the pressure off yourself by dropping the idea that an orgasm through penetration alone will just happen. There is no shame in needing clitoral stimulation to cum, it's perfectly normal. If you don't masturbate, I would suggest doing so; you'll learn better what way you like to be touched (and will be able to communicate this to him better) and it will take the edge off your sexual frustration, which could be key in breaking the cycle you seem to have gotten trapped in where each time you have sex and fail to orgasm, you get more frustrated.

    Hope you find something that works for you, I never orgasmed via sex until we tried using clitoral toys at the same time so I know how frustrating it can be.

    1478508970
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    Completely agree with everything that everyone has said. Most importantly, talk to your OH. He kay bot realise how frustrated you get in the heat of the moment - I know mine barely knows his own name when he's close to coming.

    It's not necessarily his fault he can't delay or get ready to go again in the same way its not your fault you don't cum from penetration alone. Don't put do much pressure on it.

    I agree that you should try be a little more self indulgent and learn more about your body without the pressure. The G Slim that RosyCheek recommended is in my shopping basket too!!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34276

    My OH doesn't go all night either but he happily gives out a LOT of foreplay beforehand so I will always get 1 or 2 orgasms first. If I think he's going to get there before me with penetrative sex and im being greedy then ill pleasure myself (which he loves).

    Having a G spot orgasm every time would be amazing but its not realistic for most women so I am most happy with feeling him get to that point and if I can cum with him by whichever means then bonus

    1478510552
    Colonel Lube [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife and I had this issue a number of years ago. As her husband I felt it was my failing at it certainly caused issues. I would then try and hold back from finishing and on those occasions that she did orgasm I ended up not doing so as I think the stress of trying to make sure she had an orgasm reduced the pleasure I gained.

    We solved it through a combination of talking, masses more foreplay and non-penetrative stimulation (oral, fingers and toys). We have now moved beyond that onto other things and she will now have at least three orgasm minimum during a session and sometimes many more.

    This change took a long time and the situation gradually improved. It took patience, communication and a willingness to experiment with new ways to stimulate one another.

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