• Advice needed.

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Okies all. I knew you would be the best people to ask.

    Firstly, haven't been as active the last 10 days or so. Going through what can only be described as a tragedy. My other half is unwell, not critically, but is off work. His sister, however, is fighting for her life in hospital, and is in an induced coma. Everything came out of nowhere and its all very messy.

    Sex. Where do we start? I'm worried of initiating it as it is probably the last thing on his mind... but I dont want him to think I see him any less able to please me because of what's going on.

    Also, I have a feeling my medical fetish isnt ever gong to be explored again with him, because of everything that's happened and the trauma etc etc.. do you understand where I am coming from? I love "examinations" from my "doctor ", but think it will be too much for him. I don't want to talk to him about it as I worry he will get defensive and then think I am insensitive for asking.

    Please advise peeps. I'm going through what can only be described as a never ending nightmare.

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry to hear about your stresses.

    Regards the sex - my advice would be to make some couple time, be close, be intimate, and see if it leads anywhere, see if you can take it where you want it.

    As regards your fetish - slow down is my advice here. Whilst all that's going on is really fresh and raw, then yes, medical fetish is probably not a good place to go. It doesn't mean it won't ever happen again. Life sometimes takes you on a detour from the norm, and these interests have to take a back seat for a while.

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovely advice there from Sub. I don't really have anything I can add.


    It may be just a waiting game. Let him initiate sexual contact but plenty of squishy cuddles in the meantime.

    So sorry you are both in this situation sweetheart. Look after yourselves x

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with the others. Make sure you give him a lot of cuddles if he wants to and if he would like sex he can initiate it :) As for your medical fetish I just think he needs some time until he can get back to it :)

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks guys. just offloading a bit, sorry.

    Lots of cuddles last night. Havent pressed the subject of sex. We haven't been having that much anyway to be honest, maybe twice a month at the moment and expecting it to be even less frequent now. I know that it is the last thing on his mind and don't want him to feel pressured in any way.

    At the minute all sex is off, and certainly anything else out of the ordinary. I don't want to sound selfish for asking about that when everything else is going on.

    Thanks for the kind words and advice as ever x

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sorry that you have been having a traumatic time recently. If your missing pleasure why not suggest your going for a bath/shower for a little solo fun, and that he is more than welcome to join you if he feels like it. That way no pressure on him. He knows you are desiring satisfaction but that your more than happy to do this alone if he isn't in the mood or feeling up to it.

    Im a great believer in physical contact, so cuddles are good but rubbing his back while he is in the bath, or a shoulder massage while he is on the sofa. Keep communicating and cuddling, I'm sure when life settles down things will return to normal.

    As for your medical fetish, when he gets a cold (man flu) you could dress up to nurse him better, bringing him cups of tea, medicine, rubbing vapour rub on his feet/ chest, that sort of thing. He will associate the outfit with you caring for him and not the hospital environment. Again I wouldn't push but if he likes to watch you pleasure yourself, watching you do this in your nurses outfit might stir exciting feelings.

    Just a few suggestions, I hope thing return to normal soon and that he and his sister return to health soon.

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    captainmeow [sign in to see picture]
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    So sorry to hear about what's been happening :/ I think Sub gave really good advice...I'd only add that it might help to put yourself in your partner's shoes - I'm sure with time you'll both recover, but he's probably going to need some time and TLC at the moment. I agree with not talking to him about it now, but when things have hopefully settled with his sister, you could broach the subject and see how he feels? Not in a way that puts him in a spot, but just as an exploratory question to see where he's at with the medical fetish.

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    Gigglesandjiggles [sign in to see picture]
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    So sorry to hear that SB.

    Can only echo what others have said, cuddles, support and intimacy will help him through this and hopefully just being close will lead to more.

    The medical fetish may need to wait a while though hunny but it doesn't mean never again xx

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    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    Leave the ball in his court for sex. The most you can do right now, which I know you have been doing so already, is be there for him with whatever support in whatever form that may be for him... which may not necessarily be sex, but hugs all night as you've said already.

    As for the medical fetish... as Sub said... slow down! Time will help heal things and maybe it will come back in due course... maybe it won't. Just have to see how that one pans out

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Sum Sub wrote:

    Sorry to hear about your stresses.

    Regards the sex - my advice would be to make some couple time, be close, be intimate, and see if it leads anywhere, see if you can take it where you want it.

    As regards your fetish - slow down is my advice here. Whilst all that's going on is really fresh and raw, then yes, medical fetish is probably not a good place to go. It doesn't mean it won't ever happen again. Life sometimes takes you on a detour from the norm, and these interests have to take a back seat for a while.

    I can't argue with that. There will be time for sex in the future. I would slow down as Sub says.

    Take care Hun xxx

    1478382908
    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks all. Unfortunately now she has passed away. It is honestly breaking my heart to see him in such a state.

    I haven't asked him ANYTHING about sex or anything medically, and I won't, I will leave everything with him. You are the only people who would ever understand.. I feel so guilty for enjoying that side of things I don't think I would ever be able to ask that of him again.

    I've got the impression that it reads like I've already asked & suggested I spoke to him about it- I haven't. I wouldn't ever dream of brining anything like that up at the moment. I wrote that when I was super tired after being at the hospital all day, so understand it doesn't read well. My head has been all over the place, sorry.

    God guys I feel like my heart is physically breaking. Its honestly the saddest day of my life. I cannot imagine how he and the rest of his family must be feeling. Thanks for listening x

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    RubyDarling [sign in to see picture]
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    I am so sorry to hear this, I can't really give you any advice but I am sending you virtual hugs!

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh sugarboobies I'm so very very sorry to hear that . I honestly can't think of anything else to say to you that'll make any difference so I'm just sending my heartfelt condolences to you and your family . Hugs and kisses xxx

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    Such sad news for a Saturday night or any night really.
    Sending subs sympathies.

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    Sugarboobies you have my deepest sympathy.

    Just be there for him, that's all you can do. Don't fuss or be too clingy because he might push you away and that would hurt you. Just let him know that you love him and that you are here for him.

    We are here if you need to talk.

    1478390086
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    You have no idea how much I really want to cuddle you right now, sugarboobies. What a horrible time you are having. Seeing your OH in pain and not being able to help is heartbreaking. You are a strong girl, you do what you can and when you need to blow off some steam pop on here and shout it all out. Try get some rest when you can. Thinking of you x

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    RosyCheek wrote:

    You have no idea how much I really want to cuddle you right now, sugarboobies. What a horrible time you are having. Seeing your OH in pain and not being able to help is heartbreaking. You are a strong girl, you do what you can and when you need to blow off some steam pop on here and shout it all out. Try get some rest when you can. Thinking of you x

    +1 To this - I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, and send my deepest sympathies to you xx

    1478395555
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    My deepest sympathy. Stay strong for your family as you will be needed that way .

    Take care xxxx

    1478396224
    sweetmama72 [sign in to see picture]
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    i am so sorry for your loss sending my deepest sympathy to you, your OH and his family as well as sending you a virtual hug.xx

    1478468259
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Okies all. I knew you would be the best people to ask.

    Firstly, haven't been as active the last 10 days or so. Going through what can only be described as a tragedy. My other half is unwell, not critically, but is off work. His sister, however, is fighting for her life in hospital, and is in an induced coma. Everything came out of nowhere and its all very messy.

    Sex. Where do we start? I'm worried of initiating it as it is probably the last thing on his mind... but I dont want him to think I see him any less able to please me because of what's going on.

    Also, I have a feeling my medical fetish isnt ever gong to be explored again with him, because of everything that's happened and the trauma etc etc.. do you understand where I am coming from? I love "examinations" from my "doctor ", but think it will be too much for him. I don't want to talk to him about it as I worry he will get defensive and then think I am insensitive for asking.

    Please advise peeps. I'm going through what can only be described as a never ending nightmare.

    I m sorry your having such a rough time of things.

    I myself have the some fetish. Its wondrful to explore a woman so intimately . love honey has some wonderful spreaders and speculums. I feel sure in time your OH will want to continue and want you again soon.

    Like all of us with fetishes though we thirst to hve them full filled regularly. It can get very strong the desire but all the more exquisite when we finally have it fulfilled.

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