• It's so unfair sexist and bullying

    1476723962
    Tony71 [sign in to see picture]
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    I used a word / phrase recently that was used by a female on this site. She said she liked being f*****. I had no issue with this word / phrase this is an adult site talking about sex. When I used the same word / phrase I was warned. I broke a ' rule '

    Not only is this treatment sexist it's also bullying, both of these I would not expect to find here

    I also find that there is a small core of users who have a bullying attitude ( I was aquised of lying in one of my threads, I had not lied I was upset at my partners actions ) on the site and seem to think this site is here for their use only

    To the majority of users thank you for your advise and thought's

    Have a nice week

    Tony

    1476724147
    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    Are you sure you weren't overly graphic? Some people on here tend to write quite graphic posts and I have seem some parts of them get removed.

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Its possible that her post was missed by the moderators. If it had been seen and/or reported then it would have been removed, so I don't think it's sexist or bullying at all that you received a warning for your similar post. Graphic language/swearing is not appropriate on this forum and if it is seen/reported, then it is removed. It might be a sex forum, but there are still boundaries considering this is a retail site and business first and foremost.

    1476724466
    Banannabelsplit [sign in to see picture]
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    I highly doubt this has anything to do with sexism. Maybe watch your language/tone next time.

    1476724752
    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    I responded to that post and from what I remember the comments were generally trying to be helpful and give you guidance for how this forum works. I don't think anyone implied you couldn't use that language as a man, just that it's frowned upon in this forum as a whole. Had the woman's post been reported it would most likely have been dealt with by the moderator (as NatandTom suggested). I'm sorry you found this so offensive.

    1476724943
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry to hear that you feel that you have been treated unfairly. As others have said the post you refer to by a female poster could have simply been missed as usually that type of post would be removed for rule breaking and then the poster would also have had a warning if it had been spotted. However, this is a busy forum and it's not always possible to read everything that is posted all the time so very occasionally things will slip through if not reported to the moderators. But all in all this is a very good forum and community to be a part of.


    We are all adults on here but there are rules and we all have to abide by them if we wish to remain a part of this forum. We have to remember not to swear or be overly graphic in our posts. There's plenty of other words to use that are just as descriptive but won't cause any offence and we can still get our point across when we want to.

    1476726278
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    lmh95 wrote:

    Sorry to hear that you feel that you have been treated unfairly. As others have said the post you refer to by a female poster could have simply been missed as usually that type of post would be removed for rule breaking and then the poster would also have had a warning if it had been spotted. However, this is a busy forum and it's not always possible to read everything that is posted all the time so very occasionally things will slip through if not reported to the moderators. But all in all this is a very good forum and community to be a part of.


    We are all adults on here but there are rules and we all have to abide by them if we wish to remain a part of this forum. We have to remember not to swear or be overly graphic in our posts. There's plenty of other words to use that are just as descriptive but won't cause any offence and we can still get our point across when we want to.

    + 1 to this. If you see a post that you are even not quite sure if it broke the rules, then please report it, and the moderator can make that determination.

    1476730060
    MK7 [sign in to see picture]
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    With all due respect, looking at the post-preview with REMOVED BY MODERATOR tagged on it, it was a little more graphic than just saying f**king.
    Report others who you think are breaking the rules, but it's not a case of you being wronged, it's a case of somebody else getting luck with evading penalty.

    1476731206
    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
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    Its more of a relationship advice site rather than a sex site.

    If you have to use language its always best to put asterix after the first letter etc but it depends really on the context of the text I guess.

    The moderators do a fantastic job of keeping this forum in check ;)

    I too have had posts removed but I take it all on board and learn from it !

    This is one of the friendliest forums I use if Im Honest!

    SO hope it continues

    1476733367
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I am not sure what to say other than this is a safe place, a very open group of people addressing a lot of sensative and very intimate topics in an announamous way in a written forumn. That can be emotional for people a lot of the time.

    Not specific to your post that was removed because I did not see it... but my thoughts because the header of this post bothered me.

    I have found sometimes people get upset becuase we can easily apply our own emotional interpretation of what someone else has written.

    This is an international community, not everyone's first language is English and we all come from different regions of the world with different customs. I live in the states for example and sometimes have to google british slang on here.

    The moderators work hard to avoid anyone feeling bullied or harassed on here so please try not to take it personal as it may have beenin line with the thread / conversation but not the overal tone of the foum.

    If I find myself offended or upset I take a step back and reread it when I am less tired / better mood, whatnot. I also avoid and do not read certain threads not becuase I dont care but because I cant add anything or it is something not positive for me personally.

    I wish you the best and hope you stick around and continue the conversation.

    Peace and Light.

    1476733554
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    The moderators will occasionally miss things .I used to be a moderator on another site and its impossible to over see everything without having any breaks from the site.

    For the record I saw one of your recent posts on another thread and it was fine .There is no need to be overly graphic to get the message accross, The trick is to let the reader cross the T s and dot the Is with their imagination.

    1476791780
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Tony71

    I'm sorry you feel unfairly treated - it is certainly never our intention to make anyone feel that way. As you've chosen to deal with this in a public domain, rather than email us for clarification on your post being removed, I shall answer it publicly for you too. 

    I'm looking at your original post right now and I can 100% tell you that your post was not removed because you used the word "fuck". The entire post is overly graphic, unecessarily crude and is uncomfortable to read. Therefore, we removed it.

    For the record, you are allowed to use the word fuck. And pussy. And cum. But was it all needed in one post? Did you need to use that vocab to convey your message? The answer is no. No you didn't. 

    You could have said: 

    "TITLE: Ladies: How do you feel about titwanks?"

    "My wife lets me pleasure myself using her boobs and gets excited when I cum on them. She also likes to cum with me while playing with her.

    Any of you find this a real turn on ?"

    But no. You chose to use language which would provoke a reaction (aka inflammatory language), which we do not condone at Lovehoney. It's like you wanted to turn readers on, or were aroused when you wrote it which, although is fine, none of us want to know about. This is an information forum, not a wank bank.  

    In regards to comparing our moderation of your posts vs someone elses:

    This forum is moderated by humans. As much as we'd love to fool you all and tell you we're omnipresent (aaaalllwaaaayyyys waaaaatchiiiinggg), we can't be everywhere all the time, and some rule-breaking posts are easily missed. That's why we have a report button. We're not purposely selecting which members we "tell off" or who's posts we remove. We just didn't see the offending post. If you see a post which you're not happy about, or you think has been overlooked, please report it so we can look into it. Ignoring it helps no one. 

    Please refresh your memory on the Forum Rules and check out this other post which covers what we mean by "graphic language". 

    If you don't agree with our rules and ways of moderating, we'll be happy to work with you to remove your account. 

    Thank you. 

    1476794325
    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    😮

    1476794896
    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
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    Think you just about covered this post jess thanks :)


    I so love that term "wank bank" lol

    Peace and love to all 😊

    1476799715
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
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    Jess - perfect response! You made my day!

    [also, we live a society that benefits cis men in every imaginable way. "Sexist" is a term used to describe discrimination against women or genders other than the man/woman binary. Sorry to get political but it's a pet peeve of mine when men use that term]

    1476799958
    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    Politics 😏. Think the guy has been informed enough now don't you?

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    Shadow Collector [sign in to see picture]
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    Jezebella wrote:

    Jess - perfect response! You made my day!

    [also, we live a society that benefits cis men in every imaginable way. "Sexist" is a term used to describe discrimination against women or genders other than the man/woman binary. Sorry to get political but it's a pet peeve of mine when men use that term]

    I wouldn't agree with that Jezebella. Sexim can cut any way. For example, I've heard women claim in the past that all men are rapists and hate women. I'd say this was a very sexist comment, as it makes assumptions for a whole gender that are simply misinformed and not true.

    This particular scenario wasn't sexist in the slightest though, we can agree on that :)

    1476810275
    Tony71 [sign in to see picture]
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    thank you

    please remove my account

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    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    Tony71 wrote:

    thank you

    please remove my account

    We can certainly can arrange this.

    Please email me as this can not be done on a public domain due to data protection.

    Email address is community@lovehoney.co.uk.

    I will need to ask some DPA questions and this can be sorted.

    Many thanks

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