• One night stand/casual sex Safety Advice

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    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
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    So after my first swingers party was so awesome () I've decided I want to meet a guy from a website. We've been in contact and he's seems respectful, genuine, safety conscious, and of course hot as hell.

    I've got a close friend down as my official safety marshall. So far i've sent her his name, face, username and age. I'm gonna tell her which hotel we're going to and we'll be going for a couple drinks in the bar before hand. Will message her then saying "its the right guy, same as photos, seems canny" and message her when we leave the bar too. Gonna message her later that night when I put my phone on charge and in the morning when I leave. She'll know a time to expect a text by for each of these and a time to expect me to be back home.

    I've discussed safety with the guy himself in terms of condoms, what is and isn't acceptable/comfortable etc. But any more advice to give? Hope this can be a thread useful for lots of other members too! Stay safe and have fun guys

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Well to cover all bases as you have no idea what this guy is like , I would dress conservetably but smart as you would be attractive but wear trousers instead of a skirt or dress . Thats just a safety precaution just in case he starts pressing you for sex and things start getting out of hand . Its sounds like I am trying to scare you a little but I am not just being cautious becasue I pressume you don't know anything about his background.apart from whats on the website.

    The other things you have mentioned in your opening post are all good. I would agree a time for your friend to ring you if you havn't checked in by a certain time .

    Other things to consider if your going for drinks just watch your intake . You need to be in control of your functions at all times .

    Lasstly, despite the above make sure you enjoy yourself .

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    My friends usually text me a question that only I would know the answer to e.g. Where did we meet? What is my job? (Trick question. "Something to do with computers" is the correct answer :p ). What subject did I study? This ensures the person texting is actually me. If I was in trouble or he was texting from my phone, I could give a wrong answer and she'd know to get the police to my location asap.

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    Grumpygit87 [sign in to see picture]
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    Of you got iPhone use find my friends or life360 app that can send emergency alerts and calls and she can keep an eye on where you are life360 app works with any smart phone

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    OK I have a friend who I used to be her safety back up if she was hooking up she would text me a picture of the guys photo ID.

    Also if you are going to his room make sure there are no cameras or recording devices.

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    Naughtynai [sign in to see picture]
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    I personally wouldnt leave my drink or be out of eye shot of the bar if he's fetching a drink. Very easy to slip something in it so ur not in control

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    Lovehoney - Rebecca [sign in to see picture]
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    Grumpygit87 wrote:

    Of you got iPhone use find my friends or life360 app that can send emergency alerts and calls and she can keep an eye on where you are life360 app works with any smart phone

    I don't have any real advice for you MondaySixteenth but this is a really good point.

    The Find My Friends app is brilliant - I use it with my best friend who lives abroad so I can see all the exciting places he visits. It would be a great way of your friend seeing exactly where you are, and it's super discreet too - your male friend wouldn't even know you have it switched on.

    1474476902
    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    I once got a guy to walk me back from my local, nothing happened with him but I took a photo of his Reg plate and sent it to my mate and said what I was doing to him for my own safety X

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    honeybun91 [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with the other advice about safety. Also even if you meet him and don't really get on- don't feel any pressure to go to his room... could be anyone online 😂

    1474487229
    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
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    To clarify a couple things:

    I've booked the hotel so know there won't be any recording equiptment because its all in my name but thanks for the suggestion. One to think about for anyone reading here for advice.

    The plan is to have a nice sexy evening so getting smashed is a bad plan! I'm having a 2 drink max because I know myself and I can still think clearly and make good choices :) Also will be at the bar to buy my drinks and keep a watch of them.

    I REALLY love that idea Friday13! I've known my safety friend since forever so going through questions will be easy and secure!

    I'm on android but will look up those apps mentioned :)

    If he isn't the guy on the picture the night ends there 100%. It's all about trust!

    And as well as all of these "could be a serial killer" safety precautions I will try to have fun! xx

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I was going to say book the room yourself , but you thought of it so thats good, because what came to my mind was his mates waiting in his room. Thats kind of what happened to me.

    I hope you have a great time, i wish i was that brave, but I can't even manage to get a date, so i have no worries.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Bring your own condoms, then there is no excuse in the heat of the moment.

    If you plan to fall asleep with him in the room consider securing your wallet / any valuables in the safe as I dont want someone to steal from you.

    trust your gut, if something doesn't feel right, don't push it and have a less than steller experience there is always a "next time".

    Here in the US we have easy websites to look up if someone has a criminal history. Now there are plenty good people who have had a DUI or whatnot... but assalt, major theft, etc. are red flags. If you are both single there is no reason you dont have his real name upfront and if you can search I think it is a good idea. But my friends always thought I was paranoid when I suggested that until one of my girlfriends ended up with a guy we later discovered had several jail time for domestic assalt and stalking.

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Got a safe word?

    Other than that, have fun. I'm excited for you!!

    1474490304
    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
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    Sugarboobies:

    This guy isn't as kinky as me so regular sex words such as "no" "stop it" and "fuck off" will suffice this time :)

    Vanessa:

    Still got plenty of spare from the ones Leanne sent me :)
    Good plan about valuables. I'll be driving and parking somewhere he doesn't know about so I'll leave any non-essentials in the car too.
    I will trust the gut. It's what I've been doing up until now as we've been messaging loads. I know "better safe than sorry" but he's been asking me about boundaries, whether he should buy condoms or if I want to, even down to whether (we decided we were happy staying the night) he needs to bring pjs for the night or if I'm okay with boxers/nude :P

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    MondaySixteenth wrote:

    Sugarboobies:

    This guy isn't as kinky as me so regular sex words such as "no" "stop it" and "fuck off" will suffice this time :)

    Vanessa:

    Still got plenty of spare from the ones Leanne sent me :)
    Good plan about valuables. I'll be driving and parking somewhere he doesn't know about so I'll leave any non-essentials in the car too.
    I will trust the gut. It's what I've been doing up until now as we've been messaging loads. I know "better safe than sorry" but he's been asking me about boundaries, whether he should buy condoms or if I want to, even down to whether (we decided we were happy staying the night) he needs to bring pjs for the night or if I'm okay with boxers/nude :P

    You never know though!

    1474490828
    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
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    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    MondaySixteenth wrote:

    Sugarboobies:

    This guy isn't as kinky as me so regular sex words such as "no" "stop it" and "fuck off" will suffice this time :)

    Vanessa:

    Still got plenty of spare from the ones Leanne sent me :)
    Good plan about valuables. I'll be driving and parking somewhere he doesn't know about so I'll leave any non-essentials in the car too.
    I will trust the gut. It's what I've been doing up until now as we've been messaging loads. I know "better safe than sorry" but he's been asking me about boundaries, whether he should buy condoms or if I want to, even down to whether (we decided we were happy staying the night) he needs to bring pjs for the night or if I'm okay with boxers/nude :P

    You never know though!

    I'll think of one with him. I hate red because it always gets confused with other words. Umbrella perhaps :)

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    Grumpygit87 [sign in to see picture]
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    Seems like you've gone about this all the right way so just relax and enjoy now !!

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    honeybun91 [sign in to see picture]
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    Also maybe if you want to check it's him ask him to send a Snapchat if he has it 🙊

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    Straw [sign in to see picture]
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    Depending on what site you are using (assuming it's a swinger site like Fab) most have 'user-reviews' - always worth checking. If he's been on for like 2 years and has had no meets - I'd be very very careful.

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    Some great advice here, the only thing I would like to add would be to have a pre written text on your phone, "Please feed the dog for me". Or something like that, a coded message for help! But if he sees you send it he will not think anything.

    Im pleased you are thinking this through in a safety way, have you thought about it emotionally? I know you have discussed swinging, but it's worth thinking about. Have fun.

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