• Orgasms - how important are they?

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    pusseypleaser [sign in to see picture]
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    a

    b

    c

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    Jann [sign in to see picture]
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    1) B (The build-up is soooo good that it often feels good enough without.)

    2) B/C (As we're both in it for the long run, I find that knowing my partner and I love each other helps me relax and enjoy it even more. This makes trying out new positions easier too, as if it doesn't work we'll move on and laugh about it.)

    3) C (I have an underactive thyroid, so I get tired easily and orgasming is often difficult. When we figured out we were a long-term thing, I decided to speak to my partner about this. It feels a lot more honest and less harmful to say I'm too tired to cum even if the sex has been great.)

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    Vanilla_Kink [sign in to see picture]
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    1. How important is an orgasm during sex?

    2. It’s more important to me that my partner climaxes.

    3. I don’t need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex.


    2. During sex with your partner, what is more important to you?

    1. Orgasming

    2. Trying out something new (positions, toys etc.)

    3. If I couldn’t climax with my partner, I would…

    1. talk to him or her about it to find a solution.


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    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
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    A A C :)

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    To everyone who did not answer A to the first question, is it because you can orgasm easily?

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    To everyone who did not answer A to the first question, is it because you can orgasm easily?

    The opposite. 90% of the time I can't orgasm from penetrative sex. I still find sex enjoyable, so the orgasm isn't really important to me.

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I never orgasm from penetrative sex Mamz, I just like sex anyway because it feels good even though I don't have an orgasm. I just like to have that closeness to my OH :)

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    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
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    1) C
    2) A
    3) C

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    Lovehoney - Nadia [sign in to see picture]
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    Fantastic answers and lots of interesting points.

    The definition of sex needs clarifying, I hear from some of you and you're right. I did consider that sex may mean different things to different people. For the purpose of this questionaire, it is whatever you personally consider to be sex. It isn't restricted to penetration since sex is really much more than just that. 

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    jws2686 [sign in to see picture]
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    1. B

    2. C

    3. C

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    Jann [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    To everyone who did not answer A to the first question, is it because you can orgasm easily?

    Nope, because I find it tricky honestly. I find I have a better time if an orgasm isn't the main goal, and get frustrated if I focus on cumming and can't get there.

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    I am considering "sex" to mean anything sexual.

    I find it frustrating a bit because I feel like girls are told "it's the journey that counts, don't expect to have an orgam" just because some can't have one during penetration, and I find it shouldn't be that way.

    Personnally, I don't feel the connection with my partner if he has had an orgasm and I haven't. But that may be due to the fact that in the past I never had ones (but had to fake it) because my partner would just take his from me.

    Even when I am thinking "orgasms are not the goal" I get frustrated haha

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    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    1. D

    2. D - I have more than one sexual partner and we have different goals. I also have the occasional lov-e-r who is more focused on sex for pleasuring just me, and others were we explore toys, and sometimes I just want to feel close to them. Basically, it depends on the situation and the partner.

    3. C

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    Lovehoney - Nadia [sign in to see picture]
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    Asking you all these questions and not answering them myself seems a bit unfair, so here goes:

    1. A - An orgasm is very important for me and I am extremely disappointed and even sad if it does not happen. Climaxing during penetration has eluded me so I make sure to get mine out of the way first. :P

    Also C - Equally, I am disappointed if my partner does not orgasm.

    2. A and B. While I do love my toys, I seem to mostly keep them for alone time rather than adding them to our joint fun.

    3. C - As many of you seem to understand, communication is key, so talking it over with my partner would be the first thing to do.  

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    Lovehoney - Rebecca [sign in to see picture]
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    1) B

    2) B

    3) C

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    Evoked1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    1. C
    2. B
    3. D

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    1.b and c

    2.b

    3.c

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    Jinjo96 [sign in to see picture]
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    1) B/C

    2)B

    3)C

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    Jann [sign in to see picture]
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    mamz wrote:

    I am considering "sex" to mean anything sexual.

    I find it frustrating a bit because I feel like girls are told "it's the journey that counts, don't expect to have an orgam" just because some can't have one during penetration, and I find it shouldn't be that way.

    Personnally, I don't feel the connection with my partner if he has had an orgasm and I haven't. But that may be due to the fact that in the past I never had ones (but had to fake it) because my partner would just take his from me.

    Even when I am thinking "orgasms are not the goal" I get frustrated haha

    I totally get what you mean! Of course, I've spoken to my partner about making sure I get my fair share. I know what great sex for both partners mean, especially as I've had relationships with other women. Unfortunately I'm on medication that makes it hard to finish, so it's never him that stops, it's me, and I know it's not being with a partner as even with solo play I can't always finish. The most reassuring thing for me is that hopefully I'll be able to find another medication without this effect, as before being on it I came pretty much every time, and my partner knows that it's down to the drugs not his technique as I was with him before starting them

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    Delboy1991 [sign in to see picture]
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    1) B
    2) B
    3) C

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