• going down..

    1474284014
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5925
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    sassykitten;) wrote:

    Thank you all for your replys he is fab its my relaxing issues that causes the issue

    It would help if you knew what was causing the relaxing issues.

    1474284813
    Lioness86 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 21
    • Joined: 20 Apr 2016

    May sound silly, but perhaps that intense feeling is him licking your clit too directly?

    I had a partner in the past who didn't have a clue and it was uncomfortable as the intensity just didn't feel good. Suggest he keeps his tongue soft instead of tense and perhaps licks around your clit as opposed to directly on it?

    1474288061
    Tony71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 39
    • Joined: 2 Dec 2014

    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Just relax. Enjoy it. If your paranoid about smell and not feeling clean, have a shOwer before hand or shower together? Let him massage you to let you fully relax. Would this help?

    Sugarboobies took the words out of my mouth, great advise ! Relax and enjoy !

    1474314016
    sassykitten;) [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1520
    • Joined: 28 May 2014

    Tony71 wrote:

    sugarboobies2232 wrote:

    Just relax. Enjoy it. If your paranoid about smell and not feeling clean, have a shOwer before hand or shower together? Let him massage you to let you fully relax. Would this help?

    Sugarboobies took the words out of my mouth, great advise ! Relax and enjoy !

    Thank you, we already do this on occasion. Its not smelling im worried about or anything. Just I seem to tense just as I start enjoying it. He's brill as soon as I say its getting to much he stops

    1474326362
    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1488
    • Joined: 13 Jan 2012

    Reading through this thread again it sounds as though you have a problem with letting go. This to me then translates a couple of possibilities (obviously I could be wrong).

    What first springs to mind is are you a squirter? As you could be afraid this is going to happen while he is down there and are worried it might alarm him.
    The other thing that crossed my mind is that you could be tensing, as we all do before the point of orgasm, but you might not notice you do this in every other sexual act as you aren't in quite as vulnerable position.
    Or you could see yourself as more a giver than a taker and emotionally you feel selfish just lying back and thinking of England so to speak, so you can't relax and enjoy it. (I am rather like this, and the only way for me is to be in a submissive role to convince me that he is doing it for his pleasure not mine).

    1474371897
    sassykitten;) [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1520
    • Joined: 28 May 2014

    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots wrote:

    Reading through this thread again it sounds as though you have a problem with letting go. This to me then translates a couple of possibilities (obviously I could be wrong).

    What first springs to mind is are you a squirter? As you could be afraid this is going to happen while he is down there and are worried it might alarm him.
    The other thing that crossed my mind is that you could be tensing, as we all do before the point of orgasm, but you might not notice you do this in every other sexual act as you aren't in quite as vulnerable position.
    Or you could see yourself as more a giver than a taker and emotionally you feel selfish just lying back and thinking of England so to speak, so you can't relax and enjoy it. (I am rather like this, and the only way for me is to be in a submissive role to convince me that he is doing it for his pleasure not mine).

    Thank you kinkyboots, I believe you may b right about the point of orgasm coz before that point im usually enjoying it. Also im naturally a more dominant person im neither with him in the bedroom.

    Never squirted so i dont think its that

    1474372726
    MGB93 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 26 Jul 2015

    One of my favourite positions for going down on my partner is for me to lie down between her legs whilst she is kneeling on the bed. She enjoys this too as she doesn't have to lie looking at the ceiling or worrying about what I'm doing as she can control the intensity and position by moving her hips over my face. Likewise she can just let go without thinking about how she looks as she climaxes. May be worth a try 😀

    1474391123
    outlaws [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2012

    sassykitten;) wrote:

    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots wrote:

    Reading through this thread again it sounds as though you have a problem with letting go. This to me then translates a couple of possibilities (obviously I could be wrong).

    What first springs to mind is are you a squirter? As you could be afraid this is going to happen while he is down there and are worried it might alarm him.
    The other thing that crossed my mind is that you could be tensing, as we all do before the point of orgasm, but you might not notice you do this in every other sexual act as you aren't in quite as vulnerable position.
    Or you could see yourself as more a giver than a taker and emotionally you feel selfish just lying back and thinking of England so to speak, so you can't relax and enjoy it. (I am rather like this, and the only way for me is to be in a submissive role to convince me that he is doing it for his pleasure not mine).

    Thank you kinkyboots, I believe you may b right about the point of orgasm coz before that point im usually enjoying it. Also im naturally a more dominant person im neither with him in the bedroom.

    Never squirted so i dont think its that

    ..................

    It is possible that because you have never squirted that the feeling is there and makes you want it to end. Buy yourself a small waterproof mat, that will take some of fear away. I love it when my wife cums but not all men are comfortable with it!

    Try and go with the flow and good luck.

    1477775714
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2471
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    This is not an uncommon issue.. Feelings of insecuritie over allowing a guy to get up close to your most Intimate feminine part can be huge.

    How dose it look ,smell, feel and taste. Please let me reassure you most guys are thrilled and hugely turned on by being given the opportunity to go down on a woman.

    Besides the relax just go with it,I wonder if your very sensitive and find oral stimulation just a little to much. Try getting you partner not to rush to quickly onto your Clit.

    1477777146
    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 900
    • Joined: 24 Jun 2012

    As long as it's basically clean, most guys are only too happy to be there, I feel it can often be the female "over thinking things" that can sometimes get in the way?

    1477781318
    loganlogan [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 333
    • Joined: 21 Dec 2014

    Would you feel more relaxed if you have already orgasamed.as part of your fore play you he could bring you to climax and maybe then go down on you

    1477796117
    captainmeow [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 280
    • Joined: 18 Sep 2016

    Just to add to what's already really good advice, I find that when it starts to feel really intense, I pull him away from my clit or have him focus on something else, so he could be taking a break and touching me elsewhere, or even just along the rest of the vulva - just not the clit itself! On my part, I focus on taking slower, deeper breaths because I tend to tense up and stop breathing which add to the intensity of the sensations.

    1477792977
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2561
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    Totally agree with whats been said so far.

    As with most things communication can help immensely. It doesn't have to be a full on pre match discussion, but I find when Mr LNT goes down on me, which I love btw, I can guide him with my hands, or by a small movement of my hips or verbally.

    I am wondering if maybe you could consider a blindfold, could take away any awkward 'where shall I look' feelings.

    Xxxx

    1477814997
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1160
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    My god there's no greater turn on for me, than giving oral!

    Some great suggestions above for if you're feeling self conscious, or are really sensitive. :)

    1477824009
    Lovehoney - Paige [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1120
    • Joined: 28 Mar 2014

    I find it quite awkward at times and at the start of my relationship my partner did not like oral at all.

    As time has gone on he actually enjoys it and will surprise my sometimes which is always a plus! I do find it hard to just enjoy the pleasure though and I think I have a strange form of a confidence issue with it.

    My suggestion would be just continuing recieving oral really, that has made me feel better over time but I still do feel awkward sometimes.

    1477840698
    amber_angel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 69
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2016

    I have a theory on it based on some experience plus talking with girlfriends and such.

    See, it is one of the things truly learned mutually.

    A girl cannot "practice" and find out what she likes most and doesn't like etc.

    Not like with masturbation with fingers and vibrators and such that can help tell her partner what she needs.

    Until finding what is just right for her, and with all of our sensitivity and hot spots being different it is truly do the best you can.

    And if it has not happened yet, it gets frustrating to just keep going the longer it takes.

    With guys, everything is out in the open. I know it is why I love giving oral. I can experiment and try so many different things. And with everything on the outside, there is so much to explore.

    With receiving oral there is really not a whole lot to work with unless he uses fingers and/or toys in addition. But, I do enjoy it, it just is not my favorite thing.

    When I do enjoy it, it is all about the tease and build up. Boyfriend does not even touch my clit until I have got insanley hot with teasing. That is when I have orgasms with oral.

    If he gets there too early, it is not as enjoyable. The orgasm happens, but the intensity is very low that it feels almost like half an orgasm.

    If you like giving oral, perhaps 69 is the best thing.

    It gives you something to do while he is having fun. You might be distracted enough from what he is doing to not have the worries and concerns or being anxious or as Paige mentioned, not worry about confidence.

    It might be just the thing to relax you enough to where you enjoy it enough to find out what works for you.

    amber

    1477854178
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2471
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Lovehoney - Paige wrote:

    I find it quite awkward at times and at the start of my relationship my partner did not like oral at all.

    As time has gone on he actually enjoys it and will surprise my sometimes which is always a plus! I do find it hard to just enjoy the pleasure though and I think I have a strange form of a confidence issue with it.

    My suggestion would be just continuing recieving oral really, that has made me feel better over time but I still do feel awkward sometimes.

    Paige that's so true I had to explain to a few lovers that I'm not just doing it for your pleasure it's for my own pleasure too. This did seem to be. Eureka moment for both.

    1477856799
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 400
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    The Sliquid splash feminine wash they sell on here is lovely. Smells lush and does mess up the PH of your lady bits

    1477856817
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 400
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    NaughtyNerd wrote:

    The Sliquid splash feminine wash they sell on here is lovely. Smells lush and doesnt mess up the PH of your lady bits

    1477857452
    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1420
    • Joined: 15 May 2016

    I always think its better to do a 69 positon on your side, less enbarrassing that way for the man or woman

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.