• Elements of a long lasting relationship

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    mummymermaid [sign in to see picture]
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    love this thread..thank you xx

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Being able to admit when you are wrong.

    And most importantly, being friends. Everything else can come second but being friends I think is so important. My OH is my best friend.

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    Irishpixie94 [sign in to see picture]
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    Biggest thing in any relationship is trust if you don't have trust you can't build a foundation for a healthy relationship

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Has anyone been watching How I Met Your Mother? (Do, it's good). I wish I could do like lilly and marshall and just pause in the middle of a fight. Anyone who can?

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    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Consent.

    I really feel that consent, even is it's consent to do non consensual things is handy. I mean consent in all things, not just sexual too.

    I just had a lov-e-r who basically thought consent is something that happened within the scene. This isn't true. But to him it was so true that it made him seem to judge me nervously and feel he couldn't do so much due to these 'cultural rules'.

    But really, to me consent is very important. From taking the change on the side, to doing something sexual. It isn't something that's just in kink or just within sexual encounters. It's there in ever part of your life, more so than you know, and opening up to it more can actually help relationships greatly.

    Don't put yourself down for the not-so-perfect moments. All relationships have their ups and downs. The downs can be great learning curves, they can help you evolve more within your relationships, they too also help you conect. Heck, look at the Disney Inside-out, this is a great example of how the bad moments can actually help towards loving bonds and fonder memories. (ok, disney is cool, no matter what age you are!).

    Explore. Mixing consent and the willingness to acept that things may not go 100% together basically. You'll be surprised how much you learn about each other or even others. Communicate and listen and explore. Heck exploring a new walking route or plaxce to eat can be a start. As these will help build both your confidences up and willingness to explore sexually and relationship wise in the future. You'll also both learn coping methods on how to deal with exploration when it's gone wrong, and some of these will be together, others will be by yourself.

    Allow yourself 'me' time and to feel things differently. You are not a clone of your partner, you are you, and you should never allow anyone to take that 100% for you. Sure share and things, but trust me even the most in love will need some 'me time'. From watching a movie, reading, to even masturbation (what ever makes you happy really).

    Sorry for the typos. I currently am lacking tea.

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    glitterismyfavouritecolour [sign in to see picture]
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    Hmm great thread! I dont have much to add that hasnt already been mentioned, compatibility, trust, love, understanding,respect, sexual attraction, kindness, all those things!

    we learn from failed relationships too so its good to look back sometimes and work out what went wrong. I got married too young when I didnt even know myself let alone what I was doing getting married! It didnt feel right at the time but I didnt know any better. Years later my confidence is in tatters (slowly getting better thanks to my amazing boyfriend)nd im not the person I was then but I do know who I am now, and going forward into a new relationship (that I want to last) I do feel more capable!!

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    glitterismyfavouritecolour wrote:

    Hmm great thread! I dont have much to add that hasnt already been mentioned, compatibility, trust, love, understanding,respect, sexual attraction, kindness, all those things!

    we learn from failed relationships too so its good to look back sometimes and work out what went wrong. I got married too young when I didnt even know myself let alone what I was doing getting married! It didnt feel right at the time but I didnt know any better. Years later my confidence is in tatters (slowly getting better thanks to my amazing boyfriend)nd im not the person I was then but I do know who I am now, and going forward into a new relationship (that I want to last) I do feel more capable!!

    I think you made a great point there about feeling right. It's sometimes difficult to have that right feeling if you don,t know how you are suppose to feel and therefore particularly in your younger days you can get it wrong.

    The right feeling I got when I got it right (second time around) is a similar feeling of butterflies. If you get this most of the time in the presence of your partner ,then IMO you have got it right.

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    Siren40 [sign in to see picture]
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    This is a great Thread Thanks Mysteron for starting it

    Agree with all the aboves. For me Determination is important. Things have been a bit amiss with oh lately. He's not much of a communicator, so I tend to have to coax him to open up. But im oh so determined not to let what we have slide as despite our sticky spell we do love each other and thats worth so much. x

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    Banannabelsplit [sign in to see picture]
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    This thread is amazing and I agree with everything the previous posters have said. I will be sharing this with my SO very soon.

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    glitterismyfavouritecolour [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote

    The right feeling I got when I got it right (second time around) is a similar feeling of butterflies. If you get this most of the time in the presence of your partner ,then IMO you have got it right

    ahh, the butterflies :) yep all the time, its a good feeling.

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