• Dating after being single for 6 years

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    Dark Soul [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 7 Jul 2009

    Arrrgh i can't believe i'm admitting to this but i feel as inexperienced and nervous as a teenage virgin. I've been married and had kids but since then i just havent met anyone special, now i have and to say i'm nervous of doing the deed is an understatement!! I don't want to look clumsy and stupid and i'm very consious of my wobbly stretchmarky tummy too :( any tips or advice for getting back in the saddle?!

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    phil76 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 13 Dec 2014

    The only advice I can give from my experience is to take your time and be honest with your partner that you are nervous and they should understand! I found it great that me and my OH did things slowly - gentle petting the first few times, intimate touching and so on and it will come good! Our first attempt at sex wasn't great as I was nervous but we just 'reset' and when it did click, it was great! Don't worry about being clumsy - if you can both laugh about it, you know everything will be fine! Don't worry about wobbly bits either - some sexy lingerie to wear during sex can help if you want to cover up but your OH shouldn't care and will probably just take it off for you anyway to see you in all your glory!

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    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 18 Oct 2015

    Take time. Don't rush things, especially involving love. You are what you are, your stretch marks are scars of love, not shame. The right man will love every part of you and don't let him see these precious parts of you until he's proven his worth. If he panics at the first sight of wobble then dump him, you need a man, not a boy. Dating is a learning curve and a journey of discovery. It teaches you what you want and don't want. You need to love yourself first before trying love someone new. Confidence is key. Good luck

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 590
    • Joined: 11 Dec 2014

    I would say don't have more than a couple of drinks and enjoy lots of kisses and let things progress, there is no rush! If the kisses are good then everything else will flow naturally.

    We all worry that our bodies don't look the same post children but in reality men are just grateful that we are willing to sleep with them, and he's really into you then he is bound to be attracted to you anyway plus also they have insecurities about their bodies and will worry about finishing too soon!

    There are plenty of gorgeous chemises, perfect for a first night together!

    I wouldn't expect an orgasm on the first counter as I find it hard to really let a new man in, don't fake it. I always think it's okay if it doesn't happen straight away but then you can teach him the how's and whys of your body! It's all part of the fun! Xx

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 5935
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    Take it slow. Its not a race . My advice is resist temptation and don't rush to get into bed.

    Get to know your partner first , just make sure hes not an axe murderer ( only joking) . Go out on plenty of dates and feel comforatable in his presence and perhaps plenty of cuddling and kissing etc. don't worry about it being in public either , just go with the flow.

    If he takes you back home then give him a good bye kiss for now.

    Your body will tell you when your ready to have sex but for now enjoy the dating experience, Your nervousness will diminish slighly as you gain confidence . You gain the confidence through the dating .Good luck and enjoy yourself.

    Perhaps when your upto the nitty gritty stage then ask again for assistance from the members .

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