• Would you be threatened by a Fleshlight?

    Peter Parker [sign in to see picture]
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    So last weeks purchase was a Fleshlight, as reviewed below


    I think this purchase caught my wife a little unawares, and she wasn't entirely enamoured with it. She's subsequently made some jokes and seems fine, but has indicated she doesn't want to use it with me. She also expressed concerns along the lines of "what if it feels better then me?" Well it certainly doesn't, which I was quick to let her know.

    Really just bought because I don't have any toys of my own and although we have a fantastic sex life, as with many couples our drives aren't perfectly alligned (I'd happily have sex a few times a day)

    What are the experiences of the guys and girls out there?

    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    No different to her using a dildo in my opinion!

    Nothing ever feels like the real thing.

    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Nothing will ever compare to the real thing! I purchased a tenga egg for my OH for Christmas that he still hasn't used.. I said it's no different from me using a dildo.

    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't think it was threatening. As long as you don't use it so much so it affects your sex life with her, I think you should feel free to use it :)

    Peter Parker [sign in to see picture]
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    Uh huh. The idea that some rubber and plastic could in anyway compare to the most intimate parts of the woman i love is pretty crazy.

    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    I was threatened by the idea of a Fleshlight, years later I use them on him more than he uses them himself! My favourites are now the Stoya ones, I used to be such a jealous person I would never have imagined using a toy modelled on another woman on my partner...let alone instructing him to watch videos of said other woman at the same time! I guess my point is time can change things, it's easy to instantly feel threatened but also easy enough to work through if you're of a mind to.

    I notice you mentioned in your review of the womanizer than your wife prefers to use it alone rather than with you. She now doesn't want to use the Fleshlight with you, I do wonder does she really have an issue with the Fleshlight or does she simply feel that certain toys are more of a solo thing? Could be worth a conversation if you'd really like to use the Fleshight together, if she is at all open to using male toys together she could be more willing to use a non realistic masturbator with you to start with and then (assuming she enjoys it) progress to the realistic opening one you've purchased at a later date? Perhaps look at the selection together, see if there are any she doesn't have an instant threat reaction to.

    If she feels insecure about your time alone with the Fleshlight could also be worth pointing out to her that she clearly enjoys solo time with toys without it affecting how much she enjoys couple time with you, it's the same for you and your solo toy- no need to feel replaced :)

    Banannabelsplit [sign in to see picture]
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    Not really. While a fleshlight can feel a lot like the real thing, it can't give the intimacy that most people need. If a guy starts using and enjoying a fleshlight more than having sex with his partner, this is definitely a cause for concern but I think the same thing goes for any sex toy 😅

    LeilaK [sign in to see picture]
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    I personally would not feel threatened. I just bought my OH the mystery male bundle, as he only has a couple of toys of his own. We have only used his toys together it is is fun, and I wouldn't mind if my OH used them alone. He says although they feel good, nothing compares to the real thing. Give her time, try the Fleshlight together, maybe she just needs some time to get used to the idea.

    I'm stealing your idea Lovebirds, instructing him to watch video's of the porn star while using her Fleshlight. That is hot, I love it. I need to buy a Stoya Fleshlight!

    Lupina [sign in to see picture]
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    To be honest, even if it did feel like the real thing - I don't think it matters. It's just a toy, personally I've never felt threatened by a toy (Maybe because I always have a much bigger collection than my partners? Haha) but with both men and women I've never had a problem with them using dildos or flesh lights.

    To be honest, I find sex boring and tiring without toys because you end up having to make all the effort! I've only ever had sex without toys a couple of times and it wasn't nearly as fun.

    Maybe she is a bit surprised since it doesn't sound like she knew about it? (I wasn't sure if that was what you were saying but if it is maybe she was just shocked by the price tag! I know I got into trouble buying a stupidly expensive double dildo - however three years later it's still my most used toy!)

    But even still - if she seems peeved maybe you should buy her a surprise treat quickly too! That way you both have a new toy! ^^

    Lupina [sign in to see picture]
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    Also I think Lovebirds_x really nailed something there about solo play and also how things change! I have some toys that I haven't used with people ever because although I love them - those are my private toys.

    Peter Parker [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Lupina, she knew I was buying something to replace the stroker. I think she just wasn't so into how realistic it looked.

    I've spent hundreds and hundreds on vibrators/toys so not the issue.

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I'll let her make the first move when it comes to us using it as a couple, as it's got to be something we're both comfortable with.

    Lupina [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh wow, that does sound weird then? If she knew about it before you'd think she would have said something before you made the purchase?

    curious_voyeurs [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a Fleshlight Flight - Really purchased out of interest. We've used it a few times 'as a couple' and it's fun, but it's mostly used solo (the shower attachment is great BTW). I even have some photos of it in use!

    Peter Parker [sign in to see picture]
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    I looked at that one curious, it it sous look a bit more stylish. I was just concerned that its dimensions wouldn't allow for full incertion. I think that would have caused much less trouble.

    GeekyEleanor [sign in to see picture]
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    Not in the leasts. I understand my husband has a very high sex drive that sometimes doesn't coincide with mine, and I always encourage him to seek his release any way he wants. I know a fleshlight isn't the real deal as much as he knows my dildos and vibrators are not a substitute for the real thing. I guess it varies from person to person, and we're pretty liberal with our toys so no, I've never felt threatened by a fleshlight.

    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    I have conflicting thoughts on this. My rational mind says what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
    My irrational mind says, will he like this toy more than me? Am I tight enough to compete? What if this desensitises him? My hubby can only go once a night, once that's happened it's game over so I want it to be from me, not a toy.
    I think the latter reason is my main argument as women can have toys and their man because we can keep on going. It may not cross your mind but what would you prefer your lovely lady to use on herself? A glittery pink rabbit that doesn't really look or act anything like yourself? Or a huge realistic looking dildo?
    Obviously these are my thoughts and may not be your ladies but worth considering maybe. I'm not saying my thoughts are fair but they are real never the less.
    Then my really naughty mind comes into play blowing all of my previous thoughts out the window, as I have a fantasy of seeing my hubby having sex with someone else and this would fulfill that without introducing another person into the bedroom 😊

    Caliente [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't have a problem at all. I personally prefer if a partner is open to experimenting with male toys because there is so much more potential fun. As others have said, I don't think it's any different to me using a dildo or vibrator. I would respect if a partner prefered to use it alone, but I'd be happy using it together if he wanted to.

    Peter Parker [sign in to see picture]
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    To be fair Lil_Red I think when we spoke about it, she wasn't mad about anotomically correct dildo's. Much more into textures, shape and how they make her feel.

    As I said at the beginning and many of stated, it's not on the same planet as the real thing, but feels better (at least before the novelty wears off) then ones own hands.

    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    Hmmm, I really don't know. My husband has strokers, tenga eggs but nothing that looks realistic. We aren't into realistic toys but that's just our preference.

    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Iam not afraid of a torch.

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