• Soft Safety Word

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    bex1213 [sign in to see picture]
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    I was chatting with my very best friend who is active in 'the lifestyle' and he said something that quite interested me. Apparently, he not only has a safety word (to signal complete stopping) but also a soft safety word to indicate that it's getting a bit much but you'd like to continue in another, perhaps slightly gentler way.

    Absolute genius, I thought, because sometimes I'll get pushed to an extreme I'm not completely happy with (when I'm subbing) just because I don't want to 100% stop.

    Does anyone else do this? What's your word/action if you do?

    We've landed on pineapple.

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    We use the traffic light system. I've always found this easy to remember as in the heat of the moment, a random word could slip my mind! I love the system of having a medium word as it keeps communication open and stops any confusion between my partner and I :)

    Green means I'm happy with this, we can continue, I'm good to go.

    Amber means I like what you're doing or I am okay with this, but I am nervous or unsure, so be gentle or go slowly. Watch out for my signal or safe word in case this gets too much.

    Red means I'm through, abort mission and stop all activity.

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    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
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    I use the traffic light system too. It's simple and easy to remember.

    I go to fetish events and play parties and that seems to be the most common system used there too. It's handy when everyone is on the same page. I can;t actually think of anyone I know who uses a random word.

    So long as whatever you pick works for you though, that is really all that matters :)

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    Jellyfish!
    Jelly means steady-on and fish or jellyfish means stop.

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    Shadow Collector [sign in to see picture]
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    I use the traffic light system for the most part, but that usually breaks the scene for me. So, I have another word that basically means 'don't break character, but please slow down!' Mercy. I like it because it makes sense in the context (I'm not just screaming 'bluebottle' out of nowhere) but is befinitely recognisabe.

    It works well for me.

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    Caliente [sign in to see picture]
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    Shadow Collector - that's logical and very hot! I'm definitely stealing that.

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    Kanu Suckmeov [sign in to see picture]
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    Caliente wrote:

    Shadow Collector - that's logical and very hot! I'm definitely stealing that.

    Yes me too!

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Shadow Collector wrote:

    I use the traffic light system for the most part, but that usually breaks the scene for me. So, I have another word that basically means 'don't break character, but please slow down!' Mercy. I like it because it makes sense in the context (I'm not just screaming 'bluebottle' out of nowhere) but is befinitely recognisabe.

    It works well for me.

    +1 Great minds think alike - lol. We used to use the traffic light system in the early days, but I had the same issue as you. So I decided to use 'mercy' too - It also sounds sooo sexy to me - begging for mercy - lol xx

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes mine is "ouch"

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    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
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    I've used traffic lights before but prefer to just alternate screams and moans so if they get really loud then he knows to calm it down a bit on the impact. I also say "switch" if I'm okay but just with a different toy or "break" if I need a few minutes but that doesn't work for everyone's play

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    Traffic light for us too. I did have random words too but I could never remember them in the heat of the moment.
    Like the sound of mercy too but I'd probably forget that as well.

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    [suspended user]

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    No idea why but we settled on Jupiter for our safe word and Mars is our amber/caution word because it's close to Jupiter but not quite there!!

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    Caliente [sign in to see picture]
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    Usedworkshoes wrote:

    No idea why but we settled on Jupiter for our safe word and Mars is our amber/caution word because it's close to Jupiter but not quite there!!

    Hahaha Love this logic, too.

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    Pierced_n_Spanked [sign in to see picture]
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    Traffic lights here too. It's logical and easy to remember.

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    Kanu Suckmeov [sign in to see picture]
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    Usedworkshoes wrote:

    No idea why but we settled on Jupiter for our safe word and Mars is our amber/caution word because it's close to Jupiter but not quite there!!

    I think your find "Uranus" closer to Jupiter than Mars

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    andyappetite [sign in to see picture]
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    Traffic lights for us

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    kinkykouple [sign in to see picture]
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    'oww' if particular action was a little to much but overall I like where things are going so don't to to stop things too much(ideal during things like spankings were I want it to keep escallating but that spank was a little too hard so soon).

    'Mercy' if I need a little breather and/or want to bring the whole scene down a notch for a short while but not end things. Basically ramp things down and give us a moment to decide what we want to do.

    We use 'Please' as our master safeword whatever it preceeds must be done immediately, good way to stay in character and also manipulate the scene ie "please don't spank me anymore I'll do what you want" would indicate the spanking is to stop but play can continue in a different direction such as sex.

    It's also a word the person in control can say if they start getting uncomfortable with something.

    Bare in mind this is just what we sometimes use, we are by no means very experienced.

    Also the use of please can sometimes be a drawback as during roleplay you might be begging and say please by accident causing confusion, but at least it fails safer.

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    Treasure90 [sign in to see picture]
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    I usually go for "Mercy" as a soft safe word, as a message to make him slow down and go a bit easier on me. And "Danger" as a hard safe word, to make him stop immediately and release me.

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