• Coping with distance

    Banannabelsplit [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
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    • Joined: 24 Nov 2015

    Anyone else here in a long term relationship? I'm interested to hear how you cope emotionally as well as sexually.

    My boyfriend and I are apart for the summer and won't be seeing each other until later this month. We keep in touch regularly and occassionally sext. And we'd probably do stuff over the phone if we weren't worried about being heard by our families.

    Banannabelsplit [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 520
    • Joined: 24 Nov 2015

    Crap I mean long distance relationship 😅

    FrozenAngel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1652
    • Joined: 20 May 2011

    My partner and I are in a long distance relationship, have been for six years tomorrow. He's in Canada and I'm in the UK.

    Most of our relationship is spent long distance, and we keep in touch regularly via Skype - in fact, we're pretty strange as we keep a constant Skype conversation open. By that, I mean we literally have a Skype video call up 24/7, whether we're there or not. In a way it's like we're living together without physically being together.

    We tend to go on about our lives as normal and interact with each other when we're both able to. I.E he leaves for work, and I'll do my work, he'll come home and occasionally if we have time we'll cook together. On Saturdays we have 'date night' in which we watch a movie together / play online games. We do our own things too, currently he's sat there faffing around with his headset and watching anime, whilst I'm here replying to this and watching Rizzoli and Isles.

    When not at home we tend to use WhatsApp (since it just uses data) to send sms’s to each other, and generally it’s what we always use to send picture messages too. We also have phone/skype sex as well as sending sexts. When possible we’ll use sex toys that have APPs so they can be controlled by the other person regardless of distance, using Bluetooth and internet. We-Vibe 4 plus, Rave, Nova, Lovense Lush ect are all toys that we use. We also buy each other toys, and tell the other person to use that specific toy.

    We try to have a visit at least twice a year, but sometimes that’s just not possible and it can be a year in between visits. On one occasion it was two years between our last visits.

    Communication and trust is important in any relationship, but for long distance it is absolutely vital to keep the relationship strong. Making time for the other person is also important so they don’t feel like they’re being pushed to the side. Depending on how you two are able to communicate, setting up date nights may be a good idea, so watching movies together or even just lay there talking is a great way to spend time together. You can watch shows together on a platform called rabb.it which is pretty good. You create an account and sign in and you both see that screen and can browse the internet together there/watch YouTube and Netflix.

    -Well... That was longer than intended. Sorry.

    MissNoir [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 995
    • Joined: 30 Jun 2014

    What I've learned is, it gets easier the longer you do it.

    We've hit the month mark of being apart and I had a wobble today but as this is the second time round it feels easier than last year. We skype once or twice a week, we have a giggle, play a few online games, have a few naughty moments. We use a programme on the laptop sometimes where we can access the others laptops to watch something (we both love Suits so we watch it together) We text everyday and I'll send a few photos now and then, especially when I buy new lingerie. As for the sexual side of things I have a much higher drive but the wait between being intimate is worth it, I struggled the first time round but because I've been keeping myself busy with running, the gym, helping my mum out it hasn't felt as bad this time but I do feel lonely at night sometimes so I spoon a pillow. I'm visiting him in 2 weeks to split up the time apart as he'll be back next month.

    Trust is a major key I think, it's hard not physically seeing them but the wait really does make you appreciate each other when you finally see one another again, I've had a lot of people question why I can trust him being away but I trust him completely and he does me. When ever I have a wobble I'llskype him and have a cry then feel silly and we'll laugh over it. The best advice I can offer is keep yourself busy, and give one another something to look forward too ^_^ Stay strong xx

    glitterismyfavouritecolour [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 145
    • Joined: 3 Feb 2015

    hmmm, im in a ldr too, finding it hard quite alot of the time recently but when we manage to get together its really really amazing. so its highs and lows. dont have alot of advice just thought id say hi and I share your pain!

    we skype as much as possible, use whatsapp all day every day, facebook , send each other post, any way we can stay in touch i guess!

    how do i cope sexually- having a date to look forward to really helps, and we sext and go on skype , i do feel really close to him even though were apart, the connection between us is very strong. its lovely and makes me want him all the time :)

    emotionally- missing someone is hard!! all the little things that normal couples have , waking up together in the morning, i want that too. so that makes me sad, but im still very happy we found each other. big rollercoaster!! i try and think of the future, thats my only half decent coping mechanism, and knowing that he is feeling the same emotions as me.

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