• Sex lives

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    Coralyn x [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 15
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2016

    So my question is ..... is everyone here happy with their sex lives .... been with my fella 16 years ... im only 36 and our sexual appetites are completely different .... i would have it all day everyday and will try anything ... he can go for months .... yes months with nothing .... its driving me insane ....lol ... so i was just wondering what you lot think ....

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1544
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2015

    I range from completley dissatisfied to best sex ever. I could have it twice a day no problem whereas his drive is much lower than mine.

    Have you spoken to your guy to see what's going on?

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    VioletWolf [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 25 Jun 2014

    My partner's sex drive is way lower than mine, and the quality definitely ranges between just ok and great. He's not into the same things that I am either so that leaves me lacking a little too but he's trying.

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 16 Feb 2015

    VioletWolf wrote:

    My partner's sex drive is way lower than mine, and the quality definitely ranges between just ok and great. He's not into the same things that I am either so that leaves me lacking a little too but he's trying.

    Feel your pain. My guy is great for a few sessions then it goes back to once a week and its pants. We just have to find a range where we are both happy and try to stay within those numbers to stay happy. I wish our sex was kinkier.
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    Shadow Collector [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3660
    • Joined: 2 Apr 2014

    My current partner (who I haven't seen for too long thanks to flat difficulties) and I are very compatible. We have similar interests and sex drives, so it works out pretty well. I guess I got very lucky!

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    Hot Pants [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 8 Jan 2016

    Honest answer no...I've been with my partner for 20 years and I can most definitely say the honeymoon period is over, he won't go near me sexually, he sleeps in the spare room and I'm very unhappy but that's another story for another day lol, hence why I have a lots of gorgeous toys and I love LH and its forums and yes I'm usually too shy to post anything but today I needed to rant!! lol xx

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    Coralyn x [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 15
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2016

    Yeah we have spoke .... i mean there are lots of issues ... and i do try to understand .. i just need more ... actual sex is good ... but not mind blowing .... other stuff is better ... but he doesnt like giving oral ... hes got a kink that i FULLY fulfil for him ... and i feel rather short changed .... hence my question .... just want to know if everyone else really is having the time of their lives sexually and im missing out orrrr are things really not GREAT for everyone x HOTPANTS glad you had your rant hun x

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    Redpanda69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 28
    • Joined: 27 Jul 2016

    I think everyone thinks the grass is greener occasionally. My sex life is fine - I'd occasionally like a bit more risque but I can't grumble.

    I suppose that's why I'm here - to live out some fantasies vicariously.

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1826
    • Joined: 4 Jan 2016

    My sex life is so unsatisfying that I get really depressed because of it. I've never had a great sex life and never enjoyed sex and now my partner and are trying to make things better but it's just so hard. Now we both struggle with unsatisfaction yet we both lack a sex drive because of how bad we feel about sex and and it never working out.
    The grass is definitely not greener here

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    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 443
    • Joined: 20 Jun 2014

    I'm really unsatisfied right now. My OH struggles with depression and anxiety and he's hardly sleeping so we hardly sleep in the same bed since he sleeps even worse when we share a bed.

    As regulars will know I enjoy frequenting fetish clubs but we haven't been to a night in months as he hasn't been up to it. I buy new toys and some he loves the look of but they just get put in the draw with the rest.

    We still have sex occasionally but it's a quicky now and then and it's really getting me down. I asked him if he still wants to goto fetish clubs and he does he's just not been feeling up to it on the nights they're on. I don't go on about it to him as he's not happy about it either and obviously has it worse since he's the one whose suffering.

    Couple this with us both living with our respective parents and having jobs and it's even worse. :(

    Edit: Although this sounds really mean it's kind of comforting to see that other forumers are feeling unsatisfied too. A lot of the time I'm looking on forums thinking everyones out there having the best sex ever besides me but it's comforting to see that other couples are struggling too.

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    rosesarered [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 9
    • Joined: 24 Jul 2016

    I'm also 36 coralyn, have been with my hubby for 18 years and our situation is similar. I'm not too adventurous (yet!), but he definitely has a lower libido than I do which has caused us issues. The details in my intro post, as well as what I've done this week to try and improve things: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/introduce-yourself/1486714-roses-are-red/ Let me know if you ever want to talk about it!

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    CharlieBoots [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 31 Jul 2016

    I see my OH once or twice a month and every time it is amazing, I want to try and take it to the next level if at all possible !

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    rosesarered [sign in to see picture]
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    • Posts: 9
    • Joined: 24 Jul 2016

    MondaySixteenth wrote:

    Edit: Although this sounds really mean it's kind of comforting to see that other forumers are feeling unsatisfied too. A lot of the time I'm looking on forums thinking everyones out there having the best sex ever besides me but it's comforting to see that other couples are struggling too.

    I totally agree - I thought we were the most abnormal people in the world, not helped by my mother telling me about my dad's erectile difficulties following treatment for prostrate cancer (EVEN MY PARENTS ARE HAVING MORE SEX THAN ME!?!). I've already found this forum really helpful in trying to work out and resolve some of our issues - I hope you're able to as well.

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1826
    • Joined: 4 Jan 2016

    I toi find it helpful too ser I'm not alone. Although it's only women who have shared their unsatisfaction yet.

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    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 443
    • Joined: 20 Jun 2014

    rosesarered wrote:

    MondaySixteenth wrote:

    Edit: Although this sounds really mean it's kind of comforting to see that other forumers are feeling unsatisfied too. A lot of the time I'm looking on forums thinking everyones out there having the best sex ever besides me but it's comforting to see that other couples are struggling too.

    I totally agree - I thought we were the most abnormal people in the world, not helped by my mother telling me about my dad's erectile difficulties following treatment for prostrate cancer (EVEN MY PARENTS ARE HAVING MORE SEX THAN ME!?!). I've already found this forum really helpful in trying to work out and resolve some of our issues - I hope you're able to as well.

    Loved hearing your story on your intro thread :) So glad you guys have been able to explore more and hope it continues for you both! I wish the forums could help me more but it's honestly just a case of my OH going back and forth to the doctors for different anti-depressants until hopefully one of them helps. Solo play until then :/

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    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 345
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2015

    Yeah I'd like to echo other people on here; I too have a much higher sex drive and am more adverturus than my partner. He never initiates and I tend to do most of the "work" with regards to foreplay etc., but I kind of feel bad asking for things because I feel like I convinced him into having sex in the first place so I have to make sure he's enjoying it. It's good to see I'm not alone, and I think the stereotype of men having higher sex drives is completely wrong; it can go either way.

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    Siren40 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 170
    • Joined: 5 Jan 2016

    Jezebella wrote:

    Yeah I'd like to echo other people on here; I too have a much higher sex drive and am more adverturus than my partner. He never initiates and I tend to do most of the "work" with regards to foreplay etc., but I kind of feel bad asking for things because I feel like I convinced him into having sex in the first place so I have to make sure he's enjoying it. It's good to see I'm not alone, and I think the stereotype of men having higher sex drives is completely wrong; it can go either way.

    Its so true! I always thought that men had a much higher sex drive, but im not sure now.

    There are 6 years between hubby and I, and I thought some of it was down to his age. Sometimes I feel like he's lazy! And I definitely feel like im the one trying to keep our sex life vibrant and fun

    There are times ive thought, right im not going to try to initiate sex, and see how long it takes before he makes an effort. But i cave in, because i need to feel wanted and loved.

    I hope some of the fellas on here post soon, so we can see how they feel about it

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    Siren40 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 5 Jan 2016

    Must admit though, when its good its very good. Would just like a lot more!!

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    N&Mc [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 203
    • Joined: 12 Dec 2014

    Admit that I find our sex life monotonous at times. I would happily have it every day and I am open to trying new kinkier things. Where as she can go weeks without any desire and is more anxious to experimenting.
    We have had problems where she thinks there is something wrong with me as I am so sexually charged. But it is just another one of life's challenges to overcome, as we both love each other very much.

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    Redpanda69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 28
    • Joined: 27 Jul 2016

    I'm a man! By the grass being greener I meant two things - that others must be having better sex and sex with someone else (other that your usual partner) would be better.

    I think it's human nature to want more some times. There's always things that you want to try that you'd rather not ask your partner for, whether it's more often or more variety, even if it's just because you don't want them to feel their efforts aren't appreciated.

    I guess it's easy for a man as we cum easier. Orgasm = happy and move on?

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