• seeming to be very quick

    1469575012
    curiouscatbug [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 25 Jul 2016

    Hi

    So i will just jump right into it and reach out for a little advice or even to just know if this is "common"

    So my partner and i have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years now, i'm an incredibly lucky man and thank my lucky stars each day.

    a few life situations have happened and has resorted in us seeing each other just once a week for the time being, say out of a month, we have dropped to having sex maybe 2 or 3 times...i try and initiate a lot but get knocked back, along with offering oral.

    she has been feeling self concious about her weight lately (even though she looks spectacular to me) so it has stopped being her jumping my bones and more into me getting worried im doing something wrong or what have you (joys of overthinking)

    but our relationship is still stong, when we get down to it lately, i dont seem to last as long as i used to even though im much more in shape...we could go at it for around an hour/hour and a half easy (without counting foreplay) but now im lucky if i can hit the 30 min mark

    any tips to help get my confidence back in the bedroom?

    thank you for listening/reading

    1469579765
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1498
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    Hello! I have read this a few times but struggled how to word a response. I'm having an anxious few days so worried I am offensive.

    You seem like myself and my husband in a way. Me and my husband suffered a blip (ok probably half a dozen) when I went off sex. I felt like I have no feeling to it, everything got so samey I just lost interest. It had nothing to do with my husband, it was me. I felt fat and unattractive. When he told me I was attractive etc I didn't believe him. I'm a depressive so a tweek of my meds helped a bit.

    We only see each other a few hours a week, I stay over once every few weeks? Do you stay over when you see each other? I know with my husband its a case of "ok we have so many hours do we do dinner and a movie or a might of passion". Sometimes romance wins, its finding the balance. Try romancing her a bit. Massages, movies, meals etc.

    Do you use any sex toys at all? Are you open about sex? It was only on April (after over a decade together!) I felt comfortable to go onto sex discussions in depth. You could mention LoveHoney, if she wants to have a look at the site with you. If there's anything she wants to try out. She may surprise you.

    As for lasting longer 30 minutes is pretty good going in my opinion! If you're concerned have you tried cock rings? My husband doesn't really last long at all but these:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27203

    really helped. He lasted longer, could keep going after he came, and really made him huge! That gave him a huge confidence boost.

    I hope everything works out. Sorry if I have yittered on a bit!

    1469580273
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 30 Mar 2015

    Hello and welcome.

    Firstly, if you see less of each other and have sex less then your stamina might decrease as your excitement levels increase. As a quick fix you could try a cockring, the adjustable ones are good you can make them as tight or loose as you like.

    For a longer term solution maybe a change in style is needed. Massage to help your lady relax without any pressure for sex. Or perhaps even a blindfold and try some sensory play, if she blindfolds you, then you can't see her and she will feel less self consious.

    On an individual basis, you could look into edging, it's a longer term plan but apparently it really works. But I'm not the best for giving advice on that.

    Dont be too hard on yourself 30 mins is a good period of time, and none of us are the stallions we were at 18 years of age. It's the pleasure for both parties that counts rather than the stop watch. I hope these suggestions help.

    p.s. The cockring roseycheek has suggested is a good one my OH enjoys it and so do I.

    1469583382
    Lovehoney - Paige [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1120
    • Joined: 28 Mar 2014

    Hello! Firstly welcome to the forum :)

    My partner and I have been together three years and for the first year or so we were pretty much 'like bunnies' should I say. Back then our sex drives were ridiculously consistent and lasted forever but over time we kind of calmed down.

    These days my partner and I don't have sex very often, possibly once a week. Lot's of different things for this really which includes our work schedules (they are entirely different) and of course life. It's something we are happy with and discuss often, and I can also admit I have put weight on and can get self consious during sex too.

    Anyway getting to my point is that my partner tends not to last as long as he should like anymore, I don't think its because of anything serious but mostly because since we are having sex less the intensitity has increased for both of us. Would it perhaps be something like that? If so, the consisency might bring you back to normal again.

    Of course there are plenty of things you can consider too such as cock rings and delay sprays too.

    Best of luck!

    1469607477
    Ash2345 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 31 Oct 2009

    Firstly, please let me say I would be very happy if most men could hit the 30 min mark. I wouldn't overly concern yourself about that. And hey if you're worried pull out and give her some oral.

    But I think the main thing you need to do is just let your partner know quite how sexy you find her, compliment her if she's wearing smething new, Give her kisses, take a shower with her and wash her, it doesn't need to go somewhere all the time... but make her feel beautiful and wanted.

    Good luck.

    1469627464
    curiouscatbug [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 25 Jul 2016

    hey, thank you all so much for the advice and tips, it has put my mind to ease so much, i am going to place an order for a few rings and some toys in a few days, see if i can solve my own confidence issues and hopefully help my star with hers

    you have all been wonderful

    1469631019
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1498
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    Good luck curiouscatbag!

    1469689825
    shy perv [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 3 Sep 2009

    I think its something that just happens, my wife seems to go through phases. Ranging from horny as anything and as much sex as you can cope with that wnd suddenly to sex maybe 2-3 times a month.

    1469697847
    Mandixx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 22 Feb 2015

    I think sometimes this happens to in a long relationship. At the beginning, you can't get enough of each other, having sex more than once a day....to then near to nothing as the years go by.

    Like suggested maybe buy things that will help you before with your confidence. I know with me, my view on my body can be a problem, so maybe buy her a nice baby doll set to feel good in and you will also get something out of seeing her in it. Shower her in compliments, go away for a "relaxing" weekend and try to ignite the passions that we all forgot once we are in a loving relationship.

    On your stamina, 30 mins is good as some men can be "all about them" and not last that long. Good luck

    1469726749
    shy perv [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 3 Sep 2009

    The thing is sexy clothes can end up not being worn or make things awkward as they can be too contrived. My mrs has had stuff and worn it maybe once or twice if Im lucky.

    1469728889
    PhilJones [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 27 Jan 2014

    The average man lasts around 4 mins from the moment of penetration. 30 mins is a very long time- kudos!

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