• How can I get my wife more interested in sex?

    1466347052
    cannaescot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 19 Jun 2016

    I'm working away for a few months and obviously wan my wife and I to have THE best time when we visit. But she refuses to do any kind of lingerie, and isn't playing ball when I try and text saying what i'd like us to do together. I only moved away this month, but i'd say we only had sex 3 or 4 times THIS YEAR despite living together that whole time.

    I regularly tell her she's sexy, beautiful, buy her presents write her cards etc.

    Does anyone have any advice?

    1466351645
    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 583
    • Joined: 11 Dec 2014

    How old is she? Do you have children and how old are they? How long have you been together? Has she always been not terribly horny or has this changed in the last year?

    1466352336
    bagpuss356 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 144
    • Joined: 6 Sep 2008

    Afternoon. Until recently I had similar problems I am the female in the relationship and we only had sex on a couple of occasions within a 12 month period. In my experience there is normally an underlying problem. Therewas iin my case so I joined this forum and help came flooding in. I joined of my own back and my oh was none the wiser. Thanks to advice on here I ordered my very first clit vibe along with lube and have had several sessions of alone time experimenting in order to help myself get turned on and in the mood. The more my oh brought up the lack of sex life the longer my leg's stayed shut as I felt under pressure. I would imagine there is an underlying issue that you need to get to the bottom of. Mine was vaginal soreness/being dry and therefore uncomfortable during sex. This is only a couple of months ago too. Now I experiment on my own and have got to know myself well its been a much healthier sex life. Oh is delighted. I have purchased some nice things from the lh website and we are for the first time in 10 years getting there in that department. Don't give up on your oh and be mindful that your requests could be making feel under pressure. I can report that I was certainly similar and not interested in sex at all. . Now it's the opposite. No dry vagina thanks to to a lube off this site. I dress up for my oh and have recently purchased some bondage items to try in good fun. Even though you tell her she is sexy if she doesn't believe it herself it remains a long term problem. My oh can't get enough of me now and that is mainly down to confidence building.

    1466357001
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3609
    • Joined: 6 Aug 2014

    Hi there.

    It's a tricky one. There could be so many things causing her lack of interest in sex. It could be stress, tiredness, hormone problems, fear of pregnancy or body confidence issues, feeling under pressure to perform or so many other reasons.


    It can be really difficult to get to the bottom of what's wrong and how you approach it can make all the difference. Sometimes well meant comments about "being sexy" or "wanting to do xyz" can seem like pestering so maybe let her know how much you love her and appreciate her and miss her when you are apart. When you do see her again take her for a meal or go to the movies. Try to do anything fun that doesn't just involve sex like when you first started dating.

    As for lingerie do you mean sexy stuff like stockings, suspenders and basques? (I hated wearing these for a while and just felt I looked tarty and it was the last thing I wanted to do was get all dressed up and perform when we were stuck in a rut but now we are back on track I love wearing them again.)


    Maybe get her a gift of something pretty rather than sexy to make her feel good about herself. There is some lovely stuff on here like the lace robes and the Lovehoney spoil me satin babydoll sets that would make her feel good without feeling "tarty". There is some gorgeous bodystockings too that are really flattering.


    Our sexlife really suffered after having kids. I was shattered even though my OH was a brilliant help with them but when we finally collapsed into bed the last thing I wanted to do was get jiggy. Sex just felt like another chore on the to do list and it got to the stage where I felt wrongly that was all my OH was after when he was nice to me.


    It took a long letter, an even longer talk, a back to basics approach focusing on kissing, cuddles and spending time together and enjoying each others company again with no pressure to have sex that got us back on track. Once we got the intimacy and feelings of love back then I started to be more interested in having sex and finding ways to improve things which led to me looking online for tips to bring back the spark and it was then that I discovered Lovehoney and with the help of products I bought from here and advice and tips from other forum members our sexlife has gone from strength to strength.


    Good luck :)

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.