• Embarrassed to bring it up

    1466198148
    mcpt [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2009

    Hi I recently discovered that I really want my girlfriend to play with my ass but don't want to mention it to her just in case she thinks I'm a bit weird as she can be a bit prudish at times.recently when she has been sucking my cock she runs her hand over my anus and it feels good but that's as far as it goes,I give her signs that I like it but don't know if she is maybe a bit apprehensive about going further. So to cut a long story short.WHAT SHOULD I DO?

    1466198898
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 11366
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2014

    There isn't really an easy way around this..... you're going to have to sit down and talk to her . Do you look on here together ? If so you could click on the anal toys and say something like 'ooh, they look fun, maybe we could try that' ! Does she let you play with her anally ?

    Anal play takes a while to get used too......a lot of people are put off because 'society' frowns upon it to a certain extent. Have a chat to her, it's the only way I'm afraid. Good luck xx

    1466199075
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3609
    • Joined: 6 Aug 2014

    Hi there. Have you had a play on your own with some lube to see if you really do like fingers there first? It could be it's just the idea of it that you like rather than the actual feel of it so best to be sure. Maybe check it is something that you do like first before you talk to her.

    You could maybe bring it up by asking her somewhere private outside of the bedroom if there is anything she would like to try sexually together that you haven't done yet. Hopefully you'll find out something new that she would like to try and then when she asks you if there's anything you would like to try you could say that you are a bit curious as it felt really nice when she put her hand near there the last time. Hope this helps :)

    1466199135
    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3609
    • Joined: 6 Aug 2014

    Terri JJ wrote:

    There isn't really an easy way around this..... you're going to have to sit down and talk to her . Do you look on here together ? If so you could click on the anal toys and say something like 'ooh, they look fun, maybe we could try that' ! Does she let you play with her anally ?

    Anal play takes a while to get used too......a lot of people are put off because 'society' frowns upon it to a certain extent. Have a chat to her, it's the only way I'm afraid. Good luck xx

    +1 to Terri JJ. Great advice as always :)
    1466199806
    mcpt [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2009

    It's just me who looks on here and chooses and buys the toys.she has let me take her anally a handful of times over the years but that's always me initiating it and I have never played with myself so maybe I wouldn't like it.its more the idea of her doing it as I think that we have been together so long that I just what to do different things as I feel sometimes things are getting stale and boring😔 Thanks for the replies

    1466200084
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1487
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    My husband brought this up with me. He was like you, a bit embarrassed to bring it up. He also didn't know how to bring it up, its not something you want to bring up in bed or over a curry watching Doctor Who. He wrote it down. As we sat together he told me he wanted to tell me something and gave me the paper. At first I was a bit thrown by it, I didn't know what to think but we talked about it. The initial bringing it up was done so things were a lot easier after that.

    I can be a bit "prudey", its only since I joined LoveHoney I have been more open. I didn't shoot him down, I told him that I'm just not ready for that yet. He respected my decision and I respected him for feeling he could bring it up with me. It is definitely something we will work towards in the future.

    Be big, be brave, take deep breaths.

    1466202451
    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1425
    • Joined: 15 May 2016

    Buy her a strap on, that will give her an idea lol

    1466231348
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4622
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2015

    Ok so I'm with the talk about it group, but maybe on a more round about way. Like " I read this article in this men's magazine the other day saying the men really enjoy sex/blowjobs more when they get anal stimulation too. What do you think to trying it?" Something along those lines.

    If she is a firm no, maybe buy yourself a glass butt plug. If she she says maybe, then some nice lube might be good (remember to make sure her nails are short!)

    Also be prepaired for some unexpected requests from her, once you get the conversation going she might let you know some things she has wanted to try.

    1466245556
    HungLikeA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 10 Jun 2016

    I agree, get some lube and check that you actually like a finger up there first. I think I am one step ahead of you, and tried this step, and still want to bring it up with my oh.

    I'd like us both to try a bit of anal play, problem I have is soon after we got together my oh told me that she had tried anal with a previous partner, and hated it, so doesn't want to try again. However, I am almost certain that on that occasion no lube was involved - no wonder she hated it! Perhaps if she starts with me she'll be willing to try again too...

    mcpt - does she often run her hand down there when she's sucking you? If so, next time you could tell her it feels good while she's doing it. You never know, she may just be looking for a signal of encouragement from you, and is keen to go further herself. Good luck!

    1466268815
    Madskitzo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2011

    How long have you been with her? If it's new then I guess it is very tricky because it don't want to push them away but, if you have been with your partner for a while then really it's about communication. Like any sexual activity, you don't know what the other person likes until you talk about it. Try not to worry, just say to them, do you have any fantasies, it might get the ball rolling!

    I've been with my current partner for 18 months, it is a bit stressy mentioning fantasies and fetishes but I'm glad I have spoken up..... My girlfriend loves to have fun with my ass and it is my favourite sexual activity!

    1466289680
    FirstTimeLovers [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 60
    • Joined: 23 Oct 2014

    It sounds like i could have wrote the original post! I tried hint and indirectly say it but she never fully got the picture or at least acted on it. I suppose all you can really do is talk about it. If there was anything a bit 'out there' we often said it during sex when out inhibitions where at there lowest so rather than thinknig just acted on them.

    1466427627
    N&Mc [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 187
    • Joined: 12 Dec 2014

    I found the best way is just to be open. Discuss what you'd like her to do, maybe it's something she'd like to do but she was afraid to suggest it. Take things slowly build things up maybe use http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35220 so she can use a finger and perhaps work your way up to maybe using a toy.

    1466432332
    kc. [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 283
    • Joined: 10 Jan 2010

    Cosmopolitan magazine ran some articles from the perspective of women who love pegging their men and men who love being pegged. It's all available on line and perhaps you could accidently search and say look at this and then gauge her reaction and start a discussion up about it.

    it is awesome being pegged. My wife really loves doing me and I'm all for it, sometimes literally on all fours for it. Tell her said it's fantastic and she will feel so in command.

    1466440086
    Naughty Miss K [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 859
    • Joined: 20 Nov 2012

    If she likes anal play on herself, thenyou could try bringing it up by saying you're curious and would like to join in the anal play.

    If she isn't into/hasn't tried analy play herself you could find a couple of beginner toys on here, and show her the pages and ask if it's something she'd like to try, and if she would be up for trying it with you receiving.

    Good luck! :)

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.