• Question for dominants/submissives

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    Rainbeau [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 15 Jun 2016

    I have a job where I have to be in control. So when at home in the bedroom I like to play the submissive, my husband sometimes needs some persuasion in this any tips.

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    regular_john [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 32
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2011

    I am the stereotypical submissive male, in fact I'm virtually a cliche. I have quite a high powered, responsible job that involves being in charge a lot, then as soon as I get home I drop to my hands and knees and worship my girlfriend. I wouldn't have it any other way!

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 19 Feb 2015

    In the bedroom I am submissive but not the doting, sit with your head bowed type. I like there to be force, degradation, fear... Think kidnap victim doing as they are told rather than people pleaser. There is a bit of wanting to please him, but that's not the main motivation. He decides the details of what we do and what toys get used but if he wants to have an extreme session, we talk about it before hand to see if I'm up for it too. We both buy toys (me more than him) and although we can both suggest things to try, it is usually him that does. He is very creative and imaginative. I am not at all.

    In day to day life, it depends who I am with. I don't really think I am really dominant or submissive. I'd say independent (often to a fault...) was more accurate.

    In relationships I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm terrified of losing my independence and struggle to get close to people. In work situations I'd hate to be totally in charge or to have to be in charge of others (mainly because of the politics). I'm most comfortable being able to work pretty much independently and just ask for guidance when necessary. At social events I get very anxious so I cling to people for support but once I know people and feel comfortable, I'm confident (but not dominant).

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    GeekyEleanor [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 22 Nov 2014

    Sum Sub wrote:

    I think you probably know the answer for me, but I'll say it anyway.

    Professionally, I am a lead taker, that's not to say dominant, since being dominant professionally doesn't always get the best from people, but rather I facilitate.

    Socially my level of dominance depends largely upon my interest in the social activity being undertaken - it's very much a case of choose the battles I want to win and be dominant in those.

    As a family man I am switchy, depending upon which works best - sometimes the kids need to feel like they've won!

    Sexually I am whatever you want me to be - I am a satisfier; this is probably closest to my true personality. As can be read in my recent blog post about my senses.
    Does this make me submissive? Possibly, but I've learnt it's OK to get what I want too; so now the street goes both ways...

    Anyway I waffle. In short one should choose the best response for any given scenario.

    All of the above.

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    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 11 Dec 2014

    Lovinthetoys wrote:

    We are complete opposites really, Im quite dominant in the bedroom, but laid back in life, and the OH is submissive in the bedroom, and fairly in control normally.

    Think its a nice change from normal life to switch it up.

    Yes, it's nice just to not be responsible all the time! To be told what to do and please like that is a pleasure! X

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    Loam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 29 Dec 2014

    Similar to several previous responses, I have a position of responsibility at work and am expected to lead. My mistress had to step back from a job with considerable leadership elements to rebalance after children arrived. I therefore think our D/s activities are certainly partly to do with us both doing what we can't do in everyday life. We are mostly just roleplaying power reversal scenarios. As part of this I am 'forced' to tell her about my fantasies since we last met. We have both bought toys and it is an incredible thrill to be sent a a link to a new one and being commanded to reply with what I want her to do with it. Most of these have subsequently been enacted so I'm working up to some naughty things I never thought I'd find someone else to do for real.

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    Madskitzo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2011

    I think in most partnerships there is generally a more dominant person and a more submissive person. I think it probably makes the relationship work better or you could end up never doing anything because no one will take the lead. This is just exclusively in the bedroom.

    In the relationships I've had, I've been the dominant one, not sure why, it has just always worked out like that. Have to admit at times it has got me down because I would love the female to take the lead a bit more in the bedroom and ask (or even demand) for what she wants.

    Speaking to friends, it always seems there is a more dominant person be that make of female, some of my friends are truly under the thumb lol

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