• Still Sexy?

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    Twilightgirl123 [sign in to see picture]
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    Myself and my partner have only been together 5 months but our relationship is very serious and we don't see us as ever breaking up type thing. Even though we're both very young.

    Basically, today I sent him a sexy pic of me dressed up in stuff that I know he loves for going out to a club (the club is quite alternative and dressing sexy in bras with spikes on them is very normal) that I've never been to before but he has. And he was like yeah that'd be fine and giving me his opinion on what could wear.

    But that was it. I don't always expect him be showering me with compliments but usually he would always be like 'Wow! You look great' or words to that effect. And then I noticed, I don't remember the last time he complimented me that way. Even though he always says he loves me.

    I'm not always very confident and I know that but the idea of him not being attracted to me or finding me sexy is very upsetting to me. I know I should talk to him but I don't know how to go about it.

    What should I do?

    All help will be greatly appreciated! Thanks :)

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Just a quick question - is it possible he received the pic when it wasn't convenient for him to send a 'proper' reply. Could he have been in company? Working? Driving?

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    What you should do is not look too deeply in to it. He's not there with you, you don't know what he was doing when he sent you the reply, who he was with, what else was on his mind. Oh the texted word is so beautifully misconstruable.

    In other words, he has said your outfit is fine. That is all he has said, nothing more, nothing less, there is aboslutely nothing more for you to read into that text that what it actually says.

    Get more feedback when you speak to him...!

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    He may also feel that as the relationship appears to be serious, it is more important for you to know he loves you rather than just lusts after you.

    Do you tell him how sexy he is?

    A quick chat should sort this without too much hassle I think xx

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    I've mentioned a few times on here about how we bring things up in our relationship. We write it down and the other will read it, sometimes it can be difficult to start the conversation. It works for us.

    One of the things we did address in the past was compliments. We have been together for over a decade, I'm not 19 anymore. I have wobbly bits from having children and stones heavier from when we met. I thought I wasn't attractive anymore. Turns out he always thinks I look great but struggles to express it, what didn't help is when he would say "you look great" I wouldn't accept it. It was a case of "what are you after?" or a sarcastic "aye, right!" So he decided to keep it to himself.

    Now I've come to accept when he says I look good I actually do look good and he will vocalise when I do.

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    sugarboobies2232 [sign in to see picture]
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    Talk to him face to face. As sub said, when things are jn a text it is difficult to get a full picture. Us women over complicate everything and read so much into something when we shouldn't. If he didn't like it he would of said something i am sure. See what he says when you see him next.

    X

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    Twilightgirl123 [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    Just a quick question - is it possible he received the pic when it wasn't convenient for him to send a 'proper' reply. Could he have been in company? Working? Driving?

    He was at home and alone. I specifically asked if he was alone and able to talk and he said yes :)

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    Cricketfan [sign in to see picture]
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    As a man I would say I often respond to texts with replays without all the "prettying" it up, you asked his opinion and he gave it, he probably never thought to say whether you looked good in it as you didn't ask that question.

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Twilightgirl123 wrote:

    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    Just a quick question - is it possible he received the pic when it wasn't convenient for him to send a 'proper' reply. Could he have been in company? Working? Driving?

    He was at home and alone. I specifically asked if he was alone and able to talk and he said yes :)

    In that case perhaps my second post is more appropriate.

    I seriously think a quick chat will sort this xxx

    1466008751
    Twilightgirl123 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all the replies,

    I'm gonna try to talk to him tonight :)

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    TheGentleman [sign in to see picture]
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    As a man, I have to say that I'm guilty of missing the point when it comes to commenting on outfits. I will sometimes get asked for my opinion on a new dress that the Lady is wearing and I will talk about vintage style, pattern and cut. The Lady will very gently point out that it would be very welcome if I said, "You look gorgeous!"

    In a chap's favour: sometimes we assume you KNOW how sexy you look. We assume that you know we love you, lust after you, desire you... we're men, we're dense, we don't speak our feelings properly. The Lady usually gives me a gentle nudge and I get there in the end. Have a good chat with your other half and I'm sure he'll understand.

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    TheGentleman [sign in to see picture]
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    Just read the date on this... d'oh!

    Blushing at my naivety when it comes to forums...

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Twilightgirl123 wrote:

    Thanks for all the replies,

    I'm gonna try to talk to him tonight :)

    Good luck hun .

    Hope you get the answers you are after xx

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    TickleMeTots [sign in to see picture]
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    The way I have read this is that it isn't just the text that has bothered you as you mentioned that you can't remember the last time your partner complimented you.

    If that's the case, then I have been through this with my partner myself. I spoke to him in person about it after a while of it bothering me so that it wasn't just a one off kind of thing. When we spoke about it, he reminded me of recent times that he had in fact complimented me which I had just forgotten about as sometimes it's expected and not so much a surprise therefore isn't remembered as well as a compliment out of the blue would be.

    He also spoke about how a compliment isn't the only thing you should be looking for, but body language is very important as that can sometimes be more meaningful than a compliment which for some people is easy to just say.

    This could be the same thing for him as it was for me and my partner, just speak to him about it and you will have a better understanding like I did :)

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    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    I text my OH a photo of me (some imaginable poses etc) and sometimes my reply is just "💦" he's not one for showing his feelings and that one emoji means it's a good photo ;)

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    Wavey_Davey [sign in to see picture]
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    The way i would have read that text was 'Is this outfit ok for this club' to which I would also have said yes its fine. If my OH asked how do i look in this outfit, now thats another question with a very different answer (IE You look gorgeous get here now!!!). Similarly if the question is taken as do i look alright to go out like this without you he may be wanting to say' you look too damn hot and i am insecure about you going out like that so would rather you didnt'. Obviously he cant say this so all he can say is 'Its fine'.

    Just my observation...

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    loganlogan [sign in to see picture]
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    I think that some guys don't always think about compliments.it might be something that they have never done for whatever reason (confidence in saying it,they don't know how best to,or they have never been in a position to do it).
    I used to compliment my girlfriend but she was completely the opposite,because of her own confidence issues she found receiving them awkward.
    It's definitely something can be a little tricky.
    As one last note-you always tell a lady how pretty she is

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    dmj [sign in to see picture]
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    As others have said hers, be wary of what comes across in text on a phone. Me and my other half have had too many misunderstandings to mention over text etc. Best of discussing it face to face and you'll probably find it's nowhere near as bad as you're imagining...

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