• No enjoyment in sex.

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    fifi3 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm going to be blunt about this.

    I can orgasm during self maturation with clitoral stimulation and I can built with self penetrative ( with a toy). But with a sexual partner, it's completely different.

    I feel the need for sex and I love the thought of doing it, but in the actual act of sex with a partner..... I feel nothing.
    I don't get any build and I have never come during sex at all.

    I feel very dissapointed with myself because of it.

    Does anyone else have this problem?
    Is there something I'm not doing?
    Or am i just one of a kind (😅)?

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    MondaySixteenth [sign in to see picture]
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    fifi3 wrote:

    I'm going to be blunt about this.

    I can orgasm during self maturation with clitoral stimulation and I can built with self penetrative ( with a toy). But with a sexual partner, it's completely different.

    I feel the need for sex and I love the thought of doing it, but in the actual act of sex with a partner..... I feel nothing.
    I don't get any build and I have never come during sex at all.

    I feel very dissapointed with myself because of it.

    Does anyone else have this problem?
    Is there something I'm not doing?
    Or am i just one of a kind (😅)?

    Hi Fifi,

    Sorry to hear that you're having a sexual problem but you're definitely not alone! I also don't come from regular penetrative sex but love it anyway. And us two are not alone as "Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse." (source: psychologytoday).

    Women who come from intercourse usually have low clitoris' which are close to the vagina and so are getting stimulated or are having "g-spot" orgasms. This has a feel similar to a walnut and can be found if you insert a finger into your vagina and curve it round to the front. This is where g-spot vibrators, as sold here, are designed to stimulate. Not everyone gets an orgasm from there however and I instead just get the feeling that I need to pee which is not pleasurable at all :P

    I like to have sex whilst either me or my OH rubs my clit as I prefer to orgasm whilst he is inside me but do need the clitoral stimulation to get there. I usually ride for a bit, achieve orgasm and then he takes over as I've gone weak at the knees.

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey there fifi.

    Have you tried including clitoral stimulation by hand or with a toy while having intercourse with a partner to see if that gets you there?

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Many women can't orgasm through sex, so you're definitely not alone or 'not normal'. I can generally only come through penetration if he's hitting my g-spot, otherwise I need clitoral attention at the same time.

    If you can orgasm penetratively on your own with a toy, it's possible that you're hitting the spots that your partner isn't. Teach them how you like toys to be used, so they can use it on you and learn what your body does and doesn't like, then they can incorporate what they've learnt into sex. If that doesn't help, then why not incorporate clitoral stimulation into sex? whether it's by your own hand, your partners hand or a toy.

    1465410131
    fifi3 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys,
    You've given me something to think about.
    I'm currently not in a relationship at the moment. All my past sexual partners have never lasted more than a few f**ks once they've become aware that they really can't bring me to orgasm during penatrive sex 😧
    None of them were ever open to suggestions or doing something different.
    Hopefully I'll find a guy who will listen and doesn't think that he is God's gift and that any women will just melt on his d**k alone 😂
    Thanks again 😘

    Glad to know it's not just me!

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Ugh I hate the type of guy who thinks his d*ck is enough and doesn't care about his technique. You're honestly better off with your own hand in those scenarios! 😂

    When you find someone who's genuinely invested in you, they will put your pleasure before their own and be happy to try new things to improve your sex life. Hopefully you'll find a guy who's willing to take the time to get to know your body soon. I'm sure sex will feel much better for you then, even if orgasming is still out of the question :)

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    fifi3 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks NatandTom ☺
    I just hope such guys aren't a dying breed.
    I only ever seem to find ones who think with their d**k.
    Or they're either married or gay 😂
    I seem to have the worst luck with men.
    Think I should start a new thread asking for help on dating 😂😂

    1465412238
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 11 May 2013

    fifi3 wrote:

    I'm going to be blunt about this.

    I can orgasm during self maturation with clitoral stimulation and I can built with self penetrative ( with a toy). But with a sexual partner, it's completely different.

    I feel the need for sex and I love the thought of doing it, but in the actual act of sex with a partner..... I feel nothing.
    I don't get any build and I have never come during sex at all.

    I feel very dissapointed with myself because of it.

    Does anyone else have this problem?
    Is there something I'm not doing?
    Or am i just one of a kind (😅)?

    No your not alone I never could come during penertration. My ex was crap and selfish, my now hubby was much better, never minding me finish with hands. sadly no sex now.

    1465417241
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    I have the opposite problem......i cant stop cumming during any kind of stimulation be it nipples, clit, vaginal or anal penerative sex ! You may think that sounds great...and it is, most of the time but it gets exhausting !! Lol

    I would suggest firstly find yourself a nice guy who dosent think that sex is just about getting each other off. Its about foreplay, touching, caressijng, nibbling, stroking...generally 'enjoying' each other. Using a toy on your clit during penertative sex may well help but if you know how to get there on your own....you need a guy who will allow you to show him and who will listen to you xx

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    fifi3 wrote:

    Thanks NatandTom ☺
    I just hope such guys aren't a dying breed.
    I only ever seem to find ones who think with their d**k.
    Or they're either married or gay 😂
    I seem to have the worst luck with men.
    Think I should start a new thread asking for help on dating 😂😂

    We are out there, you just have to keep looking. I only seem to meet women who just what to jump my bones, and don't want to help a guy who struggles with ED; they only care that I'm good with my fingers and tongue.

    Only I don't know where to look any more, dating sites have been a bust for me; so I will just have to trust to luck and chance meetings. A few times I have been approached in supermarkets; then after they have walked away I'm saying to myself, hey was she just hitting on me, or is that just wishful thinking.

    Oh and I am bi- so that doesn't go down well either. Not that I think that should bother anyone but it does. We are no more likly to cheat than a straight guy, but the women I have met think we are, that, and they don't like the idea of you fancying guys; to say nothing of having been with a guy, at some point. But I'm sure there are sraight guys out there who know how to treat a woman, like a woman, and a human being.

    Good luck to us both.

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't orgasm during penetration thankfully my husband knows this so we mix it up so we are both fulfilled and happy.

    I've mentioned before on other threads my difficulties with sex so I wont bore you again if you've seen it. What I have learned over time though is I need an emotional connection. I spent a lot of time before I met my husband with loads of sexual partners, looking back I am actually ashamed of how I behaved, but I was never happy. I need to feel a close bond before I really enjoy sex otherwise its just kinda going through the motions.

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    sarametwally [sign in to see picture]
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    you need to increase the time of playing and licking with your partner, increase emotionals , he should kiss and lick you at every area at your body before sex to enhance your desire, also try 69 position at first before intercourse, last advise dont do sex befor you become so wet and horny

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Here are my two cents:

    1. lots of foreplay prior to penetrative sex. I typically have one orgasm with my partner prior to penetration via manual stimulation or oral sex.

    2. a vareity of positions with sex can help, I personally favor girl on top so I can control the penetration and achieve a stronger orgasm,

    3, you can use toys with your partner such as a vibrating cock ring to enhance intercourse.

    Your are not alone!

    1465691111
    pandashavesex [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 9 Jul 2014

    Same problem here, my own fingers or a toy work (still some difficulty though, fingers takes 40mins at least of a helluva lot of concentration and its hard to find a toy that gets the job done all the way) but during sex? nothing. Desire it, yes, enjoy the thought of it, yes! but actuality is no, nothing. Also totally hopeless with dating so you're not alone in that either haha!

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