• Sex with someone new

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    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
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    I had a bit of a search around and couldn't really find a suitable thread, but I'm hoping people will share their experiences on this! Maybe this is a few too many questions, but I'm sure you'll get the idea of what I'm wondering about and obviously there's no pressure to answer all of them :)

    Do you feel nervous when you first have sex with someone new, and does this inhibit your enjoyment of it? If so, when do you find that this subsides? Do you expect that you won't be able to please a new partner/they won't be able to please you until later on when you have more experience of being with each other? Do you ever fake when you don't know someone well?

    I don't really have much experience to draw upon and I think it's easy to have unrealistic expectations, or feel somehow abnormal, so it would be super nice to hear what other people think. x

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    Kurosaki-Kun [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been with the same partner for 6 years now, but before that when I was single, I'm not afraid to say that I had a terrible time enjoying 'first times'. I would constantly be thinking 'what if.....' as we were getting intimate and it would take over the pleasure and cause me all sorts of problems. Foreplay always seemed fine when we were playing with each other, but as soon as the focus was just of me I would panic and the mojo would just seem to go!

    It took me until I was 100% comfortable with a new partner before I could relax and enjoy sex with them. I think it's only natural you would have nerves and think of you are turning them on, they find you attractive naked, are you 'big' enough? When I think back it seems silly but when you start thinking you can't seem to switch it off!

    If you're experiencing the same be assured it does go away and you will enjoy it, probably lots and lots!

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    hardfast [sign in to see picture]
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    I think you've got it spot on to be honest.

    It takes time to get to know each other which is why pleasuring a long term partner / being pleasured by a long term partner seems so much easier (and often better).

    It's normal to be conscious of your body, what you're doing and what they're doing the first time.

    Keep the lights off the first few times and you'll be fine.

    I wouldn't fake it, just try and enjoy it.
    I always find that men cum but it takes them a lot of practice to get me to, it's worth the wait.

    Enjoy x

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    Supascoopa [sign in to see picture]
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    I am extremely nervous, due to premature ejaculation..!!

    1465014642
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it's exciting ,having sex for the first time with someone new.As a rule I don't have sex with anyone until the third or fourth date. That gives me chance to make sure everything is right. The first time you undress each other ,it's like unwrapping a Christmas present.

    So my advice is just relax and enjoy the first time together .Don't worry about little imperfections, as rarely anyone is totally happy with their own body.

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    hardfast [sign in to see picture]
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    Look prem ejaculation sometimes happens, it's nice to know I have the power to blow out all control.
    In no time just start again and it's fine, don't worry!

    1465020161
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    I dont have much experiance either, only been with a couple.

    I get super excited and nervous, I made oh wait ages lol, he said his hands were getting saw 😂 I used to wind him right up lol but he knew I wasnt going to put out after the third date we we're lay in bed cuddling and he tried his luck, I said I'm not sure bout your past partners but thsts not how I operate. You'll wait until I'm certain you want me, not just sex. I turned my back and he was making it clear he was ready and willing, shame I wasn't 😂 He definantly proved himself though and very well. I knew he was a keeper.

    I was so scared and nervous as I hadn't had much experience. But it was mind-blowing, The nerves subsided pretty instantly as it felt so natural.

    Faked it - more times than I care to remember. I'd never had an orgasm before oh so used to take it all the time with the ex 😂😂

    Hope that helps hunni 💟xx

    1465023843
    JohnA [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    I think it's exciting ,having sex for the first time with someone new.As a rule I don't have sex with anyone until the third or fourth date. That gives me chance to make sure everything is right. The first time you undress each other ,it's like unwrapping a Christmas present.

    So my advice is just relax and enjoy the first time together .Don't worry about little imperfections, as rarely anyone is totally happy with their own body.

    I certainly have felt that 'unwrappring a Christmas present' feeling when undressing with a new partner! Best thing is to remember that both of you are likely to be nervous, even if the guy is desperate not to show it. I know I always am, and the more I want to be with the girl, the worse it is! But for me nothing beats that thrill of entering her for the first time. So wish you all the best, Skitty x

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    VioletWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    I remember the first time with my current partner and it just went on and on and on and on and on and...you get the gist. It passed the point of being enjoyable and I was laid there just taking it. He was really inexperienced and god it was awful. But he was a nice guy so I stuck with him and now 7yrs later sex is great (when we get chance!). I've never been one to fake it, just think it does more harm than good. Sod his ego, would much rather say we didn't get there this time but maybe in future we could try x, y or z.
    I don't think I've ever been nervous with a new person, but given that it's been such a long time since I had a first - I was a more confident person back then!

    1465034876
    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
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    It can take time to be comfortable with a new partner, guess it depends on past experiences and if it has given the person lack of confidence from previous relationships

    It can take a little to build up that trust again and feel comfortable being naked in front of someone .

    It just takes more time but practise makes perfect as they say

    1465045402
    Skitty [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all the thoughts and advice everyone :) It's good to know that it's not just me that feels these things, and it's been so helpful to hear your experiences.

    In my case, I always feel almost as though I'm being rude or insulting if I can't orgasm from what the other person is doing, and like there's no way to politely say what I like or don't like, even if it hurts. I think I'm in the habit of thinking that orgasm (real or fake) is really the only way to end any sort of sex without hurting the other person's feelings, because I can't imagine any way of ending it that doesn't seem negative or weird otherwise. To add to the confusion and worry, because I know I do this I worry that the other person maybe does too, and so I never trust that I'm pleasing them at all either. So if anyone has any bright ideas on this I'd love to hear :P

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    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
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    Skitty wrote:

    Thanks for all the thoughts and advice everyone :) It's good to know that it's not just me that feels these things, and it's been so helpful to hear your experiences.

    In my case, I always feel almost as though I'm being rude or insulting if I can't orgasm from what the other person is doing, and like there's no way to politely say what I like or don't like, even if it hurts. I think I'm in the habit of thinking that orgasm (real or fake) is really the only way to end any sort of sex without hurting the other person's feelings, because I can't imagine any way of ending it that doesn't seem negative or weird otherwise. To add to the confusion and worry, because I know I do this I worry that the other person maybe does too, and so I never trust that I'm pleasing them at all either. So if anyone has any bright ideas on this I'd love to hear :P

    I find its nce to start with a bubble bath together with roamntic candles by side of bath and maybe a glasss of wine, lots of foreplay and kissing . This helps you both relax before heading to the bedroom

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    sarametwally [sign in to see picture]
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    its normal

    1465050153
    MissNoir [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah I agree with everyone else, it's exciting but nerve racking aswell. I waited 2 years to have sex with the guy I see just now, he turned me down initially and we stayed friends then 2 years later I made a move and it worked out very well. I was so nervous as I'd waited for what seemed lke ages, we were in bed watching a film and started carrying on, one thing led to anotehr and i kissed him which he wasn't expecting. That night I woke up, nudged him & we had sex, it was one of the most exciting and happiest times of my life so far, because we knew each other very well, because we openly discussed what we liked about sex before actually doing it and we'd only slept with one person each prior, it was easy going. Since then sex has just gotten better, he laughs at me because he feels he has tamed me haha

    It's down to personal feelings and preference though, communication is important, make each other feel comfortable, expect it not to be perfect, laugh anything off but have fun and enjoy the new experience with the person ^_^ x

    1465204433
    Gem276 [sign in to see picture]
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    Skitty wrote:

    Thanks for all the thoughts and advice everyone :) It's good to know that it's not just me that feels these things, and it's been so helpful to hear your experiences.

    In my case, I always feel almost as though I'm being rude or insulting if I can't orgasm from what the other person is doing, and like there's no way to politely say what I like or don't like, even if it hurts. I think I'm in the habit of thinking that orgasm (real or fake) is really the only way to end any sort of sex without hurting the other person's feelings, because I can't imagine any way of ending it that doesn't seem negative or weird otherwise. To add to the confusion and worry, because I know I do this I worry that the other person maybe does too, and so I never trust that I'm pleasing them at all either. So if anyone has any bright ideas on this I'd love to hear :P

    I was with my ex husband for a long time and so he knew how to please me and that was then hard to teach a new partner as it can be really difficult to make me cum, for me I have to really let them in my head and heart in order to be able to more easily achieve an orgasm. I had a boyfriend between my ex husband and my current partner and I found I couldn't even cum masturbating with my rabbit but everything about that relationship was quite pressured, I never had a single orgasm in front of him the whole two months we were together.

    Despite insecurities about having a Mummy Tummy I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin and don't have a problem being naked from the beginning and I've never been a lights out kinda girl. I have a really good relationship with my partner and I found it easy to tell him what I liked in bed but showing him how much trickier. With time and plenty of practice he has definitely learned and we have what I would say is the best sex of my life, to me he is a sexual fantasy come true!

    As a woman in my thirties I think I am more confident and I have grown a lot as a person since my marriage ended, I would say that I know what I want and with my man I know how to achieve this as does he. I have never faked it and I think while you are learning about each other's bodies it's really important to talk about things and know that sometimes, it just doesn't happen and that's okay. Let's face it you can definitely have great sex and not orgasm, for me then a lot of my orgasm is about freeing my mind which is why dirty talk works really well as it distracts my mind as well as being filthy!

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    Naughty Miss K [sign in to see picture]
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    I get so nervous with a new person, but as we work out how sex for us works, and get to know what each other likes better, the nerves go away :)

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