• Can't get any 'me time' 😯

    1464487047
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Unfortunately because me and oh are together pretty much 24/7 I just don't get any alone time- if you catch my drift!
    He has said to me that he doesn't mind but because we live in a wee bungalow he'd be in like a bill to a China shop im sure.
    Has anybody got any suggestions how I can explore my body alone without interruptions? I'd be most grateful
    Thanks in advance 💟xx

    1464493077
    in2it [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Slinky,
    I'm rather new to the forums.
    It can be extremely difficult getting some ' alone ' time,either just to relax by yourself or for any other reason. I also think it's healthy in a relationship to have some time purely on your own, to do whatever you want.
    Unless your oh has any hobbies that you can encourage him to follow that takes him out of the house or maybe a regular time out seeing friends on his own, it is pretty difficult.
    Depending on both your sleeping patterns, although not ideal, maybe if the urge arises, time alone elsewhere in your home while he's fast asleep at night.
    I'm sure however that you will get plenty of good suggestions / ideas.
    Hope you get to find a solution.

    1464494709
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Typo alert in ma last post! Was supposed to read "oh said he's more than happy for me to have alone time, but because we live in a wee bungalow he'd be in like a bull in a China shop"!
    It's not that I don't want him involved, he's involved plenty of the time but I don't seem to be getting the time to discover my own body, preferences and what not.
    We have a very active sex-life as it is, I'd just like time to play with my toys alone once in awhile.
    Because neither of us work and have "issues" there's barely a minute I'm home alone for play-time 😯
    I just want to put it out there I'm not complaining about oh I'm any which way, we have a fabulas life together from sexual happiness to everyday-life. The only issues having no alone-time (play-time.)
    Anyway any of you lovely forum members have any advise or ideas i would really appreciate it 💟xx

    1464497360
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry i crossed posted with you on my second post.

    Hi in2it, love your username 😊
    incase I've not welcomed you before - welcome to the forums 😃
    That's so true, getting alone times near impossible! As we all need that but of alone time whether it's to relax, pamper yourself, or to have play-time. The first two are no problems as we can be in separate rooms where neither of us invade eachother personal space. It's the latter being the problem as we're both insomniacs so are usually up all hours at the same time.
    I'd love to encourage him to get out for a lads night or to enjoy his hobbies. The problem is we're both really social anxiety ridden, so when either of us leave the house 80-90% of the time it's together and it's only as far as up the street. Neither of us leave the village we live in due to the severity of the anxiety and we don't have a car either making it impossible unfortunately 😣
    Naturally there are occasions where he is sleeping and I'm awake so that would be the best time to get "me time". I'll have to work on that. Right now we're both in the bedroom playing x-box, I don't think there's any chance of him sleeping anytime soon, as I'm really in the mood tonight. Lol!
    Thank you so much for the advice I really appreciate it. I'll bear in mind to get on-it when oh is doing asleep. There's the other thing he is such a light sleeper, creeping out of the room will be a laugh 😂
    Thanks again & look fotward to seeing you around the forums in2it 💟xx

    1464499658
    in2it [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi again Slinky,
    Thanks for the welcome. ☺
    As I said, I'm pretty new to the forums, so hopefully will eventually get to know people better.
    I gathered there must have been a reason why, but didn't obviously know your circumstances.
    Firstly, sorry to hear that you both suffer your anxieties. I have a friend with similar anxieties and know how hard it can be.But glad to hear you both have each other.
    I like the idea that you both have rooms where you can be alone and respect each others privacy.
    Obviously your oh is happy for you to have your own ' personal time.
    Maybe another option could be for you to specify a set time where you get to ' play ' alone, with your oh being allowed to join you after that time. If he knows he can join you later, it might make him less likely to do the bull in a China shop. Or possibly if he liked the idea,you could both play alone separately, then carry on together.
    Not a good sleeper myself either, so I know what that is like.
    I'm sure you will get ideas from the other great people on here though.
    Good luck.😃x

    1464502405
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi in2it, my pleasure in the welcome. Hopefully we will be seeing you regularly on the forums 😀
    If you're on frequently you'll soon get to know everyone and the folk here are so lovely 😀
    I should of been more clear in my first post as to the reasons why, it can be hard to say out loud at times. It's like "me and oh are crackers we barely leave the house alone and we never sleep either lol.
    Aww, thanks for the sympathy on our anxieties, although there's far worse of folk out there. And as you say - at least we have eachother, and thankfully we are a solid team. I'm really sorry to hear your friend also suffers anxieties;, it's so hard to over come unlike many think.
    Yeah we sure do, we're only in a a bed bungalow and one of the bedrooms is for when my step-daughter is here / gym lol. But our bedroom has plenty of amenities in it for either of us to enjoy alone time in there or the living room - with equal, well more amenities to enjoy. Everyone needs alone time at some point.
    I think that's a really good idea specify a particular time 2 or e days a week where I get at least half an hour to explore etc. Then when the times up I'll call him in and he won't be like a bull in a China shop. Lol 😉
    I'll chat to him about it tomorrow and see how he feels about it. I'm more than sure he'll be sound. He really is a good guy. I'll let you know how it goes.
    It's awful not sleeping, you just can't function right without it. Take today, it's going to be beautiful but I'll be zombified 😣
    Thanks again, yeah hopefully others will chime in too ☝💟xx

    1464505314
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Morning slinky, could you not slink off for a bath (see what I did there, ha! 😂), and take a book? Tell OH you're going to have a long soak. If he thinks you're reading he's less likely to be crashing around the house or bursting in on you?

    1464505673
    in2it [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi again Slinky,
    I can totally understand regarding your privacy about anxieties.I think most people would be the same, until you got to know them better.So thankyou for sharing it openly.
    And no,you're not crackers.There are many forms unfortunately of mental illnesses / conditions, none of which should be taken lightly or mocked.I've known a few personally that have suffered various problems and no one is immune and unless you know either first hand or someone that suffers with it,it is difficult for others to fully appreciate how hard it is and to try to either overcome it or manage with it.
    Your oh sounds a good, caring person so I'm sure you will both work something out and get lots of other ideas and thoughts from others on here.
    Enjoy your day and I'll keep up with the other posts on here.
    Take care. ☺x

    1464510435
    missyO [sign in to see picture]
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    I was going to suggest the same as sex squid! Perfect for a bit of 'me time' x

    1464511264
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Sex Squid wrote:

    Morning slinky, could you not slink off for a bath (see what I did there, ha! 😂), and take a book? Tell OH you're going to have a long soak. If he thinks you're reading he's less likely to be crashing around the house or bursting in on you?

    &1

    1464511589
    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    I also live quite small with my OH and since I have a much higher sex drive, it's important for me to get some "me time", otherwise I would climb on the walls :)

    We have a lock on our bedroom door, so I just simply lock myself in there and then my OH gets what I'm up to if he notices. It works fine for me since I don't have a bathtub, so no idea to take some alone time in the bathroom :)

    I also try to get some alone time when my OH is away at work and I don't have school. That way I'm sure not to be disturbed.

    Since your OH has agreed to you having some alone time, then you could just tell him when you want to have your "me time" so he wont walk in on you? :) the advice about trying when he sleeps is good, and if you have a bath tub that would also be a good suggestion!

    1464518842
    myghost [sign in to see picture]
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    I think sex squid has it spot on, at some point you are going to have to spend a fair bit of time in the bathroom to bath/shower or hair wash. If you have a bath you can use the time it's filling up to have some personal time and continue it while youj soak or use the time after when you'd dry and clean up to do what you have to

    I live with others so being locked away in the bathroom is the only place I can have undisturbed time to myself

    1464523307
    Twilightgirl123 [sign in to see picture]
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    Whenever I want me time I just tell my partner that I want to have some alone time for a while and ask him to do his own thing. He used to always get involved if he knew I was at it and it become too much to always have him bursting into the room and getting involved. We have a great sex life and I've told him I love being with him but sometimes I need time to myself and he respects that.

    As has been suggested a bath is a great idea. He knows that unless he is directly invited to join me that he should leave me be. The same goes for him if he wants alone time :)

    1464524671
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks so much lads and lasses, your ad vice has been brilliant. @sex squid - love what you did there "slink off to the bathroom" 😂😂 i guess I need to get a lock for the bathroom then asap! Lol, oh has no problem walking in on me for whatever reason. But yeah a lock on the bathroom would be great, shame theres no plug in there for my mains-powered submersible wand! I've got loads of other toys that'll be suitable though so shouldn't be an issue choosing what to take.
    Its got me thinking though, im in need of a suction cup dildo though as that'd be perfect for the shower, I'll grab the smallest one I can find when I've got the pennies for that and the Tracey Cox rabbit.
    I do have a tub but unortunatly never use it, I've got an obsession with cleanliness. Infact its a bit of a problem. I wash myself so many times throughout the day as i dispise feeling dirty, and also it isn't for me to lye in my dirty water (I know I'm wired right? ) even though I shower at least every other day, mostly twice daily but sometimes I can't be bothered, that happens to everyone right?
    Anyway i will speak to oh, youre right hes very reasonable and will understand so long as hes not half cocked 😂 which I wouldn't leave him that way really!
    I'll be able to spend ages in the bathroom, it's going to be pure bliss 😀
    In2it - thanks for your kind words. I believe we should be able to express our mental illnesses without society looking down on us as if there's something wrong with us. My bio states "mental illness needs to be taken more seriously" or something along those lines. Also, it's a pleasure for sharing I think we should all be able to share our mental health illnesses, and we can all help eachother 😊
    There is times I feel crackers, but what is normal? I think society has built up this image of how we "should be perfect". In reality it doesn't work that way, more people than not have some form of mental illness.
    Be sure to check in more, this is the most friendly forum in the land 👍
    Thanks again all, the bathrooms definantly the way forward. Hope you all have a lovely day 💟xx

    1464524939
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    It's not weird what you say about baths and cleanliness slinky. Not to the same extent but I feel the same. I often shower, and once clean, put the plug in and lie back as the bath fills. Bathing when you're already clean is amazing :)

    I believe it's an Eastern (Japanese?) thing about baths involving lying in your own grime, so shower first.

    Easy enough to sneak a little toy into the bathroom concealed in your bath towel 😉

    1464525598
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Slinky,

    Sorry I can't help with the "me time" thing, I have nothing but. How ever I have experience of social anxiety, and getting over it, so we can chat sometime, about that if you like.

    You seem to be getting some good advice though, and this is something I will put on file for my future reference; for when there is someone in my life. As I have been alone for so long I don't think I would have considerd it for her, as right now I wish I had someone with me 24/7, the concept of alone time is to all intents, alien to me, now.

    But it's there in my past, and would have soon picked up on it, sooner rather than later, as I sense emotions, in peoples voices very much, but now I'm prepared.

    1464527749
    AnalLover88 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya,

    I feel your pain, I have a very high sex drive and I'm with someone that has no sex drive at all. We both work, live together and have a 9 month old baby to look after. I very rarely get anytime alone. Once every couple of weeks, I ask the OH to go bed early with little one so I can spend some time sorting my hormones out. This is okay but I'm very busy with work and everything so it's not as enjoyable as it should be because I feel so tired.
    I also try to encourage the OH to go out all night with her friends, this is difficult enough trying to get her to go out but we also have to book a baby sitter for the night. This Friday just gone, I paid for an hotel for the OH and her friend so she would go out but also have somewhere to stay after. I also said I would decorate all of baby's room for when she got back. I did all this just to get some alone time. This happens probably once every 6 months but could with it at least once a month to be honest.
    It's so exhausting being with someone who has zero interest in sex, I haven't had sex for 4 weeks, when we do, it's very mediocre because she's not into it. We are currenty going through sexual therapy to try sort the issue, if it doesn't get sorted, we will have to go our seperate ways no matter how diffficult it is because I can't live without sex.

    1464540592
    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    I must of cross posted with you twilight girl;
    That's the exact same as me and oh, we have a fantastic sexlife but sometimes it's nice to have "me time". He didn't understand for aaages and was always asking "why didn't you involve me"! For awhile I felt so guilty I went without any "alone time", maybe once in two months I've had it dence, but I'm going to get back on the horse - so to speak!
    He's finally agreed not to take the huff or barge in so we will see how it goes. I'm planning a session tonight so will update later or tmoz

    Cheers sex squid - it's like I'm obsessed constantly washing my hands and face, I must do it like 10 times a day of not nore 🙈 i just can't stand feeling dirty. I will try the bathe after a shower to see if it helps I blooming hope so.
    I'm glad I'm not alone, but wouldn't wish it on anyone if you get me?
    Yeah too right a few toys with my clothes, towels and whatever else I grab 😉💟xx

    A4E (I much prefer the abriviation of your name. It saddens me writing it in full. But I know I'm a year or so we'll laugh about it 😊 Please don't apolsgise for not being able to offer help on the 've time' question. I've got lots of great advice anyhow and even if I had none there's nought to apolsgise for 😙
    Thank you so much for the offer of support, its very kind of you and shows what a lovely, genuinly nice lad uou are 😆 anyway thank you 4 offering support on the social anxiety issue (I have many mental health problems, I'll start a thread and we can talk there.) 😊
    There we go that's progress you now see meeting someone in the future whereas before you felt destined to be alone forever 😕 that will definantly not be the case, I know someone like you will find the happines and love that you so deserve. So yes put it on your file for when that moment arrises.
    I'm so sorry you don't have that special someone right now, but he patient and confident it will come in time and is forum members who care deeply for you will be with you every step of the way ☺
    You'll get there lovely I know it. Ok so it's not at this precise moment but it will come I know it, just believe in yourself 💟xx

    Anallover - I'm sad to hear your story. Have you ever tried discussing your kinks? Rather than it being an everyday chore that never changed.
    It must be especially difficult with children and needing babysitters and so forth. I think it's a fantastic step going to therapy and hope you get the help you both need.
    I really do think it'd be wise discussing your kinks and may be even doing one of those sex surveys where the answers only are shown to your oh when you both rock a turn on/kink.
    All the best and hope you get your sexlife back on track 💟xx

    1464541172
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    because I'm home full time and my OH works shifts we can sometimes be like this.
    we just tend to tell each other honestly that we are having a wank and need time alone! it's blunt but it works for me and him lol

    1464541851
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    AnalLover88 wrote:

    Hiya,

    I feel your pain, I have a very high sex drive and I'm with someone that has no sex drive at all. We both work, live together and have a 9 month old baby to look after. I very rarely get anytime alone. Once every couple of weeks, I ask the OH to go bed early with little one so I can spend some time sorting my hormones out. This is okay but I'm very busy with work and everything so it's not as enjoyable as it should be because I feel so tired.
    I also try to encourage the OH to go out all night with her friends, this is difficult enough trying to get her to go out but we also have to book a baby sitter for the night. This Friday just gone, I paid for an hotel for the OH and her friend so she would go out but also have somewhere to stay after. I also said I would decorate all of baby's room for when she got back. I did all this just to get some alone time. This happens probably once every 6 months but could with it at least once a month to be honest.
    It's so exhausting being with someone who has zero interest in sex, I haven't had sex for 4 weeks, when we do, it's very mediocre because she's not into it. We are currenty going through sexual therapy to try sort the issue, if it doesn't get sorted, we will have to go our seperate ways no matter how diffficult it is because I can't live without sex.

    I'm married now to someone through health reasons sex doesn't exist any more, it's hard mentally sometimes, but my ex was a sex pest every day and crap as well. I know who I'd rather live with, Hubby did take me for granted but we had words a couple of years ago, now I'm shown gratitude. Ok not sexual but thanks and cuddles. Also treats and I buy my silk underwear and corsets for me.

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