• Help - Do i confront my lying partner

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    LittleMissLonely [sign in to see picture]
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    UPDATE please ?

    I'd just ask , you wasn't snooping .

    No disrespect intended but this reminds me when someone posts something on facebook Gets a response of everyone then dosent tell anyone what's happened !! I know lots of us have more to do than be on here but you did ask for opinions advice etc so presumably are an active member x 😄😄

    1464102011
    Red Lightning [sign in to see picture]
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    As everyone has said, talk face to face, but 2 months isn't very long for a relationship. Does she consider it a serious relationship? Do you know her ex? Are you able to trust them? If she's lying to you, it might be because she's worried about what you will think.

    We all say it's bad to lie to your partner and you should always tell the truth, but sometimes you can be completely innocent, but caught in a guilty looking situation and lying is an easy way out. She may have just been trying to avoid a confrontation, becasue it's really easy to get the wrong end of the stick.

    1464102550
    MysticalMayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    Is the ex the father? Maybe he was having the daughter too and they had pizza as a treat? Maybe the pizza order was made but cookies on the phone/computer saved her email and it was just "there"? Maybe she owed him pizza? I wish someone would owe me pizza.

    Either way, you need to talk about it. Be honest, tell her what you saw and just ask her what it was there for. Could it have been an email from a while ago and you just didn't see the date it was sent?

    100 options, and the only way to find out is speak to her.

    1464102847
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    LittleMissLonely wrote:

    UPDATE please ?

    I'd just ask , you wasn't snooping .

    No disrespect intended but this reminds me when someone posts something on facebook Gets a response of everyone then dosent tell anyone what's happened !! I know lots of us have more to do than be on here but you did ask for opinions advice etc so presumably are an active member x 😄😄

    Many people have come on here for help and get it; but often they are doing it behind a partners back, and don't want to cause further upset, by having the partner find out. Posting is a risk yes, but posting a reply bumps a thread back to the front of the list, so makes it visable a first look again. As well as the fact of comming back and dishing the dirt so to speak.

    Please respect other peoples right to as much privacy as they are able to take in this situation.

    You made need it yourself one day!!! This is not a game it's real peoples lives and relationships.

    1464123680
    Delboy1991 [sign in to see picture]
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    LittleMissLonely wrote:

    UPDATE please ?

    I'd just ask , you wasn't snooping .

    No disrespect intended but this reminds me when someone posts something on facebook Gets a response of everyone then dosent tell anyone what's happened !! I know lots of us have more to do than be on here but you did ask for opinions advice etc so presumably are an active member x 😄😄

    By the looks of it he hasnt been back on here yet. Maybe he will see it and let us know x
    1464356639
    Kentchris1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    Afternoon All,

    Thanks for your advice.

    I spoke to her in a calm way and she said she wasn't at her ex's and that he just used her log in details.

    I will see what happens and go from there.

    Thanks again

    1464357911
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Kentchris1980 wrote:

    Afternoon All,

    Thanks for your advice.

    I spoke to her in a calm way and she said she wasn't at her ex's and that he just used her log in details.

    I will see what happens and go from there.

    Thanks again

    Thats why I said don't go in with guns blazing and jump to conclusions . It is a rationale explanation . Whether your 100% happy with that , I don't know .

    You will have to try and mend that trust again between you. It will take time .

    1464359615
    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    Did she seem in anyway surprised or annoyed that her ex was ordering pizza using her log in and her account to pay for it?!

    If it was me and I was innocent I would be extremely annoyed that my ex had used my bank details and would on the phone to them immediately, in front of my current partner, demanding they stop.

    1464360385
    allin [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe she wanted you to see it, so that she could get it out in the open. She might have been expecting you to ask her straight away over the phone because she's not to sure about telling you face to face.

    1464360971
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    I would speak calmly to her about it. She's either very stupid or not lying if she actively asked you to log into her email knowing it would catch her out.

    Just Eat more often than not saves your log in details on whatever device you use it on so it is entirely possible her ex still had the log in details and just helped himself to a free pizza. She may not have been there at all, and if she was she may not have had any bad intentions in going to see him; birthday parties don't last all day, she could have popped over for an innocent visit before/after and possibly even with her daughter. Is the ex related to the daughter, even in a step parental role? The child may still enjoy seeing the guy. There's no rule saying you can't go for pizza with an ex without it making you a cheat or a liar in any case, assuming it's fair to class her a liar at all at this point as all she said was that she was going to a party, she didn't say 'Im not going to my ex's house for pizza'. You don't know what happened and that email proves nothing other than a pizza was sent to that address, so it would be wise to move forward with tact unless you want her to get defensive.

    Maybe it would be better to take a concerned stance, say you found the email and since she had said she'd be at a birthday party, you are worried someone has used her just eat account without her permission? You can then gauge her reaction. Or of course be honest and tell her you've seen this email and it's made you insecure, without accusing her of lying before she has a chance to explain. Face to face would be best, at least try calling her if you can't wait that long as if she is lying, she'll be put on the spot and you'll know she's lying. Whereas if it's nothing to worry about, she'll be able to reassure you and you'll be able to see/hear she's being genuine.

    ^^ this. You could have completely the wrong end of the stick here. Best thing to do is just chat to her. If she asked you to check her emails, you haven't broken any trust by logging in and seeing the email. I would just chat openly face to face. You'll soon know if she's lying. 

    I hope you can resolve this! 

    1464361035
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Kentchris1980 wrote:

    Afternoon All,

    Thanks for your advice.

    I spoke to her in a calm way and she said she wasn't at her ex's and that he just used her log in details.

    I will see what happens and go from there.

    Thanks again

    Just saw this: Well done for confronting her - I suspected that may have been the case. Good luck with everything! 

    1464361422
    Lovethekink [sign in to see picture]
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    Just one to add.. just eat doesnt save bank details as you can pay cash on delivery for all orders. So more than likely completely innocent and just links to her email like she said to OP

    1464362853
    Throbinhood [sign in to see picture]
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    buy a pizza outfit and turn up with a pizza at the ex house lol :)

    maybe she hasnt quite got over the ex just yet

    In all seriousness I would comfront her and get it out in the open.

    Only then can you build up trust

    1464363025
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Throbinhood wrote:

    buy a pizza outfit and turn up with a pizza at the ex house lol :)

    maybe she hasnt quite got over the ex just yet

    In all seriousness I would comfront her and get it out in the open.

    Only then can you build up trust

    I think its all sorted.now.

    The only thing that now needs to be built up is the trust. Like I said previously this will take time .

    1464381997
    Kentchris1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    well here is another update.

    not seeing her till sunday so i've had a couple of beers and thouhgt lets log into her emails and bang another order tonight for chinese going to her ex's address using her name and her mobile number as a contact number. also says its been paid by card.

    plus she doesnt have her daughter as with her nan this wkend.

    so am i being mugged off

    the ex is a coke adddict and thats why she left and i was the close friend that helped her through all the troubles and now thinking they r now sititng there eating there chinese laughing at me and saying what a mug

    1464384054
    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    Kentchris1980 wrote:

    well here is another update.

    not seeing her till sunday so i've had a couple of beers and thouhgt lets log into her emails and bang another order tonight for chinese going to her ex's address using her name and her mobile number as a contact number. also says its been paid by card.

    plus she doesnt have her daughter as with her nan this wkend.

    so am i being mugged off

    the ex is a coke adddict and thats why she left and i was the close friend that helped her through all the troubles and now thinking they r now sititng there eating there chinese laughing at me and saying what a mug

    Mate, you're only a few months into this relationship so easy enough to get out. If you have to start questioning loyalties and trust then things are on a slippery slope in my opinion.

    1464384227
    honeybun91 [sign in to see picture]
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    1. After last time why wouldn't she delete her bank details off the takeaway website ? What sane person would want to be paying for their Exs food...

    2. Amazing how the food orders are the times when your not with her

    3. Confront her about it if you don't trust her

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