• Help, How do I tell my partner that his foreskin is too tight?!

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    Alpha Dawson [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello, I've been with my partner for a few months now, and one thing that really concerns me if his foreskin. I've never been with a man who has such a tight foreskin and it's really concerning me due to the fact that sometimes when we have sex it will tear! and when it tears and begins to heal, it forms a scabby crust around the top. Now I know some men have really tight foreskins, but his is tight. His foreskin is so tight it is always only half a centimeter away from his [urethra*]. I confided in my mother and my friend about it, both are worried and think he should go see a doctor, and frankly I think the same.

    However that being said although me and my partner fell deeply for each other and have a great relationship, I need advise on how to broach the subject with him, in a way that doesn't make me sound like im disgusted with it (I'm not, I'm just very bad with wording). So if any of you have any advice on how to talk to him about it, or even advice on how to deal with it without having to go to a doctor, please let me know!

    thanks!

    [*edit by mod]

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    mamz [sign in to see picture]
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    Hy abd welcome to the forum.

    Try to emphasis on how you are worried about him abd how it can have an impact on his pleasure. Say that you don't want him tu feel pain during sex and that it looks pretty painful to you.
    I know sone people who had the same problem and they sretched. I don't have many details about it like how to do it or how long it takes but i'm pretty sure this can be overcomed without medical intervention.

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    Mamz is right. Approach him, like you have here, with concern about his discomfort. I totally get what you mean when you say you're bad with wording, I'm the same, I say something and I don't realise how wrong someone can take it.

    Take time when its just you and him and take a few deep breaths and just say how you have noticed it looks painful and ask if it is. He might be experiencing pain but too embarrassed to see the Dr. Its common to be worried about seeing someone about an intimate area.

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    Sxleksaker [sign in to see picture]
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    He shouldn't feel embaressed for showing his man bits to a doctor. They look at penises and vaginas all day so they don't think it's anything special at all. If you feel worried, it might be a good idea to get him checked out since it's hard for us to visualize how great the problem is.

    When you are having sex, remember to use lots of lube on his penis since it may make the foreskin glide over the tip a bit easier. Hopefully it will make the tearing less extensive.

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    McAndrew [sign in to see picture]
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    I know somebody who had exactly this problem and waited until he was in his mid 30s before getting it sorted out.

    He eventually worked up the courage and got circumcised. It has been an enormous weight off his shoulders and now he wishes it had been done years ago.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Is it too tight or is it doubled over making it too tight? If its doubled over and he won't go to the GP which should be the first port of call then he will have to sort it with lube to get it back to normal . This has happened to me a couple of times usually after sex .

    For abbrasions for which rarely occur I use Savlon and then refrain from sex until its fully healed.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Every time it tears, scar tissue will form making it less elastic, so it will split even more, Sometimes using a moisturiser they can be slowly stretched, but if he has already experienced spliting.

    When I had mine done for this reason they removed it all, I belive these days they just put a split down the side big enough to alow the forskin to draw back naturally.

    If you google "phimosis deffinition", there is help on stretching and other treatments.

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    Alpha Dawson [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you so much guys, I'm seeing him on saturday and I will talk to him! I don't think it doubled over, just too tight. Thanks again for all of your advice and once i've spoken to him I'll see if he wants to research possible treatments :) 

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    honeybun91 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would definitely talk to him about it too and just say you are concerned for him/ pain it may cause him. A specialist will be able to say if any treatment is needed!

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    slinky binky [sign in to see picture]
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    Interesting , now forgive my way of writing I'm not the best writer but I'll share out story.
    When I got jiggy with oh I noticed he had a problem with his foreskin, it was like stretched to high and restricting movement, sex could be painful for him (does your oh experience pain during sex?) Anyway we weny on like this for months until one day in the thaws of passion I felt and heard something - we both describe it as like an elastic band snapping, he was a bloody mess it was bleeding so badly, I've never felt so concerned in my life but oh being his 'macho self' refused to get medical help. Fortunately the snapping released his foreskin and it now moves with ease. I've heard other people talk about the same issue on here too. However if your ohs keeps going back to the original 'tight'state id not hessitate in taking him to the drs as I'm sure it'll be causing him pain and taking away from the pleasure. It's obviously concerning you aswell you really need to have a chat maybe over coffee or a few beers. Try not to freak out too much it's very simular to ohs and other folks problems I've heard of 💟xx

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    NiceGuyNorthEast [sign in to see picture]
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    slinky binky wrote:

    Interesting , now forgive my way of writing I'm not the best writer but I'll share out story.
    When I got jiggy with oh I noticed he had a problem with his foreskin, it was like stretched to high and restricting movement, sex could be painful for him (does your oh experience pain during sex?) Anyway we weny on like this for months until one day in the thaws of passion I felt and heard something - we both describe it as like an elastic band snapping, he was a bloody mess it was bleeding so badly, I've never felt so concerned in my life but oh being his 'macho self' refused to get medical help. Fortunately the snapping released his foreskin and it now moves with ease. I've heard other people talk about the same issue on here too. However if your ohs keeps going back to the original 'tight'state id not hessitate in taking him to the drs as I'm sure it'll be causing him pain and taking away from the pleasure. It's obviously concerning you aswell you really need to have a chat maybe over coffee or a few beers. Try not to freak out too much it's very simular to ohs and other folks problems I've heard of 💟xx

    I have had the exact same issue when I got with my ex, it snapped, was quite painful but then it solved the problem so to speak. I had never thought of it being tight but since that happened can see that it was too tight.

    You dont mention if you are using lube or protection, so maybe foreplay with some lube first might help loosen it before sex, but if it keeps tearing I would go and see a Dr.

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    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow. Reading this gives me the heebie jeebies!

    If it hurts him, or is actually tearing and you have to wait it to heal, surely that is a signal (for him) that something needs to be done?

    Maybe he's embarrassed about it so a gentle approach and support from you might be exactly what he's been (silently) crying out for?

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