• Guess it's all over , mid 40's and suffering

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    loganlogan [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 331
    • Joined: 21 Dec 2014

    I've too have been battling though a break up that came completely out the blue so I you have my deepest sympathy.
    everyone on the forum has been wonderful and so supportive.its been such a help.ive ranted but also had some distractions with some of the forum threads.
    I will say communication is the the most important thing,however hard it seems, dont stop talking

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1572
    • Joined: 11 May 2013

    My heart goes out to you, I'm the other side, Hubby for medical reasons has no interest in sex, I have non sexual cuddles but sex is gone forever. I'm 49, so I have my crush on Peter Capaldi, Huby got jealous about 2 years ago I told him I was sick of being a housekeeper. Today I wear pretty stuff for me, everyday stuff not sexy but nice, toys can't be bothered anymore. Hope Al goes well hugs.

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1572
    • Joined: 11 May 2013

    My heart goes out to you, I'm the other side, Hubby for medical reasons has no interest in sex, I have non sexual cuddles but sex is gone forever. I'm 49, so I have my crush on Peter Capaldi, Huby got jealous about 2 years ago I told him I was sick of being a housekeeper. Today I wear pretty stuff for me, everyday stuff not sexy but nice, toys can't be bothered anymore. Hope Al goes well hugs.

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    MiddleAgedDirtbag [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 8 Dec 2014

    I am sorry to hear this, it must be difficult, I totally get what a lot of the ladies on here have said, as a lady of a certain age(49 ) myself, I get where your wife is coming from aboout the costumes etc, for example there are some things I would feel too old wearing such as school girl type outfit, would feel that I looked ridiculous at my age, that is just how I feel about myself, I would say good luck to any ladies who want to do that. What Cheeky monkey says about hormones is spot in in my opinion. Also just wanted to add that there is so much emphasis on being young and beautiful in the media, that we are bombarded with the idea that it is only young women who are sexy, (with a few exceptions like Helen Mirren etc). it is easy as a menopausal/ pre menopausal woman to feel like you are past it. Good luck

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3808
    • Joined: 17 Jul 2013

    MiddleAgedDirtbag wrote:

    I am sorry to hear this, it must be difficult, I totally get what a lot of the ladies on here have said, as a lady of a certain age(49 ) myself, I get where your wife is coming from aboout the costumes etc, for example there are some things I would feel too old wearing such as school girl type outfit, would feel that I looked ridiculous at my age, that is just how I feel about myself, I would say good luck to any ladies who want to do that. What Cheeky monkey says about hormones is spot in in my opinion. Also just wanted to add that there is so much emphasis on being young and beautiful in the media, that we are bombarded with the idea that it is only young women who are sexy, (with a few exceptions like Helen Mirren etc). it is easy as a menopausal/ pre menopausal woman to feel like you are past it. Good luck

    You're so right about the media thing . Women are made to feel that they are past it when they get to a certain age ....trouble is I'm 52 but feel the same as I did when I was 22 !

    Hormones can make a womans life hell sometimes and it's quite possible your wife is perimenopausal and that brings alot of changes not all physical either , maybe her self confidence has been knocked and she just just feels that she's past enjoying stuff.

    The best you can do is just be there for her and make sure she doesnt feel under pressure to carry on like before and if she feels it necessary prehaps a visit to the doctor to get her hormone levels check out although in my experience those tests are pretty unreliable at detecting menopause .

    Hopefully you'll both get through this difficult time together .

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    Mr Gentleman gent [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 36
    • Joined: 9 Aug 2010

    Wow,

    Thanks for all the advice, i'll take it on board,

    i think i need as you have all said to keep away from the sex talk and basically start treating her as if we were courting again , suprise her, no pestering, listen to her.

    so hear goes, i'll either be back or have my head bitten off.

    Once again thanks to all

    Mr Gent

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