• menopause

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    aanda [sign in to see picture]
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    i dont want this to sound self centered, my wife and i have always had a great sex life, she had a very high sex drive and we used to swing, but latley since she hit the menopause her sex drive has vanished, we still have sex, but it is always instigated by me.

    when we have sex she enjoys it, we have talked about it, but i miss the old days of her jumping on me lol.

    does anyone have any experiance of this, and what can i do to help.

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    MiddleAgedDirtbag [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, I am new on this forum, I am just starting going through menopause myself and had found that my sex drive had dwindled and as you described once my partner instigated it I would enjoy it but didn't have the urge any where near as much. This was also made worse by stress going on in my life (not in my relationship with my partner) and the two together just put a total damper on things. I had been to the doctor about another gynaecological problem menopause related, and was prescribed oestrogen pessaries, at first I didn't notice any difference but after a few weeks now I certainly have, and have had a very definite increase in my sex drive . I also think that psychological factors have a big influence with women as in not feeling as sexy due to ageing /body image and self confidence at this time of life. and just the idea that your reproductiive days are finished even if you did not wany any more children, if that makes sense. I hope this helps :)

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi there. Hopefully this will all sort itself out given time. We all go through peaks and troughs sexually through the years. Stress, tiredness and hormonal changes all have a huge impact on our sex lives.


    Keep talking and remember to keep the intimacy there with kisses and cuddles. Enjoy the sex that you are having even if it is you that always gets the ball rolling and hopefully this is just a stage and she will eventually get her mojo back and take the lead.


    It might be worth a trip to the doctor for her to discuss the loss of libido if she does feel it is a problem and to get a bloodtest to check hormone levels too. They may be able to help and advise things you could try. There's also lots of advice online too. Good luck:)


    MiddleAgedDirtbag welcome to the forum and just wanted to let you know that I love your username. Teenage dirtbag is one of my all time favourite songs:)

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    MiddleAgedDirtbag [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you, i agree it's a great song :)

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    aanda [sign in to see picture]
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    thank you for the replies, we have been lucky in having a few days off together, and have both made an effort to re energize things, and it has helped, talking,as always seems to be key

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    lmh95 [sign in to see picture]
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    aanda wrote:

    thank you for the replies, we have been lucky in having a few days off together, and have both made an effort to re energize things, and it has helped, talking,as always seems to be key

    That's great. Thanks for the update. Talking it through is always good. Life is so fast paced and busy these days that we often forget to show our loved ones just how much they really mean to us and sometimes all you need is just a bit of quality downtime together with no other worries and distractions to help you to get things back on track. Take care:)

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