• Advice about spanking

    1460019501
    blu2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi ☺

    Myself and OH have begun exploring bsdm recently (omg....amazing!!!) My question is, my OH had spanked me with a few things but my favourite hands down is his belt, problem is it's very noisy!!! I would love to carry on for longer but oh is worried the neighbours will hear (the belt, I don't make much noise) I'm happy to experiment with other things but I love the belt so would like to try and get around the sound issue... could they hear do you think?

    I have some pretty marks this morning 😊

    1460021848
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi

    What kind of things do you hear from next door, it may give you an idea of whether they could hear the belt. No matter what you use you are going to get the same kind of noise, so keep it irregular , and leave an action movie playing or put on some music with a strong slow beat and keep the belt in time to the music. Or save it until you know they are out, that will build up some sexual tension waiting for it with no control over when it will happen.

    I love being whipped, so I know how much fun it is, enjoy.

    1460022140
    blu2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi thanks for your reply! We very rarely hear anything, if they are drilling or have loud music on we can hear that. We can hear their dogs barking too. Will definitely try the music/film idea, I also love the idea of building up tension waiting for it ☺ it's delicious isn't it, I never realised how much we would enjoy it 😊

    1460028744
    KitsiKiki [sign in to see picture]
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    Aye, what A4E said is right on the money. If you don't hear a lot from them, then they probably don't hear much from you. Spanking etc can be a loud, sharp sound though, so it might be on par with the barking dogs... difficult to say.

    But if you don't make much noise yourself, they might not even guess what's going on. I mean, a muffled bashing sound is much more mysterious than a muffled bashing followed in perfect time by squeals, moans, and giggles.

    And yes, there's pretty much nothing you can do about it, short of getting your walls soundproofed. Any satisfying impact is going to make a noise. I have found personally that floggers make a different sort of noise, at least when used a certain way. Like a whip but with a... slapping? rather than a crack, but the sound is somehow more... er... spread out? if that makes any sense at all? So it might not travel through walls as well. But I'm just speculating. I'm clearly not an accoustic engineer. Anyway, you could try a flogger, perhaps a rope one- maybe even just for when you know they are in. Even if not, I'm sure you'd still enjoy it.

    My advice would be simply not to worry about it. If they know, they probably don't care either. I couldn't allow my sex life to be dictated by anyone not in it; but if the idea of working around their schedule turns you on, then go for it.

    But aside from that, yeah, film/music or doing it in a room where you might run a machine like a washer should work a treat.

    1460029260
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I think he would have to hit you realy hard for it to be heard. Its probably your own perception of the noise that is bothering you a little . For the same stinginess and perhaps a little quieter, a riding crop from Lovehoney may be worth getting. We have the Bondage Boutique Butterfly crop which can leave imprints of butterflies on your rear.

    1460030195
    glittergirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Have the same problem but worry about the kids not next door I have no idea how to get round the kids 3 are very young 3 weeks old and yes bk at it already couldn't wait lol and others 4 and 2 so I'm not to worried as if did wake them they would not know what was happening at lest. But my older 3 early teens and find it so fustrating i can't get time without them in the house as to young to be out late and all ways worrying next door i wouldn't care about lol 😂

    1460032309
    blu2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Im glad it's not just me worried about it (although i hadnt actually thouht about it until oh said it lol) some great suggestions too thank you! Xxx

    1460032510
    KitsiKiki [sign in to see picture]
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    Glitter, yours is definitely a trickier situation. Sounds like schedule juggling is your only option in that case. I have never had children, so I can only empathize. The only things I can think of would be to try to organise regular 'Date Nights' where either you or your kids would be away, not neccessarily all night/day, but even just a few hours.

    I think most people have heard their parents having sex, though. Your teens might be a little annoyed and/or embarassed, but otherwise undamaged. You might be more embarassed than they, is perhaps more the thing? Or is it that you're afraid they'll think your partner is beating you (in the violent, non-consensual way)? I can see how that could be messy.

    I thought all kids these days have headphones surgically implanted in their ears, though.

    You might not need time without them in the house, so much as time when they probably won't need your attention and/or aren't trying to sleep. It might sound a little unfair, but you could always ask them every so often to go watch TV/listen to music somewhere else in the house, or hang out outside, and watch their little siblings just for an hour or two. Let them know you want privacy, but they know where to find you if they need you for something important.

    Anyway, these ideas are probably all rubbish since I'm not a parent, and my own parents only had a sex life when I was very young before they split up, and only did it at night. And yeah, I heard them, even caught them once, but it never bothered me.

    I guess it all comes with the territory, though, doesn't it?

    1460047224
    blu2 [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh is in a very inventive mood...he has come in with a cable thing fashioned into a loop...super ouchy but much quieter! (Although the problem might be transfered from the noise of the implement to the noise of the recipient 😨) lol x

    1460052547
    FunTimeFancy [sign in to see picture]
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    We don't seem to have had any problems, I can often here next door like them shutting doors or the kids playing, however our bedroom is on the other side of the house and it's a gable end of terrace - only people that would possibly hear are people walking past. Even our 6 year old son across the landing doesn't stir, so don't think you have anything to worry about.

    1460053140
    HappyJimmy [sign in to see picture]
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    I really don't think you should give a flying f*ck about the people next door.

    We only get one life - enjoy it! And if that means getting a good spanking every night, then go for it.

    Ps. Belts really are good though..

    1460053655
    glittergirl [sign in to see picture]
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    If i disappear for second my kids are following me so I have to wait till there in bed but the older ones dad has just said he will have them every other weekend for a sleep over so looks like should be able to get some time if little ones allow yay!!! Once had rather excitable sex woke my 9 yr old and he came in panics say mum r u ok I herd a noise like you screaming I said it ok love I hit my elbow when I turned on the wardrobe. Me and hubby actually found it soon funny. He dint think anything of it. I guess now I worry more about daughter as she is at the age of knowing. And there certain thing so at her age that she just shouldn't know till older than 13.

    1460054040
    blu2 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think oh was more worried they'd a) come around to see if everything ok b) phone the police (bless him, i think he was a bit over worried!) Or c) and this is perhaps the most worrying....ask us about it 😨 they are very open , friendly neighbours. .. on the wrong side of a bit creepy...my second conversation with Mr nextdoor consisted him telling me about his testicles over the garden fence 😨😨😨😨😨

    1460112478
    KitsiKiki [sign in to see picture]
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    glittergirl wrote:

    If i disappear for second my kids are following me so I have to wait till there in bed but the older ones dad has just said he will have them every other weekend for a sleep over so looks like should be able to get some time if little ones allow yay!!! Once had rather excitable sex woke my 9 yr old and he came in panics say mum r u ok I herd a noise like you screaming I said it ok love I hit my elbow when I turned on the wardrobe. Me and hubby actually found it soon funny. He dint think anything of it. I guess now I worry more about daughter as she is at the age of knowing. And there certain thing so at her age that she just shouldn't know till older than 13.

    Hehe, yeah from what I've heard, that's a classic! Glad that you might be getting just the kind of schedule relief you were looking for, though. Hey, so there's a use for exes after all, eh? (Kidding- my ex is a lovely person- but y'know.)

    blu2 wrote:

    I think oh was more worried they'd a) come around to see if everything ok b) phone the police (bless him, i think he was a bit over worried!) Or c) and this is perhaps the most worrying....ask us about it 😨 they are very open , friendly neighbours. .. on the wrong side of a bit creepy...my second conversation with Mr nextdoor consisted him telling me about his testicles over the garden fence 😨😨😨😨😨

    I can understand that worry, if indeed they could hear it they might assume violence before sex, but yeah I'd say it's an overworry. Not likely to be the case, especially if you don't do much/any screaming, crying, and begging him to stop.

    I actually think them being (perhaps overly) open about themselves might make them less likely to ask you about your business. Unless they have done so before. In that case I will politely accept defeat. Although you might get some knowing looks. Still, I'd say try not to let it put you off. It's your life.

    1460468757
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Without opening a new thread on spanking as there are quite a few already but very little on the view point of the spanker

    I know what the spankee gets out of it ie pain and pleasure through endorphin release and perhaps some humiliation as well .I suppose being ordered what to do etc also plays a part .

    As some of you may know I am the reluctant spanker in our relationship. Indeed I only carry it through because it keeps my OH happy and on certain occasions in line ! She has tried it on me including a real walloping but it doesn't do anything for me at the present.Of course I havn't told her this as I don't wish to upset her .

    So I am curious as to what the spanker is suppose to enjoy with this arrangment. Is it just the control of another person or is there something else.

    Thanks .

    1460481882
    McAndrew [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    Without opening a new thread on spanking as there are quite a few already but very little on the view point of the spanker

    Maybe it's because we are both playful, that we normally want to be the spanker and think up ways of increasing the humiliation, rather than the pain. She is great at thinking up ways to build up the suspence.

    Occasionally my wife lets me know that she wants a really sound spanking, but being nudists she has to pick the right moment. I don't like it when it starts to really hurt her, but she wants to push her limit. However thinking it's wrong doesn't make my erection go down.

    Getting back on topic, if we have to be quiet, we use a home made flogger, using of a loop of rope. However I've just looked and can see that Lovehoney might have just the thing.
    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35649

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